Frankly, there is no doing anything with her today. It doesn’t take much to make her happy… give her an ice-cream, a five minute break from tennis-ball-throwing or a whiff of heather and she’s content. Not that she is getting any of those…. and not that she should have anything much to be happy about at present. She’s wandering around looking like a sunburnt mole again…and she has all week.
Her eyes are all hidden in the pink, puffy stuff she calls skin. Well, when I say all, I mean both of them. Even she is not weird enough to have more than two, though you would think she must have some in the back of her head sometimes…’specially when the fridge is open… You know, if she wanted that cheese, you’d think she’d have eaten it by now…
She keeps going in the fridge, though. Not for cheese…just for ice pack thingys to stick on her eyes. And she even knows what I’m up to when she has both eyes covered! Wonder if she has a four-legged sense of smell, a proper one, not the normal two-leg nose? Mind, I probably shouldn’t mention noses… the eyes are bad enough and she gets a bit touchy.
So, what with the weather warming up a bit and her raiding the fridge all the time, I thought that’s what she was talking about when she was gloating about being cool. But no… I did some ‘vestigating and found someone with a cat had called her a ‘cool kid’.
Well… if she’s cool (apart from the ice packs) I’ll eat my tennis ball! As for ‘kid’…who is she kidding? More of a nanny…
Still, it made her smile (which just hid her eyes even more…) so I suppose I’ll stop laughing sometime soon. If she remembers we ran out of treats.
She says it is my own fault and that I’ll get fat. I say she was the one who left the whole, new pack of treats out when she went for a shower. If she’d opened them for me, I would probably only taken the one…or two… but with no thumbs and only teeth to work with, it got a bit messy, so I thought I should clean up. Just to help, you know.
Housework is good for burning fat, she says, so I cleaned up really well. I was just glad the smoke alarm didn’t go off! She shouldn’t be eating that cheese anyway…
So there’s her growling at me…and me thinking I’d done a good job. She seems to think I didn’t clean up well enough though, ’cause she’s getting the hoover-monster out. It is all a matter of
pursep perse how you look at it.
I’d better go hide.