Notes from a Small Dog – Halloween horrors

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We’re not talking.

I know, I should be more patient with her…she’s only a two-legs after all, but honestly…

First she goes off, then comes back…only to go off again. Then, when she does come back, she’s all at sixes and sevens, whatever they are, and she’s running out when she should be in and home when she should be out and then out for ages and ages. Not good enough. You just can’t get the two-legses these days.

When she finally decides to start behaving a bit, instead of nice cuddles and longer walks…just by way of compensation, you understand… she sniffs at me and starts muttering about baths. She won’t try that again in a hurry though… I can make enough mess with the water without her being dragged in too πŸ˜‰

Then she tried to cut my nails. Honest! Maybe she’d like to paint them silly colours like hers too? Still, she said some very strange words and gave up after a bit. Says it’s a two-two-legs job. Which, I believe, makes it a four-legs job so she can just leave well alone.

That’s just the normal sort of stuff I have to put up with. But then she didn’t come home till after dark…and she never does that. Well, not for ages. Or unless she’s fetching the ball-guy… but she came back without him. And I was all excited too… had the balls lined up and everything. She claims it isn’t her fault but the clock’s and that she wouldn’t alter the clock unless she had to. Don’t see why she should…she never looks at it anyway. But no, she says, They say the clocks have to go back so it’ll be darker longer if she’s late. So, instead of taking responsibility, she’s just blaming it all on inanimate objects instead.

I tell you, she’s lost it.

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That was all bad enough, but then, when it was dark and she was out, there were Things walking around! Knocking at the door… making funny noises and looking all white and ghoulish! She called it Halloween and said she had to go see her grandpup turn into a pumpkin. A likely story. And she left me all alone… and that’s when I saw the bones.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for bones in the normal sort of way, but I’m not keen on them walking around, you know? Mine tend to stay where I put ’em… and it worried me a bit. Skellingtons, she called them.

Bones are okay. Chasing things is okay. But I’m not sure I want to chase bones. It’s not natural!

Anyway, she seemed to be disappointed that she’d missed ’em. Said she’d bought chocolate for them. I didn’t know bones ate chocolate!

So she said she’d have to dispose of the chocolate herself. I considered it only fair that she share, under the circumstances. But no. ‘Not allowed’ was all I got. Then, just to add to the unfairness, she put onions and garlic with the chicken she’d bought… and said I couldn’t have that either! I mean, okay, she’d bought me some chicken too, but how am I supposed to look after her if she won’t let me keep her calories down?

So, we’re not speaking. Well, she is, but I’m not.

I thought I’d show her just how upset I am. I’d be quiet as a mouse. I wouldn’t keep fetching her the ball… and I wouldn’t offer to help her with her dinner either! That’d teach her!dog-dawn-001

But do you know… all she said was that I’d been such a good girlie!

I despair of her, I really do.

Much love,

Ani xxx

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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113 Responses to Notes from a Small Dog – Halloween horrors

  1. What a good girl! She’s so patient with her imperfect human. But dogs are better than people and she will always forgive you because she is all love and doesn’t know how to be anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You poor put upon puppy, Perhaps your two legs need retraining.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    Oh Ani…. poor you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this dog….what a beautiful face, and may all animals rule:)

    Like

  5. She’s so sweet. πŸ™‚

    Like

  6. Hold your ground, Ani. Mom took me to my Cheers bar on Halloween (no costumes, which I actually suspected was likely to happen). She made me wait so long before we actually got out the door that, once we were there, I played with everybody but her. It’s a tough job, but somebody needs to “tough love” these two-legs into shape.

    I mean, how complicated can it be to walk out a door as soon as she puts on my halter? I’m over this “turn off the lights – where is my purse – where did I put the keys – did I lock the back door” nonsense.
    Woof! Tink

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Poor you. Our humans are a bit too complex for my liking. We had chicken yesterday, but He cooked it. I got a bit, but no dribbles! She always gives me dribbles. And pineapple! I got none of that either. It’s odd here. Not so many walks, and He’s sleeping at the other end, but they aren’t cross with each other. I’m staying close to Her at night though. And during the day. Maggie xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sue Vincent says:

      No dribbles? He needs more training, Maggie πŸ˜‰ They are an odd lot all round, you know. .they overcomplicate stuff that should be simple…then wonder why we don’t understand… Much love, Ani xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. jenanita01 says:

    You are not convincing anybody, Ani. You could no more ignore your two legs than fly to the moon!

