The cat flap…

The guy who’d been to fit the thing
Had really got it wrong…
It didn’t even look too good
Nor was it very strong.

He’d charged a fortune for it
After which we’d had to wrangle
With cats who didn’t want to use
A cat-door at an angle.

At first they were reluctant
But they came to terms at last,
Then fat cat after feral cat
Were always shoving past…

It was inevitable
That the cat flap would soon break
And that is why I cannot move
And why I sorely ache.

“I need to fit a new one,”
Said my son, “Can you bob in?
The cats are meowling to get out
And yowling to get in!”

(I wouldn’t mind, but all these cats
Did not live there before…
They turned up for the auto-feed
When he installed the door…)

He’d bought the self-same model
So it should have been a breeze…
Just switch the fittings over
And we’d fit the thing with ease…

It never works out simply though
Or happens ‘just like that’…
Nor does it help when you are watched
Intently by the cat.

I wrestled with the ruddy thing
As night grew dark and cold,
They’d done it wrong, it wouldn’t fit…
And I am getting old…

I managed, though, eventually,
With fingers black and blue
I went home aching everywhere
And other places too!

At least the cats are happy,
All the felines in the ‘hood
Seem to approve my carpentry
And think my work was good.

Today I cannot move at all,
My spine and wrists are stuck.
If anyone wants anything today…
They’re out of luck.

But next time that they break the flap
And can’t get in the house?
They’d better learn screwdriving skills
Or go and catch a mouse!

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
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43 Responses to The cat flap…

  1. Ah. We are masters of the dog flap. It is a great convenience, but also, a great invitation. Our dogs don’t let other dogs in, but one of these days, we’re going to have a raccoon invasion.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ritu says:

    You needed one of those microchip ones where only your cat can get in and out! Hope your aches subside soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. buffalopound says:

    Obviously mistress of all trades, Sue πŸ˜‰ You shouldn’t be such a hands on girl.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jenanita01 says:

    We need a new cat flap, one with a revolving door to accommodate most of the neighbourhood cats! (and the reblog button is back! Yay!)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. willowdot21 says:

    The things you do for love! 🌹


  6. Hope the aches and bruises heal quickly.


  7. Oh this is brilliant Sue!


  8. bobcabkings says:

    I spent the weekend crouching and kneeling to tend the fireplace (the furnace was out of action), so I have complete sympathy for the consequences of working on a cat flap at floor level. I used to have an apartment (“flat” in British) with windows that opened sideways, and built a frame with a cat flap to fit. My cat liked it, but one day a big feral tom got in and went panic mad finding himself indoors, running up walls and such. I shut my cat in the bathroom (She did not know the meaning of fear and would have been no match for that beast.), and unable to steer the intruder toward a door, called for the Animal Control Officer. He came wearing great thick leather gloves and caught the cat and got it into his truck. When he took the gloves off he had wounds where the cat had clawed or bit through the gloves.

    One good thing, I don’t think Ani will allow a cat flap at her house.


  9. You seem to have the same problems as I do with the contraptions. Not as easy as they should be to install. I hope you’re feeling better after battling the cat door. πŸ™‚


  10. Eliza Waters says:

    It’s the can-do Yorkshire lass in you, I’d reckon! πŸ˜‰


  11. Widdershins says:

    Heh, heh, heh … or grow their own opposable thumbs! πŸ˜€


  12. Hmm. Maybe this was “catterel?” πŸ˜€


  13. I see your son’s home is the receptor for freeloading cats. I bet none of them admitted to the breakage. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne


  14. Reblogged this on KiddaayyMommas and commented:
    Cute cat poem! Oh those crazy cats!!

    Liked by 1 person

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