Guest author: Amy M. Reade – We’ll Laugh About This…Years From Now

Image: Pixabay

Last year I wrote a blog post for Sue that detailed some of my family’s experiences on vacation. And though my husband and I are tempted to stop going on vacation because of said experiences, we keep doing it. Maybe we just have a thing for pain.

So in the spirit of embracing the unexpected, my family and I will be visiting the United Kingdom later this year in the fervent hope that our trip will go better than it did the last time.

Before you say That’s great! or You’ll have so much fun!, let me take a moment to tell you about our last vacation. Not the last time we went to the UK—just our last vacation. Period.

We went to Hawaii. I know—gorgeous, everything is in bloom, the weather is perfect, the blue Pacific, blah blah blah.

The night before we left we stayed in a hotel near the airport. The morning of our flight, the first few minutes set the tone for the trip. One of my children refused to get out of bed. The other two lambasted me for snoring, though I continue to maintain they were both dreaming. The conversation went a little something like this.

Kid 1: “Mom, thanks to your snoring I had the worst night of sleep I ever had.”

Kid 2, not to be outdone, made unbearable grunting noises, as if in imitation of the sounds I had allegedly made during the night. “I didn’t sleep at all.”

Kid 1: “No, seriously. Every time you inhaled it was deafening, then you ended every exhale with this huge explosion of noise.”

Dad (really? He couldn’t leave well enough alone?): “It was actually pretty bad.”

I guess he had the same dream.

We finally managed to get Kid 3 out of bed with the promise of getting breakfast at the airport.

I was the only one not chosen for TSA pre-check.

We sat on the tarmac for several hours before departing, meaning we missed the connecting flight even before we were off the ground. My husband was furious, but I had taken a Xanax because of my crippling fear of flying.

I woke up to Kid 1 staring at me. “Are we in the air?” I asked groggily.

My husband glared daggers at me, as if I somehow caused the flight delay. “No, and we’ve missed our connecting flight already.”

“Well, it is what it is. We can’t do anything about it now,” I said in a singsong voice, lolling my head back. But then the Xanax started to wear off and before long I was in a full-blown panic, feeding off my husband’s stress. Blessedly, the kids knew better than to ask a lot of questions or, God forbid, start fighting.

Long story short, we ended up getting a connecting flight on a different airline to another city, then getting on another connecting flight to Hawaii. We only arrived eight hours late.

Over the course of the next two weeks, one child never left his room (unless under duress) except to eat, use the bathroom, and go to the pool after dark each evening to hang out with some new friends from Canada. One child was never home, opting instead to be on the cell phone every single second in places where we could neither hear nor even find her. The third child stayed home, but slept during the day and talked on the phone at night.

The day we made them all get in the car to visit the volcano you would have thought we had threatened to sacrifice them. The complaints from the back seats (when we travel we get minivans with three rows to keep them separated) ranged from “I hate hiking. Why do we all have to go?” to “Why do we have to do things together?” to “I can’t believe how boring this is.”

You’re jealous, I know. But the fun doesn’t stop there.

One night I was sleeping on the couch so I could hear my son when he came home from the pool. Turns out I didn’t hear him come in—with three friends. Instead, I woke up to a blinding light in my eyes and my son saying, “Mom, don’t move. I put a baby gecko on your face and I’m trying to video it. Oh, by the way, these are my friends.”

“Nice to meet you, boys,” I murmured, trying not to move. “Get the gecko off my face, please.”

“But he’s so cute,” my son said. “I don’t want to move him.”

Did I mention our kitchen also caught on fire when my husband and I were out to dinner? My son managed to put the fire out before any significant damage was done, though I should hasten to add that the fire wasn’t his fault. It was his sister’s fault, though I won’t say here which sister.

All in all, I would say it was a pretty typical vacation. Amid choruses of “Can we take one of those feral cats home?” and “Why can’t I go hang gliding?” and “Don’t look now, but I may have said something rude to those local kids and now they want to kill us,” we managed to get home without injuries or major legal incidents. Only one leg of our trip home was cancelled and when we got back to the airport we only had to wait an hour or so for the guy from AAA to come and start my car for me because the battery was dead.

So to say I’m looking forward to our trip to the UK (which we planned and paid for prior to going to Hawaii) is a stretch. But just like all our other trips, we’re bound to have something to laugh about later. Much later. Hopefully.


