One size fits all?

Posted on February 8, 2018 by Sue Vincent
Breaking the Mould, by sculptor Andrew Mckeown

Breaking the Mould, by sculptor Andrew Mckeown

I had to chuckle at the emotions that flitted across my son’s face. He even managed to continue his sentence without a blink, yet the whole internal ‘did she just say that?’ conversation was written in a millisecond across his face

Have you ever noticed how it is with children, no matter what their age, when a subject comes up that they really, really do not want to associate with their parents? Sex is a good one, as parents have, quite obviously never indulged in ‘that type of thing’ and, according to my eldest son, his was an immaculate conception. Anything else cannot be contemplated. He was actually born of roses, but that is a whole other story….

We had been talking about talent and sculptors and he’d mentioned artists working from life. I repeated what I’d said…

“I did some life modelling.”
“Not for sculpture?” This with deep suspicion…
“Just painting.”
“Thank God!”
“There could be pictures anywhere in the world…” I admit, I was enjoying the moment…
“Oh great, I could come across them anywhere???”
“Hmm?”
“So when I’m old I have that to look forward to…”
“Probably such odd poses and styles you wouldn’t recognise me.”
“Whew! That’s something to be thankful for then! I think.”

The light hearted exchange made me chuckle. It was inconceivable to my son that ‘Mum’ had ever been a life model. But I hadn’t become ‘Mum’ at that point. She was a long time in my future. But it got me thinking again.

Have you ever really considered how much of our lives we spend squeezing ourselves into little boxes of conformity to fit the role of the moment? We are raised and unconsciously conditioned by the accepted social norm to a degree we seldom even notice as we slip into patterns of behaviour to fit the ordained mould.

Sculpture II by Kirsten Justesen,

Sculpture II by Kirsten Justesen,

Occasionally those roles are pulled from beneath our feet and we are obliged to question or redefine them and oddly, we find that we can, in spite of the way things have ‘always been’. The roles are nowhere near as rigid as we accept them to be, the boxes made of far more flexible stuff than we expect.

I have a sudden image in my mind of childhood presents, all wrapped and waiting to be discovered. It was always the odd shaped parcels that were the most interesting. Personally, I think I’d rather be intriguingly lumpy and unpredictable. On the other hand, you never really know what is in the square ones till you open them up and look inside.

It makes me wonder how much happier people would be in general if instead of squashing ourselves into a role defined by usage, we lived instead, from the inside out, learning to fill those roles with who we are instead of who we think we ought to be. Living with colour, vividness and passion in what we do and not hiding ourselves away.

Most of us have known at some time those colourful characters who dare to stand out from the crowd. I don’t mean those who rebel just because they can… but those who quietly and genuinely seem to live in their own Being. They don’t go out of their way to be ‘different’, they simply shrug their shoulders and live their own lives in the way that feels whole to them with clear -eyed honesty. They do not seem to mind if they do not fit the mould and find, instead, that the mould adapts itself to fit them.

Some may look down their noses at these non-conformist characters and perhaps it is this fear of disapproval that holds us back. But I think there is a part of most of us who envy that freedom of spirit. Yet we all have that in us, that ability to break the mould and simply be ourselves, regardless of the judgemental eyes we may feel upon us or the preconceived ideas of ‘ought to’. After all, one of humanity’s richest resources is its very diversity… and one size never does fit all.

Freedom by Zenos Frudakis

Freedom by Zenos Frudakis

Unknown's avatar

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
This entry was posted in Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to One size fits all?

  1. Pingback: One size fits all? – The Militant Negro™

  2. Ritu's avatar Ritu says:
    February 8, 2018 at 06:36

    I try so hard not to be too pigeon-holed into certain stereotypes, the Indian woman, the good daughter-in-law, (obviously, I am good, but you know what I mean!) etc, but it can be hard to stick with your path when others look down at you for doing different…

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    • Sue Vincent's avatar Sue Vincent says:
      February 8, 2018 at 06:47

      I can understand that, Ritu, and there are always those who will look down on our choices, no matter what we do. Choose a traditional role and the feminists sneer… choose a dynamic path, and the traditionalists start curtain-twitching. And heaven help you if you are seen to be ‘different’! That’s why the only path that matters is the one that feels right.

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply
  3. KL Caley's avatar KL Caley says:
    February 8, 2018 at 07:39

    Beautiful, dare I say “fitting” post Sue! It was a lovely thing to read today. In fact, I think it is one of those posts that depending on the day or mood you read it, it will bring forward different images and memories of one’s own. Thank you for sharing it with the world! KL ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. Jaye Marie & Anita Dawes's avatar jenanita01 says:
    February 8, 2018 at 09:32

    Lovely sculptures, Sue, especially the last one. I have been called different, unusual, odd, even weird, but the real me has never seen the light of day. I suspect that when and if it ever does, everyone will be surprised!

    Like

    Reply
  6. Stevie Turner's avatar Stevie Turner says:
    February 8, 2018 at 09:32

    I think it tends to be us creatives who do not fit the mould. We’re a little bit different, aren’t we?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. beth's avatar ksbeth says:
    February 8, 2018 at 10:21

    yes, all so true and love the sculptures –

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. memadtwo's avatar memadtwo says:
    February 8, 2018 at 12:25

    Beautiful art that you found…we do live many lives, don’t we? Our children tend to forget we had one quite different before they came along (not to mention that we were children once too). (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Mary Smith's avatar Mary Smith says:
    February 8, 2018 at 16:39

    Excellent post, Sue. As I get older it becomes easier to nudge at the sides of the box and be so totally contained in it. That final scupture is stunning.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. willowdot21's avatar willowdot21 says:
    February 8, 2018 at 18:50

    I have been the odd one out all my life, at school at work in marriage. Sometimes I wish one size did fit all but but then what would happen to me ………….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Eliza Waters's avatar Eliza Waters says:
    February 9, 2018 at 00:50

    Not surprisingly, it’s those mold-breakers that I admire the most. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Marilyn Armstrong's avatar Marilyn Armstrong says:
    February 9, 2018 at 00:51

    My son gets really ALARMED when I mention me as a regular person rather than mom. I’ve given up trying to help him get over that. For him, too much information is anything that isn’t … well … you know … dignified. Which I find both humorous and curious since “dignity” was never one of my strong suits. Apparently when you get to my age, you are automatically conferred with dignity, like it or not 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  14. Widdershins's avatar Widdershins says:
    February 9, 2018 at 04:45

    What a magnificent art installation that ‘Freedom’ is. 🙂 … interestingly our grand-daughter handled us being sexual beings much better than her mother did. 😀

    Like

    Reply
  15. Jennie's avatar Jennie says:
    February 10, 2018 at 12:46

    Oh, I loved this, Sue. I can see where the humorous exchange with your son stirred your thinking. I am guilty- I generally go along with subtle adaptations that fit the moment. Like you said, it’s what we learn to do to be socially acceptable. But, BUT, the older I get, the more I become just me. I do admire those who have a strong sense of self. Terrific post, Sue.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Pingback: Writing Links 2/12/18 – Where Genres Collide

  17. Deborah Jay / Debby Lush's avatar Deborah Jay says:
    February 12, 2018 at 22:01

    Ha ha, that brought back some funny memories. I did some life modelling back in my twenties, and most of the class chose sculpture as their medium. Not much of it looked anything like me at the end, thank goodness!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.