Following on from posts One and Two:
“Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free
to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?”
Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Last spring when we went into lockdown and we were encouraged not to burden our doctors, I did not take my concerns to the surgery… and lost six months of potentially treating a now untreatable cancer. Now we are back in lockdown again, with the unconvincing prospect of everything being alright again once the vaccine has been fully distributed. We might, suggest the government, if enough people have the vaccine, even be able to begin lifting restrictions in mid-March.
At my last appointment on New Year’s Eve, the oncologist gave me three to six months. It is, I know, just a ‘guesstimate’ based on experience. He could be wrong, it might be longer… but it could equally be even less. The thing is, with this type of cancer, the treatments stop working quite suddenly and the tumours grow back quickly. There may be a case for more chemo, but that would be a rough journey without guaranteed results. There may be alternative therapies to try… but they are alternative for a reason and, like mainstream medicines, do not work consistently for everyone. And my heart, which has been constantly beating at least twice its normal speed since the collapse, could now give out at any point between here and the nebulous ‘then’.
March might be a tad too late for me.
And that is just a start on rolling back restrictions. There’s the whole vaccine thing to come into play too. Sufficient doses have been purchased… but not yet delivered. Some need further quality control checks… others are waiting to be put into the vials that are in such short supply. No guarantees appear to be in place about delivery times.
And then you obviously have to wait your turn, based upon pre-determined vulnerability and, one assumes, your perceived usefulness and/or the likelihood of catching and transmitting the virus to the vulnerable. There are nine high-priority groups, covering about thirty million people. The higher group into which you fit, the quicker you will be offered the vaccine, but even with it, you will still be required to wear a face-covering and practise social distancing… because you may still get the virus and may still transmit it to others. The vaccine is not going to mean an instant release from COVID jail.
Just the timescales alone mean that offering the vaccination to a whole population is going to take a while. Then there are the logistics of actually delivering the vaccine and ensuring the right numbers of appointments can be booked, filled and supplied… and getting the estimates on take-up right etc, etc…
But there is a really helpful calculator online that gives you an estimate, based on current predictions of take-up rate and actual vaccinations carried out per day. So, of course, I tried it.
First I put in just my own details, finding that my place in the queue would be somewhere between half a million and four and a half million (roughly) down the line. According to their figures, that would mean I should be vaccinated and ‘fully protected’ some time between the end of March and April. That is also assuming there is only a 70% uptake from a population that has been taught to fear the virus and to believe that the vaccine offers the best way out of this imprisoned lifestyle… and that the vaccine can be delivered on a daily basis in high enough quantities to meet the demand.
Again, the dates mean it will probably come a bit late for me and for the thousands of other terminally ill patients currently facing the prospect of dying without their nearest and dearest able to support them properly… and also for those who are about to lose their loved ones to terminal illnesses without the chance of saying decent goodbyes, which always makes the loss and the grieving so much harder. COVID had already closed all the organised support groups and stopped all the additional therapies offered to help get through these hard months. Too many are having to face this final journey alone… and not everyone is equipped or able to use the various technologies that at least let you see people through a screen. Nor is it quite the same.
But looked at from a purely practical point of view, why waste a vaccine of someone who is dying anyway? Just lock us away in our shielded homes from every joy that makes life worth living… from the hugs, the smiles, the warmth of another human being’s presence, the landscapes and horizons… After all, we will be dead soon and unable to complain.
But I was curious to see why there was such a wide gap in the figures and, being suspicious, reset everything on the calculator except my age to the default positions. I then checked when the vaccine would be offered to a care home worker…. and the difference between that figure and when it would be offered to a family/unpaid carer is stark and horrifyingly illustrates how little family carers are valued by the system. It was about here that I went from simply annoyed to really blowing a fuse…
This same system is saved the cost of the NHS, every non-covid, year by family/unpaid carers. They pick up the slack the system simply could not cope with. There are now an estimated 13.6 million unpaid carers in the UK… many of whom are carers seven days a week, day and night, with minimal breaks or training, often little or no support and no health and safety protection. And those are just the ones we know about. There are many others.
