Bathtime-take two

Copyright Off The Leash/Rupert Fawcett

Because my back is playing up…
The pain is not a joke…
I thought I’d run a nice, hot bath
And have a proper soak.

I’ve got a tub of Epsom salts,
A remedy of yore,
Perhaps they’d help a little bit
To ease the bit that’s sore.

I looked down at the bathtub
With the small dog at my side,
And while I weighed the problem up
She ran away to hide.

She doesn’t like the bath, oh no,
And needed no excuse
To run away before I pounced
…She knows my every ruse.

But should I take a bath, well then
She’s right there by my side,
And eyeing up my dignity
…I have nowhere to hide.

The small dog’s toilette, just for once,
Was not what what made me pout…
The problem was not getting in,
But whether I’d get out.

What if, I wondered, I got in,
But then I wound up stuck?
With just the dog as cavalry
I would be out of luck.

The only help that I could call
Would be a local son,
And that would not be good at all
When all is said and done!

Instead, I left the doors unlocked
And powered up the phone
So if it all went belly up,
I’d not be stuck alone.

I eased myself into the tub,
Before the bath was run,
But fully clothed for starters
As protection for the son.

Both in and out I managed it,
Though not without a groan,
And so I thought I’d risk it
And get in the bath alone.

I made the water steaming hot,
Which made me lobster pink,
…And left a bathrobe handy
And my phone right by the sink.

Now, bathing should be all relaxed,
A healing thing… instead
I lay and soaked, but getting out
Was filling me with dread.

At least it made me stay in there
The best part of an hour…
But honestly… tomorrow?
Well, I think I’ll get a shower!

Image result for aunty acid shower funny cartoon

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
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63 Responses to Bathtime-take two

  1. quiall says:

    hahah It paints a picture! Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Nice and slowly does it . Glad you thought to take the phone and put it in reach. Sending healing hugs… gentle ones.πŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. newsferret says:

    Back pains, so find a spinal pilates physio. I speak from experience, it will do you well both physically and mentally.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What an awful dilemma, nobody wants to have to call for help, naked. I hope you enjoyed your soak in the bath, and that your back is soon feeling better. x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another gem Sue. Hope you are feeling better today.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. noelleg44 says:

    Good one, Sue. I’ll bet Ani was relieved that SHE was not the one going in! Fin yourself a good physical therapist – they can do wonders. Hubs has one and also an acupuncturist…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Darlene says:

    I wanted to laugh but then that would be mean. It sounds like you thought it out well and were prepared just in case. I’m sure Ani would have helped you, like a good little dog! I do hope your back is better soon, Sue.


  8. colonialist says:

    They make for stairs a chair-lift,
    And also for the loo;
    So why not get one to shift
    A bod at bath-time, too?

    Love the verse and cartoon.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Eliza Waters says:

    One does have to consider all the possibilities, unfortunately. Glad you got your soak and were able to get out. Heal quickly, Sue!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jenanita01 says:

    The last time I had a bath was several years ago. I couldn’t get out that day, and ended UK trying to roll over onto my hands and knees. Luckily, I love showers, but need a seat so I can take it easy!
    Hope your back gets better soon, Sue!


  11. Oh dear. Those Epsom baths are great, but only if you can get out! Sorry for laughing.


  12. I do not take baths anymore because — yup, that’s right — I can’t get out. If I had a different tub with a good grab bar, I could, but as of right now, nope. No can do. And I refuse to let Garry help me. That’s the total humiliation bath.


  13. wallietheimp says:

    This is the best. I love it πŸ™‚


  14. Darlene says:

    I think my first comment went into spam. I love this post and it appears you were well prepared for anything. Love how you tried it out with your clothes on! Hope your back is better soon.


  15. LOL! What a great poem. You know I have sympathy for you because I have a bad back too. Feel better soon. ❀


  16. I am sorry your back is playing up, Sue. A very entertaining poem.


  17. macjam47 says:

    Loved your poem, but so sorry to hear about your back. Is there a gym with a pool near you? Walking in the pool keeps me moving and helps ease back pain. Take care! Love and hugs. ❀️❀️❀️


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