    Like

  9. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    More notes from a small dog who finds the skellingtons at Halloween a complete mystery.. she is showing her displeasure too with not being able to indulge in the left over chocolate.. things are tense in the household…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah Ani, if only we spoke dog better….

    Like

  11. acflory says:

    Awww…Ani. It’s so unfair isn’t it? My days are getting longer but /she/ locks me in after dinner just when the possums come out to play. I don’t know why she keeps saying ‘shhhh!’ all the time. Anyway, I know just how you feel. Love, Mogi

    Liked by 1 person

  12. NEVER let them cut your nails! I don’t let Annabelle anywhere near my paws. Millie xx

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Bernadette says:

    So that’s what they really think? And here I have been extolling dog’s unconditional love all these years.

    Like

  14. vronlacroix says:

    I love your dog stories, and your humour.

    Like

  15. susieshy45 says:

    I laughed and laughed and laughed. Sorry, Ani but your cute face made me laugh- by the way, have you considered writing as a profession- you write well Ani – something like Ani’s woes ??
    Susie

    Like

  16. mistybooks says:

    Hi Ani. I got a couple of books out too, but Dave put his name on the cover. We ought to join a union (whatever that is!)
    Love Misty

    Like

  17. noelleg44 says:

    A lot of that stuff she won’t let you eat is dangerous for you Ani! She is taking care of you. I’m glad to see you wern’t really scared by those bones. Maybe next year she can dress you up and take you around with the grandpup. People here do that a lot! I can’t see you as a pumpkin, though.

    Like

  18. The silent treatment…so sorry it didn’t work for you, Ani. ☺

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  19. Skellingtons! Ha ha. Poor Ani. And poor Sue, having to eat all that chocolate by herself. πŸ˜€

    Like

  20. Mary Smith says:

    Oh, Ani, she can be a cruel woman sometimes – but she does love you πŸ™‚

    Like

  21. willowdot21 says:

    Sue that is so lovely, I dare not let Ruby see this she has been moaning about, Halloween, and time changes . We need to watch out we could have a rebellion on our hands!!!;

    Like

  22. Oh, Ani, didn’t she even give you a bit of cheese to go with your chicken?
    I hope you have got over the walking bones thing now too! πŸ™‚

    Like

  23. Anonymous says:

    LOL Ani, you crack me up, ‘chasing bones’. I love your little rants! Next time ask for a little cheese with that whine, er, um, I mean chicken. πŸ™‚ ❀

    Like

  24. dgkaye says:

    Lol Ani, you’re too cute, ‘not used to chasing bones’. Next time ask for a little cheese to go with that whine, er, um, I mean chicken. πŸ™‚ xo

    Like

  25. Helen Jones says:

    I do love Ani’s stories, Sue, and her lovely doggy face 😊

    Like

  26. Widdershins says:

    Sometimes ‘oomins are incomprehensible. πŸ™‚

    Like

  27. adeleulnais says:

    Hi Ani, Dante here. Yep, the strangely weird creatures came to our door too but my two leggeds were in and they answered the door! They asked them to do jokes they laughed. I didn`t see the funny side. They got candy, which I`m never allowed. hmmph. Sulked all night but all I got was “what a good boy too.” Will this madness never end. Much paw love, Dante.

    Like

  28. Walking bones, Ani? Whatever next? I hope my dog biscuits don’t all of a sudden start running away from me. Could be a good game, but I’d rather chase the squirrels.
    I didn’t mind the funny looking two-legs on Monday night, but I do wish they could put a stop to all these loud bangs going off when it gets dark. Why has nobody invented us dogs headphones yet?
    Stay safe and play some games tomorrow night. I’ve already got lots planned for my two-legs.
    Lots of tail wags,
    Toby
    xx

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I’ve yet to meet a squirrel…she never points them out to me, Toby. Always just tells me when I’ve missed them… she’s mean like that.
      Hope you don’t get disturbed too much tomorrow. Mine says she’ll be playing music louder than usual πŸ˜‰
      Much love, Ani xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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