I am offended.
I was always told it wasn’t nice to laugh at another’s misfortune. ‘Specially when they are s’pposed to be your best friend.
I always knew my two-legs needed more training.
Anyway, I’ll tell you about it and you can make your own mind up.
We woke up this morning to a frozen world. Everything was white and even the muddy lawn was crispy. She stood shivering on the doorstep while I went out to explore, but as it was still dark, I didn’t keep her there too long.
By the time I’d had my breakfast, though, the sun was just starting to come up and the sky was all pretty and pink. I thought she would like to stand at the door with me… but no, she just opened it and went in again to put another jumper on.
I do find that a bit confusing… You two-legses seem to spend a lot of time shaving your fur off, then complain when you get cold…
But anyway, back to my story.
I’d done my morning patrol around the garden and, as I’d just had breakfast, I thought I should have a nice drink of water.
Now, I always have water inside, where she keeps my bowls, but she also leaves me a big bowl of water just outside the big window-door, so I can have a drink wherever I am. And I like that water better… don’t know why, I just do.
So I stuck out my tongue for really good drink… and the water bit me!
Not just that… it was hard and my tongue stuck to it!
I looked in through the window a her… sort of hoping she’d come and rescue me. She had already seen what was happening and was laughing fit to burst!
I ask you, is that nice?
I’m just glad the camera thingy wasn’t anywhere close by… else it would probably have taken her even longer to come to my aid. Mind you, I’d unstuck by then and tapped the water with my paw to see what was going on.
“You daft dog, it’s only ice,” says she. Only ice? Isn’t it her duty to sort it out before it attacks me?
I had another couple of licks, and sure enough, it was just ice… though I have to say, it doesn’t taste as nice without the cream bit.
“It’s winter,” says she. Well, you know, I had noticed that…
“Never mind, girlie,” she says as she’s thawing out my bowl, ” you might have snow soon.”
That’s the one good thing I have to say about her… she always sees the bright side. But then she tells me she’s had snow already!
Honest, how mean can you get?
So, I may just ignore her for a bit.
Unless she brings home anything nice to eat.
Much love,
Ani xxx
P.S. Don’t forget to send me your
letters to Santa for my Advent Calendar!
Ani, the inimitable Small Dog, told of the trials of training her two-legs in ‘Notes from a Small Dog: Four Legs on Two‘. Their poetic adventures continued in ‘Laughter Lines: Life from the Tail End’. You can read Robbie Cheadle’s review of Doggerel HERE.
Doggerel: Life with the Small Dog
Available now in paperback and for Kindle
via Amazon UK, Amazon.com, Amazon.de and Amazon.fr
In her latest collection of poems, their daily life together takes centre stage. From the perfidy of humans who insist on bathing dogs, to the unpunctuality of writers at mealtimes, the relationship between two legs and four is explored in verse.
The Small Dog reveals her continuing fascination with chicken, tennis balls and the compulsion to re-write Shakespeare, while exposing her two legs’ misdemeanours to the world.
Too cute it hurts 💕💕💕💕
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Heh ❤
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Oh Ani 🥰🤣
Life is a series of discoveries for us all 😘
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Yeah, well, I discovered my two-legs is a meanie, laughing like that 😉
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Hugs to you 🤗🤗🤗
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And hairy hugs back 🙂
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Oh! Ani that two legs of yours needs whipping ( metaphorically speaking) into line…. Mind you mine are no where near as sensible as we are 💜💜 love Ruby 💜
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They never are… and they think they are in charge, Ruby! Honestly… 😉 ❤
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Poor deluded creatures, bless them Ani . We can only guide them. Love Ruby 💜💜💜
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It is hard work sometimes… 😉 ❤
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Indeed it is 💜💜🥴
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Oh, Ani! My favourite water dish is outside too but t doesn’t freeze here so I am OK. I won’t go outside if it snows. (It only happened once and it was awful!!) My human parents laughed at me then too. Your buddy, Dot!
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Hey Dot! I love the snow… she can’t keep me in when the white stuff falls. Luckily, she likes to walk in it too 🙂 🙂
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aw, I totally get your upset. don’t feel bad, the two-legs here who are young, also love to go outside in the fluffy cold white stuff and often get their tongues stuck on things.
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Well, if they are doing it on purpose, I s’ppose that’s fair enough. It really took me by surprise though!
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Your two legs shouldn’t have laughed at you, Ani… you could have been stuck there for ages…
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I know! I was really shocked! And she just gurgled…
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That can be dangerous, I hope her tongue was okay?
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It barely stuck… she was just so surprised 😉
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Oh Ani, I’m so sorry you got stuck. But tell me, why do you love the snow so much?
