The morning dawned clear, it was frosty and cold
But the sun was ablaze in the sky…
I was off to my son’s with my wet weather gear,
In the hope that I’d stay warm and dry.
‘Cause I thought I’d continue from where I’d left off,
With the jet-washing, weeding and stuff,
Wasn’t long, I was cold, wet and muddy again,
Pretty soon I had had quite enough.
But I just could not face yet another wet day,
So I thought that I should persevere.
It couldn’t take that long to finish the job,
Pretty soon I would have it all clear.
The optimist hopes where the pessimist sighs
And the realist laughs in their wake,
So half a day later, I’m nowhere near done,
And I’m really beginning to ache.
I can’t feel my hands or my feet very much,
Just a tingle that borders on pain,
So I’m dreading the moment they start to warm up
And will go back to feeling again…
I think that my brain must have frozen as well,
‘Cause I can’t have been thinking quite straight
When I took a step backwards and met with thin air
And just knew… but by then it’s too late…
You see, there’s a stream that runs under the deck,
And a big hole cut out so you see
Where the water runs deep, and within it are rocks…
And on top of the rocks there was me.
Now this hole is about coffin-sized, I suppose,
And I’d told them, “You can’t put that there…
Someone’s bound to fall in…” but they said, “It looks good!
Health and safety from you? Well, that’s rare…”
I am winded and wetter and sat in this hole,
I’d gone down with a hell of a crack,
With one foot underneath and the other upstream
And a rock in the small of my back.
So I checked all the bits to make sure they still worked,
And proceded to haul myself out,
While the robins who’d followed me round all the day
Wondered what this new game was about.
By now the day’s over, the night’s drawing in
And the garden is starting to freeze;
I thought I’d been clever with wearing the boots,
But the stream had just filled them with ease…
There isn’t a dry bit of clothing at all,
But I thought to myself, what the heck…
Tomorrow I may not be moving at all…*
So I got on and finished the deck.
With teeth all a-chatter and frozen to death,
I survey with relief the job done.
And just at that moment, my pocket vibrates
With a message that’s come from my son.
Now this is the son in whose garden I work,
He for whom I now shiver and freeze…
And the irony is that he’s sent me a pic
Of him swimming in tropical seas…**
A garden they tell you is good for your health
I’m afraid that I must disagree…
His garden may be a delight for my son,
But it seems set on murdering me!
* It is now tomorrow and I was right…
**Absolutely true…perfect comic timing…
I always thought my husband was the klutziest person on earth, but honestly, I think you and he could comfortably compete. Except he did his on TV with cameras rolling and you merely write about yours online. Come to think about it, you are both stars.
I do hope you are still in one piece!! I feel like I need pain relievers just thinking about falling in that hole.
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I have managed a fair bit of idiocy over the years, it seems. This one was a ‘good’ one. To add insult to injury, once out of the hole, I had to kneel on the wet deck and fish the two stones out of the stream to stand them back up again. They are about two feet tall and heavy…
Painkillers for breakfast…
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Garry walked chest deep into the flooded Concord River. On TV. With everyone watching. including me, Owen — and pretty much everyone we knew. Owen and I were watching and I said to him “He’s going to walk into the river. I just know it.” Yup. He did. Some friendly fan gave him some dry clothing. It was March and I was hoping he wasn’t going to do a whole day reporting in sodden, icy clothing.
Garry also broke his ankle falling out of a hammock. Not everyone can DO that you know.
I do hope you feel better. Maybe you should … well … look more carefully before you go there? That’s what I keep telling Garry. “Sweetheart, look DOWN too!”
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I broke my ankle on the safety buffer on a trampoline… then fell off a bus on the way home from getting the cast off and broke it again… That was just before I fell off the platform shoes and broke it…. 🙂
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Oh, my love your poetry but I hurt just thinking about your fall.
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I’m hurting all over this morning… hope no-one makes me laugh 😉
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How do you get signed on for these hazardous duties anyway?
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I’m his mother 🙂
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Ahhhh okay, I did not sign up for housekeeping duties for my boys. Not that it was not needed.
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I have little choice being both mother and carer for that one 😉
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Oh my Sue!!! I hope you’re not too achey!
Right. That’s it. I’m calling your sons!!!
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Stiff as a board, Ritu. I daren’t even look for the bruises… Thankfully, the world is frozen white this morning so the rest of the gardening will have to wait till it thaws 😉
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And you can relax too! Hot bath for you Milady!
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That sounds wonderful right now…
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Go for it Sue!
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I will soon as I am done with the urgent stuff…then bed…
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🙂
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks, for sharing, Jaye x
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There has to be a way that these jobs can be done earlier, before the weather turns nasty!
I haven’t managed it yet either… but I’m thinking of delegating to a younger family member…
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The weather was beautful, if cold, so part of me enoyed it… just not the bit that got cold, wet and bruised 😉
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He needs to bring home some sunshine and warmth (hugs and kisses)… Hope you feel better soon! 😚
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That would be rather nice now the frost has settled in… 😉
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Ouch and more ouch! I hope everything stays frozen long enough for you to be able to move again.
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It infroze long enough to get his garden finished… I, on the other hand, have officially seized up.
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Well done on the descriptive poem! Sorry you’re in pain…hope it passes soon. ♥
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So do I, Billy!
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Yikes!
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Yep 😀
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Really enjoyed this. You are clever, I have never been able to write poetry and admire those who can. You can. Fab. Hope your aches soon pass. xx
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This kind of doggerel I was raised on, Jane 🙂 xx
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xxxx 🙂
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🙂 xx
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Ha ha ha. Oh, the irony. What a wet, cold, miserable job and then to get that photo. Lol. You’re a heroic mom, Sue.
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Stubborn. And apparently very clumsy 😉
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It’ll keep you young, Sue. 🙂
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Only on the inside 😉
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Oh, no! Join the “Klutzy Klub”. It’s my curse. I hope you are only sore!
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Very sore, Jennie…and incredibly stiff today.
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☹️ It could have been so much worse…
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It could, very easily. I’m grateful it wasn’t.
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Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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Thank you for sharing…
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Oh, dear – I hope you are recovering from your mishap. I think maybe next year you might scrub the deck in September!
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I was busy in September…and it rained a lot 😉
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And you scold the small dog for getting all wet and muddy … do you suppose this is Dog Revenge? 😀 ** quickly looks around to make sure no dogs are watching**
So glad to hear you escaped with chilled endy-bits and bruises.
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P.S. your ‘doggerel’ is magnificent. Ever thought of publishing a ‘collected works’?… because this one would definitely qualify. 😀
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Thank you 🙂 There are a couple of poetry books out there… Life Lines and Laughter Lines 🙂
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The difference is that I don’t fight tooth and nail when I need a bath 😉
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Oh no, you haven’t had much luck there at all! It must have hurt falling down that hole and being freezing. I saw the pic of Nick too swimming in the sea, as you say, perfect timing! 🙂
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Yes, he just laughed…and I can’t really blame him 🙂
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