Imagine if the country actually had to pay them for what they do… finding the money for that on top of everything else. And yet, while the care home worker will be ‘fully protected’ by the end of March, the family carer has to wait until the end of September… and who knows what could interrupt the vaccination schedule in those six extra months?
The family carer comes almost nineteen million places behind the paid care home worker in the queue. The only justification for that is that the care home worker may come into contact with other vulnerable people. But what about the mother who cares for the rest of her family… her own children, parents and grandparents, as well as holding down a job? For that is often the case. Or the child who supports physically or mentally challenged parents and does the caring for the elders that they would normally do, on top of being a child themselves? Contact with multiple vulnerable people is not limited to front line workers.
COVID, care and cancer. The relationship between them and how it has been handled is telling. “How a society treats its most vulnerable is always the measure of its humanity.” This quote can be found on the UK government’s website, attributed to one of the UK Ambassadors speaking to the United Nations.
Perhaps we might want to take note…
I work at an organization where the caregivers are our backbone. Without caregivers, there would be no reason for our existence. Everyone working there will have access to the vaccine in 20 days.
What is very distressing — more so to you and for good reason — is the news that you might have so little time left. I can’t imagine the blog-o-sphere without you.
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I doubt if the country here would kee functioning without its caregivers… they enable so many voices.
As to time… I just want enough freedom to be able to spend what’s left with the people and places I love.
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There are prayers from many people that you get your wish to have quality time with the people and places you love,
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And those prayers and thoughts can work miracles. I saw that with my son. x
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So mote it be!
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It’s a sobering thought…
At the end of the day everyone is deserving, but equally, some more so than others, in this current climate.
But that difference between paid and unpaid carers… Stark and truly upsetting. 😞
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I could not believe that six month gap, given those figures.
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It is huge…
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and disgusting, in my opinion.
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But how to make it quicker? Other than employing and training more staff, and getting the right glass vials in stock??
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Getting the deliveries in would be a good place to start…
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I can see why you’re so angry. And, though I know it does little to nothing, I’m sorry it may all come too late for you, both for your sake and for that of your family. I lost my Nan (Dad’s Mother) back in August 2020, and it still bothers me that – apart from a couple of carefully restricted visits for my Dad at the very end (even though we weren’t actually in lockdown at the time, but just observing social distancing rules) – she died alone in a hospital bed without the comfort of having someone by her side, after having been there with little human contact for almost two weeks.
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I am so sorry, Tori. There has to be a better way to handle the passing of a loved family member. The loneliness of those passing and the grief and emotional damage done to those who remain is appalling. The scars may linger for years.
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Thanks, and I agree: there has to be a better way… One that won’t leave the person passing alone. Nothing can make the loss of a loved one easy, but there has to be a way to be cautious because of the virus while also making things as bareable as possible for those left behind from an emotional point of view.
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Yes, there must. It is cruel and inhumane to allow people to pass alone and forbid the goodbyes and warm touch of their loved ones.
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What abysmal stats. You’re a caregiver and need care yourself. They should prioritize you and your family.
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I’m not so wrried about me, to be fair… I am dying anyway. But all those unpaid carers should definitely not be so far down the list.
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We all are dying, no one knows for sure when! I do hope that things are easier for you and that the treatment works.
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It has worked as well as it is going to 🙂
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😍💜💖💗❤️
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I do not know where to start and I feel your anger. I also think that people really do not care that much – its an “I’m alright Jack” society – especially it seems in the UK these days. I do not want to lose my friend and if I must then I want to be able to play out with her a bit more chasing birds, dragons and Goddesses…. but they made sure we cannot do that. But then I don’t quite get anything at the moment. Why is the vaccine that as you so aptly put it – doesn’t stop you getting it and doesn’t stop you spreading it – being pushed so hard even to the point of the UK and US secret services conducting surveillance campaigns (reported today) on those of us that refuse an untried, untested emergency use only vaccine and wanting to label us threats to society? I think that they know that the only real solution is herd immunity but actually having people get COVID for herd immunity is unacceptable so let’s get them herd immunity through vaccination instead. That is the plan quite clearly. The vaccine is supposed to trigger your immune system and trick it to think you have got COVID. But there is no real immunity to this sort of virus – there is just a semi-immunity – like cold, flu and so on. You get it every year or so but you get it with less severity – unless of course it morphs… then nothing helps but getting it and starting cycle all over again. and COVID is morphing twice per month so thats 24 a year….. Basically then I am forced to conclude that the Government(s) are clueless, have no real plan except herd immunity and cannot be seen to be doing nothing and letting people die …. so they lock us up and force a vaccine on us. And I suppose hope it works. Humanity isn’t a part of their consideration at all Sue. Never was. As I posted recently on FB “There are two kinds of people: Those who think the government cares about them, and those who think..” Much love and healing to you Sue. Keep up the good work that do… as a thinker.