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Snow is magical… and you never know what you will find 🙂
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Ah. That explains a lot. My fourlegs usually come and go through a dog flap in the back door. But they all /want/ to go out through the front door. It’s special. We’ve taken to calling it the ‘magic’ door. I guess magic is where you find it. 🙂
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My dog flap is the back door 😉 I like her to keep it open all the time,but she shivers a lot this time of year… no fur, you see 😉
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Hmm…that does make things tricky. Perhaps she needs better fur? Sheepskin ugg boots and jacket would keep her nice and toasty. But you have to promise not to eat the boots!
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I NEVER eat footwear! I’m an old lady but I still have the shoe she gave me for my very own, when I was a puppy when I made that mistake. 😉
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-cough- Sorry, of course you don’t. So, nice shoe?
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Trainer …All leather 😉
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Mmm…a very generous gift, Ani. She must love you a lot. 🙂
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I think so 😉
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I agree it’s not nice to laugh at others specially small dogs.
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She shod know better….;)
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Definitely! Tut tut….
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😉
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Love it!
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🙂
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I love your best friend, Sue Vincent❤🌹😁
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So do I 🙂 ❤
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Poor Ani, being bitten by that nasty frozen water. It was a bit of a baptism of ice to venture out into a suddenly white world this week, but there’s no denying, it does look beautiful. 🙂
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It can look it as much as it likes… but it needn’t bite me 😉
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Indeed. Ice does smart a bit when it bites. 🙂
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It does!! 😀
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oooooch. 😦
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Poor Ani. I know from experience that is a very scary feeling having ones tongue stuck like that…
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My two legs says she remembers that too 😉
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I really enjoy the “Notes from a Small Dog” series.Such a wonderful, engaging little character!
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She is a menance to my reputation, Connie. And I love her to bits. 😉
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It was very rude of her to laugh when the water bit you, Ani. And I agree with you. It’s not as nice without the cream!
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I thought so too… I reckon she should have given me ice cream to make me feel better 😉
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This by far had me laughing so darn hard, I had to take a break and go to the restroom. LOL!
I can only imagine the voice that Ani cames with when I am reading these adorable tales… I can’t help but laugh and then I ant to hug the heck out of her.
Great stories!!!💖
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All true too…at least, from Ani’s perspective 😉 ❤
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I do love Ani! She is so smart!
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Far too smart sometimes 😉
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Hi Ani, Here’s wishing YOU lots of lovely snow, but I don ‘t think that your ‘two legs’ wants THAT MUCH! It’s a bit of a problem,I’d say.. x
.
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That depends if she gets a snow day to play out with me 😉 x
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Oh, Ani, how awful to have the water bite you like that – on the other hand I can see the funny side of it, too. Though I’m sure your two-legs didn’t mean to offend you 🙂
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She was very apologetic later 😉
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Did the apology include chicken?
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Might have done 😉
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Lol Ani, you’re lucky you didn’t rip your tongue. Please stick to the indoor water until the thaw. 🙂 ❤
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I’m well clear of the outdoor water! ❤
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Live and learn 🙂 ❤
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Even at my age 😉 ❤
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We never stop learning, and shouldn’t 🙂 xxx
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I hope not. It is too much fun <3xxx
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🙂 xxx
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Oh Ani, I’m sorry to say I laughed at your predicament also. In my my defense all I can say is that it wasn’t a nasty laugh, more of a rumbling sympathetic chuckle. Can you ever forgive me?
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That depends. How are you with tennis ball duty? 😉
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Prompt and trustworthy. 😀
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That’ll do 😉
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Phew! 🙂
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That was mean of her to laugh. I told Mummy so too, because she laughed when she read your post. Bad humans. Glad you weren’t stuck for long. Hope she gave you something nice afterwards to make up for laughing at you. Lots of licks, Lilie
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I knew you would understand, Lilie. It ended well though…with treats 😉
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That’s good. Lots of licks, Lilie
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I hopes your tongue is okay, Ani, much paw love, Dante the Dawg. xxx
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It is…but it had me worried for a moment, Dante 😉 xxx
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Take care, my friend. xxx
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Ani, i am feeling sorry for you too. What experiences ice without any smell, and cold but not as hell. 😉 Sharpen your claws for the next walkout. There will be ice on the ways too. Best wishes, with love! Michael
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She wants to cut my claws… says I sound like a horse on the wooden floors 😉
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Lol. If she really will do, she has to buy you nice shoes. 😉
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No thank you! Antlers are bad enoug 😉
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Antlers???? Lol Hope we will see an image of you wearing this fabulous headgems.
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Hmmm….
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😉
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Ani, see if you can find a spider, a big one and herd it inside.
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The two-legs keeps herding them out 😉
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