On hold…

The dog and I watched the dawn come up from the doorstep. We had seen the stars sparkle in the moonlight and watched the mistwraiths dance in the fields as the first pre-dawn light crept over the horizon. It was a lovely moment, but not one we had been expecting to share. We should both have been a long way from home.

I had just loaded the last of the bags into the car yesterday when the phone rang. The dog was ready to go and another five minutes would have seen us on our way north, all calls blocked until I stopped driving.

For the life of me, I couldn’t see why the surgery was calling. Maybe they were getting the flu jabs lined up early? I wasn’t worried. I’d only had the X-ray a couple of hours earlier and the results would take at least a week, so it didn’t even occur to me that the proverbial rug was about to be pulled from under my feet.

Except, the health system can move fast when it feels a need.

Within the next few minutes, it became apparent that, if I had any sense, I was going nowhere except back in the scanner. Could it not wait till I came back? No, it really could not, apparently. Not quite the holiday I had in mind… and that upset me more than anything else.  I really need a break and I hate letting people down. And I don’t much fancy spending my birthday as the jam in the middle of the CT doughnut.

For the rest, it was more of a relief than anything. There actually is a reason for the pain and fatigue that has been bugging me all year. It is not just a stressed body and mind… or an ageing carer seeking attention, as one never-to-be-forgiven doctor suggested. The dark mass in my lung is real. We just need to find out now what it is. So, with a five minute margin, the journey north was cancelled.

There is a cruel irony to that, when we were, once again,  planning on meeting Mary Smith at Cairn Holy. And let us not forget the darker irony of Covid, which has made seeing a doctor at all both difficult and guilt-ridden. I wonder just how many, like me, have felt it unfair to ‘bother’ the doctor about ‘minor’ health problems until they got out of hand? As this has been going on for so long already, I also wonder if waiting till after the Scotland trip would really have made a great deal of difference…

Be that as it may, we did not go, the confused dog may not forgive me… and Scotland will still be beautiful whether we are there to see it or not.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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61 Responses to On hold…

  1. Oh, no, Sue! Sending prayers that you get the care you need {{hugs}}

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rugby843 says:

    Yes Scotland will be there. Take care if yourself first! 💓

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ouch that’s a bugger! Sorry to hear that, sending healing to you. Be well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. trentpmcd says:

    Wow, I’m sorry. Health is always first.

    Like

  5. Scotland will wait for you, Sue – Sending you the best of wishes that it all turns out okay for you 🤗❤️❤️❤️🤗

    Like

  6. Oh hell Sue! At least they are doing something. Take care. Thoughts are with you. ❤

    Like

  7. Jules says:

    Keeping good thoughts in my mind to send your way.
    Take a net break if you need.
    As others say – Take care of you first.
    And I believe your Pup will forgive you.

    Like

  8. Mary Smith says:

    And Cairn Holy will still be waiting – it clearly hasn’t been the right time to visit there for some reason.

    Like

  9. You are often in my thoughts. ❤ 🙏 ❤

    Like

  10. I’m so sorry to read this, Sue. Sending you light and love and strength for whatever lies ahead. Take good care of yourself. Scotland will wait for you. ❤

    Like

  11. Love and prayers go with you and Angels attend! ❤

    Like

  12. besonian says:

    So sorry to hear that Sue. Take care. Jeff.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. noelleg44 says:

    Oh, Sue, canceling your trip is not the worst thing – your health is MOST important. I do hope whatever is going on in your lung can be taken care of and soon. Thank heavens you DID go see someone about the pain and fatigue.
    Sending you much love, prayers and hope for a good outcome Hugs and xxxxx

    Like

  14. Darlene says:

    I would like to add my good wishes too. These things never come at a good time but at least it is being looked into. Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Like

  15. willowdot21 says:

    Oh! Sue , praying for you. Scotland will wait .

    Like

  16. Sadje says:

    Oh I hope it turns out okay. Prayers and hugs for you.

    Like

  17. Eliza Waters says:

    Oh, gosh, talk about the very last minute. Sending positive vibes your way… ❤ ❤

    Like

  18. [Insert four-letter word here] But it’s a good thing the health system is moving quickly. I’m thinking hopeful thoughts for you, Sue.

    Like

  19. Running Elk says:

    Not sure whether to be angry that it took them this long, or happy that they are moving quickly… :/
    Big hugs. ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  20. memadtwo says:

    Sending all best thoughts Sue. (K)

    Like

  21. Widdershins says:

    I’ve learned that when Doctors say, ‘it can’t wait’, it probably can’t … bugger that the trip had to be cancelled, love the ‘jam/CT doughnut’ comment … all digits crossed for not-too-scary results.

    Like

  22. dgkaye says:

    Oh Sue. I’m sending you a veil of healing light. Someone in the universe is playing dirty tricks. I hope they are as quick with this set of scans. Try and breathe and have a mindless weekend getting lost in something you love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Jennie says:

    My goodness. Who would have thought this would happen. Yes, the trip can wait, albeit a disappointment. Knowing there is an answer to your health problem is a good thing. Sending you my very best wishes, Sue. Please keep us posted. And, take Debby’s advice.

    Like

  24. Scary stuff. You are in my prayers!

    Like

  25. Jemima Pett says:

    Realised I’d missed something when Mary let the cat out of the bag on her second diary entry. Hope all turns out well for you. We’re thinking of you – yes, me and the guinea pigs. The GPs are particularly good at thinking to you in the early hours when nobody else is there to think of you. You have our support, always.

    Like

  26. I am so sorry Sue, and thank goodness they moved quickly and I hope that a few days on you have more information and clarity of what comes next. I have both you and Mary on my hit list when it comes to daily thoughts. I am sure the many others who love you both will be thinking of your too. I will check in from time to time…♥♥

    Like

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