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I think that governments fearing they are being seen to do nothing, or percieved to have not done enough sooner, is one of the biggest problems we have right now. At the start, they could be forgiven for not knowing how to confront a new threat. It is a learning curve for everyone. But there has been time to learn and make choices…and many of those have brought untold and unthought-of suffering to millions of people.
On a personal note, all I can do is my best to stick around long enough to play out again. And I will x
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Reblogged this on The Magical World of G. Michael Vasey and commented:
The final part….
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I pressed like simply as support, no one could like what you have written. It is horrendous, even more horrendous is that we all know about this! The government, the NHS, all carers and most of the general population know this is true!
It is wrong and God forgive me I don’t know what to do or say. This makes me weep why is there so little or no support or care for you and millions like you. I just do not understand, no doubt if you were rich and famous you could get support.
I knew all of this but seeing it written down brings me to tears. It is all bloody wrong. 💜💜💜💜
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Thanks, Willow. I don’tcount in this, but I am hoping that those with the power to change this one day will start to level the playing field… but I am doubtful when so much saving of official money is involved.
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Have you sent these three posts to your MP. Or even Downing Street. It needs to be logged and read. A real eye opener.
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Already done.
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Excellent 👌
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That truly is shocking, Sue. But so many things to do with this virus and its handling, ordering, prioritising, etc have been and sadly, will continue to be Xx
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Unfortunately, I agree with you, Ess… but these things need to at least be voiced, because if we stay silent, we are allowing it to pass unchallenged. xx
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That’s so very true, Sue xx
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Reblogged this on willowdot21 and commented:
Sue brings to light the the huge gap between paid and unpaid carers and the sad plight of the terminally ill.
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It’s so wrong on any scale that claims to know anything about humanity. Why vaccinate 99 year olds in care homes or palaces just because they are the oldest? It’s people who need the vaccine and could benefit from it who ought to get it. We’re told medical staff have been making decisions about who to treat in hospitals for months. It seems hypocritical to vaccinate using different criteria.
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I think they are vaccinating the eldest because they are the ones actually dying from it. A consultant at the hospital told me the other day that less than 400 under sixties have died from the virus here since it began…so the older population, being more susceptible, are most at risk of death. And believe me, it doesn’t matter how old you are if you haven’t finished living yet, you don’t want to go 😉
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No, I don’t mean that we should let them all die, but there’s old and there’s ancient and non compos mentis. If it’s a toss up between someone like Prince Phillip who doesn’t ever have to meet anyone if he doesn’t want to and someone like you who needs to get out and mingle, for me, there’s no question.
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But then there is the problem that being vaccinated doesn’t automatically stop you catching or transmitting the virus anyway… We are pinning hopes on ephemera…
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No. One of our top doctors is saying it shouldn’t be called a vaccine at all. Like the difference between a flea spray that repulses the critters and one that kills them.
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That depends on which one. The Oxford vaccine is a traditional style vaccine… Pfizer one is a different technology and doesn’t fit the standard definition of traditional vaccines.
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I think he was talking about the Pfizer.
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I believe I read his statement
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There is so much opacity around the way the pandemic has been handled, we’re being asked to make choices when we should be hearing hard scientific fact.
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All we can do is do the research ourselves.
