My two-legs is a meanie
And she manages to con me,
‘Cause when I think she’s being nice
She visits hell upon me.
Just take today, for instance,
I’m all snuggled up in bed
To wait for her to finish work…
But she comes back instead.
She’s back home way too early
And as if that’s not a joy,
She hasn’t come back all alone…
She’s come back with my boy!
I have to jump upon him,
It’s expected, don’t you see,
And then I snuggle up a bit
So he can cuddle me.
I share his toasted cheesey stuff,
Amuse him with the ball…
But meanwhile sneaky two-legs Mum
Has wandered down the hall.
I didn’t even notice while
He gave my back a rub…
My rotten sneaky two-legs
Had gone off to fill the tub…
They caught me good and proper,
And he held me on the lead
While she applied the soapy stuff
I swear I did not need!
I got them back on exit
When I shook my dripping fur…
(I didn’t get my boy too much,
But aimed it all at her.)
I got the walls and ceiling
And put hair upon her floor,
Then headed for her sofa
When she cracked the bathroom door.
To add insult to injury…
All guilt upon her head…
When I went off to sulk a bit
I found she’d washed my bed!
So everything was flowery,
She’d done her planning well…
But no amount of perfume
Covers up that wet dog smell 😊
All well and good for her to say
Baths stop the moulting itch,
I say, between the two of us,
I’m not the only bitch…
🤣❤
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🙂
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OMG! This is beyond adorable and funny as all sin. Such a lovely little Maggie being tortured by bath. LOL! 😁
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Ani and Maggie do look remarkably alike 😉
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OMG! I mixed them up? I’m so sorry.
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Easily done 😉
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Oh you poor fur baby Ani!
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I know… she was obliged to give me treats though 😉
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😁
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😍
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🙂
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Another gem Sue. Poor Ani!
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She has still not forgiven me 😉
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Aw, but she will. Maggie send her support (hehe)
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I’ll bet she does too 😉
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🙂
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🙂 lol!
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😀
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My human parents do this terrible thing to me too. I feel for you, Ani. Your friend, Dot.
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Hi Dot… they just don’t seem to understand we don’t like to smell like flowers… 😦
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😀 Oh, this is too good, Sue!
Sorry, Ani, I know it’s not fun, but must be done!
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Ani says she doesn’t agree 😉 But she is so pretty when she has had a bath…
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Oh, Ani, I’m really sorry but I did laugh out loud, especially at the bit where you discovered she’d washed your bed. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be a while before you need to go through the torture again – and there are always treats afterwards.
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That was the ultimate betrayal… 😉 But there were lots of treats…
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Great poem, love the rhymes!
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Thank you 🙂
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Okay, I loved those last two lines! Read them out loud to Peri, who wants Ani to know she has all her sympathy, and thanks for the warning.
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Tell Peri to guard her bed if you start digging the towels out 😉
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I’m glad I at least found you in the Reader. i keep trying to get my email level down, but instead of cutting down, I cut them out and now I’m totally lost. Is it me? Give Ani and big hug for me. I miss her beautiful eyes.
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Not just you… I found nearly a hundred emails I actually want in spam this morning…
I’ll hug Ani for you, if she’s forgiven me this morning 😉
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Well done, Sue!
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Thank you 🙂
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You are very welcome, Sue. 🙂
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Great planning, Sue. You’ll have to give her a treat.
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Shegets plenty of those 🙂
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It could be worse, Ani. you could be hosed down outside!
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She’d have to catch me first 😉
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Aw I’m sure that’s just what ‘the small dog’ was saying! 😀
But I do love a freshly washed fluffy dog. 🙂
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I love how her hair is crimped crinkled when it is wet too 🙂
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Aw cute 🙂
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She is 🙂
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Oh! Ani I totally agree those two legs can be so mean but they don’t mean to be , I think they are only trying to help. My Two legs is not herself “just what that means I don’t know?” so I can have my say without her catching me. Love from Ruby 💜💜
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Hey Ruby! I know…but they get such strange ideas.What’s wrong with a dog smelling of dog, I ask you?
