Accident prone…

Today I kicked the bucket
(And for all my US friends,
This is a euphemism
For the point at which life ends).

It wasn’t done on purpose…
Just a half-bipedal fail,
As I got out of the shower
And the toe encountered pail.

I may have squealed a little,
Or perhaps I may have cursed,
But thinking little of it
Thought the pail had come off worst.

It wasn’t till much later,
When the face and hair were done,
That I noticed to my horror
That the pail had fairly won.

As I glanced down I noted
Pooling red around my toe
Suggesting it had been somewhere
Where no toe ought to go.

The nail was looking iffy,
Blood was oozing cherry-red,
It hadn’t started hurting,
But it would…take that as read.

So, did I grab the first aid kit
And seek to stem the flow?
And wrap it up in dressings,
As I should? The answer’s no.

Because I am a housewife
With my instincts to the fore,
The first thing that I thought to do
Was mop the bloody floor.

The more I mopped, the more it bled,
So, housewives, please take heed…
Sometimes you really should come first
Despite ‘rules’ self-decreed.

Today I kicked the bucket,
But my ego came off worst…
Where toes and housework are concerned,
From now on… I come first!

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
This entry was posted in Humour, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Accident prone…

  1. scifihammy says:

    haha Excellent poem. 😀

    Like

  2. Patty says:

    Reblogged this on Campbells World and commented:
    YAY!
    Most Excellent poem and post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ouch! Hope your toe isn’t too much of a mess.

    Like

  4. Colline says:

    Ouch! I enjoyed reading your poem – good way to start the day with a smile.

    Like

  5. TanGental says:

    it’s toe joke…

    Like

  6. Ritu says:

    Oh Sue! Fantastic poem and I sympathise with you and your pain! My poor baby toe has often kicked an assortment of things due to my inherent clumsiness….

    Like

  7. ksbeth says:

    love your poem and how you still maintained a sense of humor about it – hope your toe is better soon

    Like

  8. We use that term over here too 🙂 So glad it was an actual bucket 😉

    Like

  9. Patty says:

    Hi.

    This was a wonderful post.

    Shared it around and reblogged it at campbellsworld too.

    Like

  10. trentpmcd says:

    Ouch! As far as us Americans knowning the term, we all watched Bugs Bunny: https://youtu.be/LKPOhFZuFQg

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “Kicking the bucket” is a common term here in the States. Hence the other common term, “The Bucket List”.

    Like

  12. Darlene says:

    In Canada, I remember my dad using the term “kicked the bucket” a lot. So I think it is a universal idiom, at least in English speaking countries. I loved your poem and I do hope you didn’t suffer too much. I’m also glad you just kicked a bucket and didn’t actually “kick the bucket”.

    Like

  13. Brightened my day!

    Like

  14. robbiecheadle says:

    I am sorry to read about your injured toe, Sue, but I did enjoy your poem very much.

    Like

  15. Stubbed toes are greatly underrated for degrees of pain! I broke my big toe diving into a pool with my toes pointed. Moral? Don’t DO that. I’ve walked into table legs, chairs, door sills, rocks, and many, many dogs. The dogs don’t hurt as much, but the fall when you bash your head hurts plenty!

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      Sounds like me.. I am pretty accident prone. Always have been. Broke my leg once on the way home from having the cast removed from havin broken it on a safety mat 😉

      Like

  16. Oh, no! Lovely poem but I hope you are are all right. 💜

    Like

  17. Widdershins says:

    I do understand that part of your brain that wanted to clean up the blood. I’m sure it has the ability to treble its volume for every second it’s outside our bodies. 🙂 … on the other hand, (or toe) OUCH!!!

    Like

  18. Jennie says:

    Of course you wanted to clean up the blood first! Sigh! How is your toe?

    Like

  19. dgkaye says:

    This was fun Sue, but not the toe part, lol. Ouchee that had to smart 🙂 xx

    Like

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