I am not having a good week. The two-legs has gone wonky again…all this gallivanting, I’ll bet. Serves her right, if you ask me…she’s only herself to blame.
She went away at the weekend. Again. Abandoned me…again. Packed me up, bag, leash and food supply…a major consideration…and sent me off to play with my friends.
That’s okay. Old Gooch was there when they brought me home as a pup, so I’ve known her a long time. And her friend Hardy comes to play sometimes when his two-legses go away… so it is good to go and visit them and their little two-legses. I like seeing Gooch an co. No point in denying that. Normally.
I get walks with Gooch and Hardy… we get to play together, which is fun. What I didn’t expect was the sneaky treachery.
“I’ve been trying to bath her,” said my two-legs to theirs. “I can’t manage it on my own though…not without getting in there with her.” They all laughed… I laughed too. Nice to know I’ve finally won that battle. They talked about other stuff, then finally let me get in the car and go see the gang.
Even though I did hear she’d gone where there was snow and hares and stuff…which I thought was a bit mean without me… all was going well. Or so I thought… till I was tricked and cornered by the tall two-legs. They thought they would be nice. Do her a favour and save her old bones from having to chase me.
So they bathed me.
Even worse, it wasn’t the quick shampoo and rinse that is all she manages. Oh no…they did a really thorough job. Soap everywhere… even my head! She never manages that!
So when they finally took me home, I smelled like a ruddy posy!
Now, okay… it got me extra-close snuggles, ’cause she likes the smell of clean dog. She’d best not get too used to it though! But she took advantage and cleaned my ears while she had me there. Then, just too top it off, she did the unthinkable…
She phoned the vet.
So now I am waiting, with the Paw of Damocles hanging over me. Waiting to see what the horrible vet is going to do to me this time. I bet they’ll want to stick needles in me again too. And she’ll expect me to behave…
Now, I trust my two-legs. I know she loves me. I know she’s only doing what she thinks is best. But her idea of what’s best and mine don’t always meet in the middle. Mine does not include soap suds, vets or needles. Hers doesn’t include enough chicken.
It is one of the problems with authority. And it is my own fault, I s’ppose. Give them a crumb and they take the whole biscuit. I let her think she was in charge. Now she thinks she really is!
Well, we’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?