Look after your two-legs and give her our love xxx
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I will do thank you, and you look after yours too. You know Ani, I can believe they think that their smell is better than ours 💜💜
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Yeah, but we have the Nose, so we know better 😉 ❤
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Yes indeed we do 💜💜
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My sympathies, Ani, they got me good and proper at the groomers and I have to take some white pill to stop licking my paws. They is sore and something in the grass keeps itching. Much paw love, Dante Dawg. xxx
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Ow… not good, Dante! And I think they’ve given me a cold with bathing me. And they can say what they like about the heating making it feel like a sauna in here till I dried… 😉 xx
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Love this… I, well I should say my dogs totally relate to this. ❤️
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Yet show the a murky pond and they want to swim? 😉
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Lol Ani, you are a little testy today to your 2 Leggses aren’t you? Lol 🙂 xx
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Well, they washed me everywhere… and left me smelling like a daisy… hrmph! 😉 xx
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Lollllllllllll 🙂 xxx
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Um… sorry Ani, but your poets soul does so warm, cheer me, make me laugh and fill with joy, all while I try to smother the laugh, be appropriately compassionate over your trials and tribulations – TamrahJo.
Dear Ani – when those two-leggeds get the urge to do grooming/bath stuff watch out – for me? So far, between roll in the leaves/twigs and dust I’m demolting, with occassional ‘hand rakes’ from mine and she has softened the blow by having the winter stock pot cranked up, full of yummy bones for going on two weeks now – I figure, she’s worried about me catching cold with our recent winter temps, so I might be in the clear with just groomings and sprays of essential oils from now till next March! – Oakley
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Mine doesn’t believe in bathing me too often either, Oakley… but she does get this bee in her bonnet sometimes, then no amount of puppy eyes seems to work. I do like the sound of that stock pot though… 😉
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We will see – She insisted on putting onion and garlic in the chicken pot – so I don’t get any of that, even after she tortured me by smelling roasted chicken all day – Maybe next chicken she’ll remember to do some plain chicken broth for me – 🙂
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That’s just as mean as when mine makes beeft stuff wit onions in too 😦
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Yes, sad that onion keeps their systems trucking along better, especially going into winter season and doesn’t allow for one stockpot for us both to eat out of – – Mine even researched once “what happens if a little bit of garlic, onion is in it? ” and said to me, “Oh, but girl, it would be so good for your joints and heart – :). Like my heart isn’t perfect already – – sheesh!
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Mine sometimes remembers to put a bit aside for me before the oniony stuff goes in. 😉
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Mine is obviously too lazy to keep two crocks going. I think she is paying more attention to homemade libations and sourdoughs than to broth pots. Lol
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Ah…they can be funny like that 😉
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Your two-legged is really sneaky Ani, but look, you must feel light and clean and you have a clean bed – I know lots of doggies at our local pound who would switch places with you in a cold minute.
Count your blessings, lassie!
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She has her upside too. I was poorly last night so she stayed up with me on the sofa. x
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Entrapment! Diabolical!
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Tell me about it…
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I have fallen in love with your canine-love poems, Sue! Loved this one, too! ❤
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Thank you, Shilpa. I love this dog 🙂
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😊
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The last line is fantastic, Ani! So true too. LoL Honestly on the picture you are looking very angry too. Whats about leaving the UK and settle over to Germany? 😉 Best wishes, Michael
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Don’t tempt me…I hear you do good sausgages in Germany 😉
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Very good sausages, Ani! By the way: The term “amused” is reserved for Her Majesty”. LoL
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Ani appears to be packing up her toys 😉
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Oh. LoL There is a short time windows heading over to Germany, the second Blonde said. 🙂
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Ani is fast 😉
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You are becoming a very creative duo. Stick to your rights Ani
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I will… 😉
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