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2013-1548About the author

Amy M. Reade is a cook, chauffeur, household CEO, doctor, laundress, maid, psychiatrist, warden, seer, teacher, and pet whisperer. In other words, a wife, mother, and recovering attorney. But she also writes (how could she not write with that last name?) and is the author of The Malice Series (The House on Candlewick Lane, Highland Peril, and Murder in Thistlecross), three standalone books (Secrets of Hallstead House, The Ghosts of Peppernell Manor, and House of the Hanging Jade), and a cozy mystery (The Worst Noel). She lives in southern New Jersey, but loves to travel. Her favorite places to visit are Scotland and Hawaii and when she can’t travel she loves to read books set in far-flung locations.

Her new book, Murder in Thistlecross, Book 3 of the Malice Series, is now available:

Amazon     Barnes & Noble    Kobo     iBooks    Google Play

And at your favorite independent bookstore

Eilidh Cameron comes to Wales from the Scottish Highlands following a tragic and bitter divorce. As the house manager for a centuries-old castle in the village of Thistlecross, it’s her job to make sure the three sons of Annabel Baines are comfortable and entertained while they and their spouses visit Annabel. And as Annabel’s friend, it’s her fear that Annabel’s sons are hiding something. From the moment the first son arrives with his wife, it’s clear there are tensions in the family that will have to be resolved for the sake of peace in the castle. And when a shocking murder takes place, Eilidh feels it is her duty to remain at the castle to help Annabel through the painful aftermath. But Eilidh’s fierce devotion to Annabel may prove to be more dangerous than she could have imagined.


Other books by Amy M. Reade

The House on Candlewick Lane amy-reade

It is every parent’s worst nightmare. Greer Dobbins’ daughter has been kidnapped—and spirited across the Atlantic to a hiding place in Scotland. Greer will do anything to find her, but the streets of Edinburgh hide a thousand secrets—including some she’d rather not face.

Art historian Dr. Greer Dobbins thought her ex-husband, Neill, had his gambling addiction under control. But in fact he was spiraling deeper and deeper into debt. When a group of shady lenders threatens to harm the divorced couple’s five-year-old daughter if he doesn’t pay up, a desperate Neill abducts the girl and flees to his native Scotland. Though the trail seems cold, Greer refuses to give up and embarks on a frantic search through the medieval alleys of Edinburgh—a city as beguiling as it is dangerous. But as the nightmare thickens with cryptic messages and a mysterious attack, Greer herself will become a target, along with everyone she holds dear.


Highland PerilHighland Peril (A Malice Novel) by [Reade, Amy M.]

Trading the urban pace of Edinburgh for a tiny village overlooking a breathtaking blue loch was a great move for budding photographer Sylvie Carmichael and her artist husband, Seamus—until a dangerous crime obscures the view . . .
 
Sylvie’s bucolic life along the heather-covered moors of the Highlands is a world away from the hectic energy of the city. But then a London buyer is killed after purchasing a long-lost Scottish masterpiece from Seamus’s gallery—and the painting vanishes. As suspicion clouds their new life, and their relationship, Sylvie’s search for answers plunges her into an unsolved mystery dating back to Cromwellian Scotland through World War I and beyond. And as she moves closer to the truth, Sylvie is targeted by a murderer who’s after a treasure within a treasure that could rewrite history . . . and her own future.


Secrets of Hallstead HouseSecrets of Hallstead House by [Reade, Amy M.]

“You are not wanted here. Go away from Hallstead Island or you will be very sorry you stayed.”

Macy Stoddard had hoped to ease the grief of losing her parents in a fiery car crash by accepting a job as a private nurse to the wealthy and widowed Alexandria Hallstead. But her first sight of Hallstead House is of a dark and forbidding home. She quickly finds its winding halls and shadowy rooms filled with secrets and suspicions. Alex seems happy to have Macy’s help, but others on the island, including Alex’s sinister servants and hostile relatives, are far less welcoming. Watching eyes, veiled threats. . .slowly, surely, the menacing spirit of Hallstead Island closes in around Macy. And she can only wonder if her story will become just one of the many secrets of Hallstead House. . .

Praise for Amy M. Reade’s Secrets of Hallstead House
 
“Danger, mystery, a brave but resilient heroine, and a hero at her side, coupled with a house that is almost a character in its own right: these classic gothic romances are all to be found in Amy Reade’s debut novel.”  —heroesandheartbreakers.com


The Ghosts of Peppernell Manor by [Reade, Amy M.]The Ghosts of Peppernell Manor

“Do you know what stories Sarah could tell you about the things that happened in these little cabins? They’d curl that pretty red hair of yours.”

