Port Naain is a city which has a secret craving for novelty. Whilst it will often strike outsiders as a distinctly priggish place, those of us who have lived here all our lives know better. Port Naain goes questing after new experiences like an elderly roué who has just discovered a new bordello.

Still it is not my place to moralise. Indeed I like to think my own patrons are not cut from any common cloth and thus rise above such cravings. Hence it can be a little disconcerting to discover that your patrons are flocking to see the new sensation.

The evil genius, pandering to their less noble cravings, was Qualan Bassat. It was he that introduced the city to snail wrestling. Now we’ve had squid wrestling for years, and it has a loyal following. But snail wrestling was new. Up until now the commercial exploitation of snails had been mainly culinary. They do form a vital ingredient in several dishes; and most hostesses will have a set of glass snail shells in which they can serve those dishes.

The only other person I remember making any money out of snails was Mutt who for a while ran a snail racing enterprise.

The procedure is simple. You have two concentric circles and the snails are placed in the inner circle. The winner is the snail that crosses the outer circle first. Mutt would set out his board and challenge all comers to defeat his prize snail. He had a score of contenders in a bucket and people could pick any snail they wanted, or even fetch their own.

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