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Where do we get the information from though? I’m not a biologist. I rely on them to tell me whether something is safe/effective or not. I’d take the vaccine if it was offered but I’m in the ‘rest of the population’ category therefore don’t even think about it before April. Husband has asthma, mild and probably provoked by an allergy of some kind, but he’s also ‘rest of the population.’ It makes me angry seeing celebs and politicians who are younger and healthier than either of us going on TV to take the vaccine as a heroic gesture to encourager les autres. We can’t get if we want it!
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There are papers available to read, if we dig far enough, but most people do not want to do that and as you say, rely on the knowledgable authorities to keep them safe.
As I don’t have TV, I haven’t been subjected to the scenes you mention here, but it wouldn’t make me happy about it. Persoanlly, if it is a case of encouraging the population to take up the vaccine when offered, I would prefer to see the vaccine creators, specially those who stand to make money from them, take their own medicine.
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Putting the needle where their money is…
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Yep.
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As for the different treatment given to professional and ‘voluntary’ care givers, that is simply shameful.
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For that there is neiher reason nor excuse.
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It saves the state a lot of money. Good enough reason for them.
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Exactly.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
The Inconvenient Walking Dead, Part 3 by Sue Vincent.
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I have to say I’m not surprised. The injustices should be challenged but I don’t think anyone is listening…
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Money and percieved position speaks louder when such things are being debated than most other voices.
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True x so sad 😔
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I should write something touching and meaningful…except I’m sitting here blubbering. So I’ll just send all my love.
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That matters far more than clever words, Barb.Thank you xx
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Hi Sue. I am too full of tears and sorrow for your lot to be able to say anything more heartfelt and eloquent than Willow. We are all thinking of you. xx
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Thank you, Kim, I still consider myself one of the luckier ones, who has a bit of time to adjust, even if I cannot do what I would like and spend time with my loved ones.
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Right, that settles it… you cannot go anywhere, Sue. Don’t even think of it until normality returns, and hopefully not then either…
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I am doing my utmost to make sure of that, Jaye 😉
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Reblogged this on Books & Bonsai.
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Sue, the thing is you certainly DO matter whatever you might write.
You matter in far more ways than I know and this IS about you because you have such a love of life and such a giving heart.
Just look into Ani’s eyes if you don’t believe me 💚💚
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I agree wholeheartedly. Your posts, Sue, have brought so much pleasure to me and given me much food for thought over the time I’ve been following you. Someone earlier said the blogosphere won’t be the same without you. That’s true.
What you have said here is shocking. I’m angry with with you. But I’ll pray for you and hope you can get the vaccine soon.
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I honestly don’t think the vaccine will make a huge amount of difference to me. As far as I can tell, no-one is saying we will get more individual feedom once we’ve been vaccinated… it may yet be a long haul before that arrives. But the injustice of how family carers are being dealt with again has me really riled on their behalf.
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Ani worries me more than anything else… how can I explain?
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You don’t need to – I get it as much as I possibly can without being in your shoes.
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I meant to Ani 😉 x
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She probably understands more than any human ever could. 💚💚
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Yes, she probably does. 🙂
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I hope you sleep or at the very least have Ani keeping a good eye on you.
💚
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Ani likes to keep my toes warm at night 🙂
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That’s so sweet. Tell her Stan sends his puppy love. xx
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She sends her love back 🙂
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💙💚
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I feel your anger and heartbreak, Sue and share it. Wrapping you in much love. ❤ Xxx
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Thank you, Jane. ❤
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This is a sad state of affairs. I know little of the health care in the UK, but my husband’s cousin lost both of her parents last year within 2 weeks. (not COVID related) She sent me a note recently and said that the UK was not a good place for old people as she felt her parents were not treated well. I was surprised to hear that and shocked at your report.
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No, the elderly here have had a very rough year and there is still an official mentality in places that sidelines the non-contributors to society. I have to wonder how many older people have been left to die alone or with only a stranger behind a mask for company since covid struck.
