Accident prone…

Posted on August 6, 2018 by Sue Vincent

Today I kicked the bucket
(And for all my US friends,
This is a euphemism
For the point at which life ends).

It wasn’t done on purpose…
Just a half-bipedal fail,
As I got out of the shower
And the toe encountered pail.

I may have squealed a little,
Or perhaps I may have cursed,
But thinking little of it
Thought the pail had come off worst.

It wasn’t till much later,
When the face and hair were done,
That I noticed to my horror
That the pail had fairly won.

As I glanced down I noted
Pooling red around my toe
Suggesting it had been somewhere
Where no toe ought to go.

The nail was looking iffy,
Blood was oozing cherry-red,
It hadn’t started hurting,
But it would…take that as read.

So, did I grab the first aid kit
And seek to stem the flow?
And wrap it up in dressings,
As I should? The answer’s no.

Because I am a housewife
With my instincts to the fore,
The first thing that I thought to do
Was mop the bloody floor.

The more I mopped, the more it bled,
So, housewives, please take heed…
Sometimes you really should come first
Despite ‘rules’ self-decreed.

Today I kicked the bucket,
But my ego came off worst…
Where toes and housework are concerned,
From now on… I come first!

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
This entry was posted in Humour, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Accident prone…

  1. scifihammy says:
    August 6, 2018 at 12:31

    haha Excellent poem. 😀

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  2. Patty says:
    August 6, 2018 at 12:32

    Reblogged this on Campbells World and commented:
    YAY!
    Most Excellent poem and post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Victoria Zigler (@VictoriaZigler) says:
    August 6, 2018 at 12:42

    Ouch! Hope your toe isn’t too much of a mess.

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  4. Colline says:
    August 6, 2018 at 12:49

    Ouch! I enjoyed reading your poem – good way to start the day with a smile.

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  5. TanGental says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:13

    it’s toe joke…

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  6. Ritu says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:35

    Oh Sue! Fantastic poem and I sympathise with you and your pain! My poor baby toe has often kicked an assortment of things due to my inherent clumsiness….

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  7. ksbeth says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:48

    love your poem and how you still maintained a sense of humor about it – hope your toe is better soon

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  8. Alethea Kehas says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:49

    We use that term over here too 🙂 So glad it was an actual bucket 😉

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  9. Patty says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:51

    Hi.

    This was a wonderful post.

    Shared it around and reblogged it at campbellsworld too.

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  10. trentpmcd says:
    August 6, 2018 at 13:53

    Ouch! As far as us Americans knowning the term, we all watched Bugs Bunny: https://youtu.be/LKPOhFZuFQg

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. silverapplequeen says:
    August 6, 2018 at 15:24

    “Kicking the bucket” is a common term here in the States. Hence the other common term, “The Bucket List”.

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  12. Darlene says:
    August 6, 2018 at 16:17

    In Canada, I remember my dad using the term “kicked the bucket” a lot. So I think it is a universal idiom, at least in English speaking countries. I loved your poem and I do hope you didn’t suffer too much. I’m also glad you just kicked a bucket and didn’t actually “kick the bucket”.

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  13. trishthetrout says:
    August 6, 2018 at 17:54

    Brightened my day!

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  14. robbiecheadle says:
    August 6, 2018 at 18:25

    I am sorry to read about your injured toe, Sue, but I did enjoy your poem very much.

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  16. Marilyn Armstrong says:
    August 6, 2018 at 21:55

    Stubbed toes are greatly underrated for degrees of pain! I broke my big toe diving into a pool with my toes pointed. Moral? Don’t DO that. I’ve walked into table legs, chairs, door sills, rocks, and many, many dogs. The dogs don’t hurt as much, but the fall when you bash your head hurts plenty!

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    • Sue Vincent says:
      August 6, 2018 at 22:20

      Sounds like me.. I am pretty accident prone. Always have been. Broke my leg once on the way home from having the cast removed from havin broken it on a safety mat 😉

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  17. Colleen Chesebro says:
    August 7, 2018 at 00:43

    Oh, no! Lovely poem but I hope you are are all right. 💜

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  18. Widdershins says:
    August 8, 2018 at 00:04

    I do understand that part of your brain that wanted to clean up the blood. I’m sure it has the ability to treble its volume for every second it’s outside our bodies. 🙂 … on the other hand, (or toe) OUCH!!!

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  19. Jennie says:
    August 8, 2018 at 01:04

    Of course you wanted to clean up the blood first! Sigh! How is your toe?

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  20. dgkaye says:
    August 8, 2018 at 01:46

    This was fun Sue, but not the toe part, lol. Ouchee that had to smart 🙂 xx

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