I’m too tired to write, ’cause I had a lie-in,
You might think that the two wouldn’t mix,
But after a weekend from Hell with the pond
I was ready for crossing the Styx.
There was panic on Saturday morning to start,
With my son calling up on the phone,
“You had better get down here, it’s emptied itself
And I can’t sort it out on my own.”
Now, on Friday I’d cleaned out the pond pump again
And the waterfall, just for good measure.
It’s not all that long since the filter was done,
We could do it again at our leisure.
But no, the pond emptied, the level went down
With the fish having no place to swim
Some two thousand gallons of water had gone,
Disappeared in thin air, on a whim.
The irises, big clumps as wide as a tree
Had all toppled and floated adrift…
A nice gentle weekend? I’d no chance at all
So I did feel a tiny bit miffed.
It didn’t take long to establish the cause
For a quick bit of investigation
Revealed that the filter was solidly blocked,
It was all overflowing…damnation.
“We must take it apart, then give it a good clean,
Reassemble and hope it is working.”
We both donned rubber gloves, like a surgical team,
And got stuck into work without shirking.
We baled out the sump and then rescued the bits
That were floating where they shouldn’t oughta,
But then it got messy, we dived in the sludge
And were up to our elbows in water.
I had screamed when the first leech had nibbled my glove,
By the tenth I was weeping and shaking,
My son looked in horror, could not understand
All the fuss that his mother was making.
Until he saw leeches, four inches and more…
And the one that had blatantly fed…
So I whimpered my way through th epond=cleaning lark
Pretty certain I’d rather be dead.
We hauled up the irises, onto the deck,
They had leeches all over them too…
By this time my throat from the screaming is sore,
But we did what we needed to do.
It had taken all day, and the next day as well
To restore the pond back to its best.
“You can sleep late tomorrow,” my son kindly said,
“‘Cause I think you could do with a rest!”
So I’d turned the alarms off and settled to sleep
And I still woke at six, stiff and sore,
But I snuggled back in, while I doggedly tried
To relax so I’d sleep a bit more.
I gave up in the end. We stood over the pond
Where the pair of us had duly slaved.
Said my son, as we watched the fish happily play,
“Yeah, but look at the lives that we saved.”
And that was a good point, for they come to our call,
“You’re responsible for what you tame.”
You cannot leave a friend in distress, skin or scale…
And we know every creature by name.
But I’m thankful it’s Monday, I might get a rest,
No more bent over double in sludge,
And the next time he says, “You can have a lie-in,”
You can be ruddy sure I won’t budge!