Spare a thought for the vampire in summer,
For, while everyone else seeks the sun,
He must hide in the darkness and shadow
And from errant sunbeams must run.
While the sunbathers tan to perfection.
Going golden and brown as a bun,
He must cover his skin with protection
And remain looking pale…underdone.
So, while others may cast off their clothing,
And bathe in the rays of the light,
He hides in a curtain-closed coffin
And twiddles his thumbs until night.
He’ll never don Speedos and frolic,
Or swim in the sea like an eel.
No wonder when he sees bikinis
His only thought is his next meal!
I must say that I’d never considered
The plight of the vampire before.
I assumed, as he lay in his coffin,
He’d probably just sleep and snore.
But with these new pills I’ve been given
My sympathies took a new turn…
‘Cause unless I behave like the vampire
In sunlight I’ll blister and burn.
Which is typical now we’ve a heatwave,
With sunshine and grass to be mown,
And while everyone’s loving the weather
I’m stuck in the dark on my own.
I’ve another two weeks of this torture,
And meanwhile the daylight I’ll shun,
I’ve got between sunset and sunrise
To take the dog out for her run.
I do wonder sometimes at treatments
We’re offered to make us feel well;
While they might cure the more acute problem,
Too often they’ll put us through hell.
But I will not be drowning my sorrows
Though a nice glass of red would be good…
‘Cause the wine glass was also forbidden…
I am not at all pleased… I want blood!
Marvellous if only the prompt was quite so exsanguinating
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It could be worse… I might have to go vegetarian too 😉
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Agh horrors
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I know;)
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Sue, this is a little bizarre. As I read this one, I’m hearing Connie Francis singing, “Where The Boys Are”.
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I suppose it would almost fit the tune, Garry 😀
I haven’t heard of Connie Francis for years…
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Glad it will only be for two weeks, Sue and hope it cures whatever you were prescribed them for!
I also hope (temporarily) for less sunshine in your neck of the woods!
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I hope so too, Jaye…on both counts 🙂
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lol! I’ve not considered the plight of our blood loving friends before – I’d like to feel sorry for them but, they’re often a pain in the neck.
Sorry to hear you’re suffering their woes as well though – I hope you get well soon. At least it;s cloudy and raining today.
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The weather this weekend was pretty kind to me 😉
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Poor you, Sue. That’s the pills you’ve been prescribed then – how awful. At least it’s not warm and sunny today, so I hope you get outside and enjoy some fresh air. Great poem though, and I love the analogy with vampires – very appropriate. Sometimes I think I must have a bit of vampire in me, being averse to hot sunny weather! Hope you’re feeling better soon. 🙂
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I don’t do hot and sunny at the best of times. 😉 But we got to see Chetwode church over the weekend… in the rain 🙂
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Oh wonderful! 😊 Chetwode church is lovely. Did you see that gorgeous stained glass window that Henry III gave them? It’s very special. And I can’t bear hot and sunny weather either. I hated last summer.
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The one with his coat of arms at the bottom? Oh yes! Wonderful to see that!
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That’s the one – the big lancet to the right of the altar. I can’t take my eyes off it when I’m in there. It’s so beautiful and it’s intact, just as it was in 13thC. That kind of thing is quite rare. 😊
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Very rare..It is one of the oldest I’ve seend…and in such good condition too. Thank goodnes Cromwell’s lot didn’t take it out!
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Absolutely. It escaped the senseless destruction. I think it’s amazing that we see it today pretty much as the locals saw it in 13th Century. 😊
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I was really impressed by this little church…there is so much in there!
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…sorry – in the car. Meant ‘special’… 😁
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😀
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Yeah, I hate medicine that tells you to avoid sunlight, but I guess I never thought of myself as being like a vampire. That may change 😉
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There is a first time for everything 😉
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Excellent poem, Sue. From beginning to end, it was such a fun read! 😊
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Thank, Beckie 🙂
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Oooh, I know this feeling. Suuuuucks. I would suggest video games or a good book if you’re into that, but I think you know yourself better than most people know themselves!
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The good old British weather was obliging over the weekend 😉
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord Blog Magazine and commented:
Sue Vincent on the plight of the vampire during the summer, and the curse of the cure that makes one hide from the light….very funny and true…
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Clever. 😉
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Thanks, Bela 🙂
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You write poetry SO WELL, whether it be comedy or tragedy, light or dark. This one is SPOOKTACULAR, even though it was inspired by your own plight. I hope the pills work for what’s intended, and then you can once more enjoy the light. xo
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So do I…and thank you 😀 x
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I too am a vampire — from birth, I should add. Married to a man who used to just love lying in the sun for hours at a time. Our days were never together because put ME in that sun and you’d have to take me to the local burn unit.
Are you on the medication forever or is it just temporary? I hope temporary, though with your coloring, I’m surprised you were ever really “good” in the sun. Mostly, as a kid, I was always covered with blisters and peeling skin. Who knew how dangerous it was? They hadn’t invented sunblock yet!
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Temporary, thank goodness!
I used to burn and peel too, without much provocation. I don’t these days, thank goodness!
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This is brilliant Sue , typical isn’t it! I hope they do the trick soon and you can have a nice glass of wine in the sun 💜💜💜
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Thanks, Willow…me too! 😉 xx
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😉🙋
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Hilarious Sue, despite my sympathies for your plight. 🙂 ❤
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I know you for a sun lover, Debby… you can have it all at the moment 😉 x
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LOLLLLLLLLL ❤
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😀 ❤
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Oh dear. Sue, you poor thing. You’re not starting to talk with a strange psuedo-eastern European accent, are you?
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That might explain some of the words I have been coming out with 😉
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Oh no. No sun? No wine? You’ll just have to settle for a good book on the couch. I hope your two weeks aren’t too bad and the pills cure whatever ails you. ❤
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Thanks, Diana… so do I! I managed a bit of an outing in the rain, though 🙂 x
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No fun at all, but at least it is temporary, thank goodness!
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Yes, I couldn’t be doing with this for too long with a garden to redesign!
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Awesome poem, not so awesome affliction. I raise a glass of…coffee in your direction. -hugs-
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Coffee, I am allowed 😉 No-one takes my coffee from me 😉
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-hugs- cold day in hell before I give up coffee too.
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Yep 🙂
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😀
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Interesting twist on the Vampire genre. I was thinking something different when I started reading. Be well.
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Thanks, Michele…I could wish you had been right 😉
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Reblogged this on Serendipity Seeking Intelligent Life on Earth and commented:
As our temperature decided to go all the way up to hot and muggy today, this reminded me of my long, painful history of burns and blisters. Ah, the joys of summer at the beach before they invented sunscreen!
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Good point. I like that bit in True Blood where the Norwegian vampire is suddenly able to withstand sunlight, and so he takes a deckchair to the Arctic circle and sits there in the middle of the ice reading a book! And yeah, I too am a vampire.
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I am not familiar with True Blood, I’m afraid.
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