Outside of Charleston, South Carolina, beyond hanging curtains of Spanish moss, at the end of a shaded tunnel of overarching oaks, stands the antebellum mansion of Peppernell Manor in all its faded grandeur. At the request of her friend Evie Peppernell, recently divorced Carleigh Warner and her young daughter Lucy have come to the plantation house to refurbish the interior. But the tall white columns and black shutters hide a dark history of slavery, violence, and greed. The ghost of a former slave is said to haunt the home, and Carleigh is told she disapproves of her restoration efforts. And beneath the polite hospitality of the Peppernell family lie simmering resentments and poisonous secrets that culminate in murder—and place Carleigh and her child in grave danger…


House of the Hanging JadeHouse of the Hanging Jade by [Reade, Amy M.]

A dark presence had invaded the Jorgensens’ house. On a spectacular bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, something evil is watching and waiting . . .


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About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
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47 Responses to Guest author: Amy M. Reade – We’ll Laugh About This…Years From Now

  1. Ritu says:

    Here’s hoping this vacation is a little less eventful for you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Amy M. Reade: Guest Author. – The Militant Negro™

  3. Darlene says:

    Family holidays – not what they are cracked up to be. We are retired now so that is all behind us. Although things can still go wrong and travelling with a husband can be, well, sort of like travelling with a kid. We are planning a driving holiday in France with the dog. We’ll see how that goes.

    Liked by 3 people

    • amreade says:

      I can only imagine how throwing our dog into the mix might ratchet up the stress! That being said, I miss her terribly when we’re away and I wish she could go everywhere with us. I hope you have a wonderful trip!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Boys, you gotta love them! Great post 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. NOOOO, Amy, NOOOO.
    Donna

    Liked by 2 people

  6. tidalscribe says:

    The last time all three of ours came on holiday with us I had said ‘Let’s have a fortnight away, it will probably be the last time number one son wants to come with us’ to which he replied ‘I don’t want to come this time’. Holidays are the only time families are together for more than a few hours and we realised we didn’t actually like any if them! Let us know where and when you will be I’m th UK so we can steer clear! Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

    • amreade says:

      You make me laugh. It’s nice to know our family isn’t the only one that doesn’t do vacations very well. Incidentally, my husband has already booked tickets back to Hawaii for early next year and he’s taking his mother with him. I’m staying home with the kids. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. That is really funny! Thanks for the chuckle! Of course I would not have wanted all that fun! Your kids are always good for a laugh but I think maybe you should get them a Nanny… you know the kind… and you and John take a quiet vacation!

    😀

    Liked by 2 people

  8. amreade says:

    A nanny,,,hmmm…I hadn’t thought of that. Great idea! You’d think my kids would be too old for a nanny, but perhaps not!

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lyn Horner says:

    Reblogged this on Lyn Horner's Corner and commented:
    Hilarious vacation! To read about, not to experience.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Amy Rachud says:

    Gecko on your face may be my favorite part. I laughed out loud. Here’s hoping the next vacation is better.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. barbtaub says:

    When we got married the Hub was finishing up his PhD and starting his very first job as an assistant professor. So the honeymoon was put off several years. Finally however we found ourselves flying to Hawaii with a surprisingly crabby Child#1 in tow. Her unhappiness was explained when we checked into our hotel and discovered the chickenpox. The hotel doctor put the quarantine notice on her door and we spent the next four days of the “honeymoon” sitting on the floor of the bathroom drinking Mai Tais before being escorted to the airport. Good times.

    (Are you coming to Scotland on that next trip?)

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out this great guest author post from Amy M. Reade as featured on Sue Vincent’s blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Guest author: Amy M. Reade – The Militant Negro™

  14. dgkaye says:

    Omg Amy, you can’t make that sh*t up, lol. I hope your UK trip goes a lot smoother. And kudos to you for not freaking out over the gecko on your face! 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Jennie says:

    This is hilarious!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Sounds quite a lot like my vacations, Amy, except I have two kids and not three. I am grateful every day I never agreed to a third [smile]. We are going to be in the UK and Scotland in August and I am already so excited.

    Liked by 1 person

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