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I am sorry Sue for so many reasons but more than anything that your love of life and those around you is being stifled and right now you should have the freedom to do exactly as you please.. I am so angry about this vaccination roll out in general not just in the UK but all over, including places like France where in the first two weeks they managed to vaccinate just 350 people, but 2,500 rave up without masks caused a massive spike in cases. I know this is new territory and hopefully within a couple of weeks it will be better organised.. As to famlly carers I did apply during the six years I looked after my mother but the £52 a week came with so many restrictions on what both my husband and I could earn working from home so that we were there 24/7 that I did not take it in the end. I hope that your consultant was being pessimistic and we have you with us for as long as possible..♥♥
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Caring is a minefield and you have, as you know, to trudge through a whole quagmire of paperwork for very little return. Becoming employed as Nick’s PA eventually made things somewhat easier, but now leaves me struggling.
I have no doubt they will up the vaccination rate with the masures they are taking… I can allow the need to getthings organised and moving, just not the way the unpaid carers are shoved to the back of the pile yet again.
As for me, and all those in a similar situation, most changes will come too late. Sadly, I think my consultant was giving a generous estimate unless the immunotherapy can pull a rabbit out of the hat. xx
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We can only hope Sue… ♥♥
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And believe… ❤
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♥
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You and your family are always in our prayers.
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Thank you, Ena.
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Distribution schemes here seem to have no rhyme or reason or order. There are multiple sites, different vaccines. We were on a list of 300 with public health but heard Duke was also giving out the vaccine and called there. Next week for us.
This virus really did a number on some seriously sick people, Sue, and I feel so badly for you.
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There are so many hidden consequences slipping through the net, I doubt we will ever know the true ‘cost’ of this virus and the way it has been handled globally.
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Reblogged this on Ed;s Site..
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Having gone through the end of life issues with both of my parents, you raise so many valid concerns, Sue. I was so grateful that my parents spelled out all of their wishes in advance when they were of sound body and mind. It’s tough when loved ones are already grieving and face these crucial and difficult questions. Is the surgery necessary and worth it, especially when the quality of life is such that it isn’t going to make much difference? Is it important to continue to go to the dentist to get one’s teeth cleaned when it’s a risk that he/she may fall trying to do that?
Having a road map (my parents spelled out their wishes) made that journey easier for me. I have three older brothers, but none of them live near. Day to day medical decisions regarding Mom came down to me. I also felt that if I were in my brothers’ shoes, I would want to know what was going on. I emailed them all the time with updates. I was employed and responsible for a class of children, and I came close to a nervous breakdown.
Now my mother-in-law is 96, and she hasn’t recognized any of her children in more than five years. My wife and her sister are facing many of these same difficult choices. I think it is human nature to want to avoid the unpleasant topic of death, but the responsible thing is to have these things spelled out so that our kids can make decisions without a mountain of guilt.
I hope that you have some support system. You will be in my prayers.
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I am so sorry you had to go through that and that your wife is now facing it too, Pete. It is a stressful and painful time.
It does make a difference knowing what choices have been made and how the dying person feels about the various prospects that might be faced. I and my late partner talked through everything when his death became inevitable, even though when it did come, it took us all by surprise. I have put specific instructions in my medical files and a DNR for procedures I think would be a step too far, as well as talking things through with my nearest and dearest.
The decisions are made and mine. But I do have support and for that, and the prayers and thoughts in which I am held, I am grateful.
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It’s all wrong Sue, and I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said. Our government should be pulling out ALL the stops to get this vaccine rolled out, insisting all GP surgeries participate (ours and a lot in Lincolnshire are not) and calling in retired medical staff to help deliver the doses.
In the name of humanity, loved ones should be allowed to say their last goodbyes.
I hope you far exceed the timeframe given to you, hope you get the vaccine soonest, and hope any future treatments work for you so that you can achieve the personal goals you’ve set for yourself. I am so, so sorry this has happened to you.
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Thanks, Ritu. There is a lot that ‘should’ be happening, fuelled by common sense and compassion, that doesn’t seem to be on anyone’s agenda.
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It just makes me so angry…………….
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Yep…
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I am very sorry to hear your prognosis, Sue. This is such an unfortunate time for so many people. We have no vaccines here and none on the way either. Our government failed to pay for ours by the deadline – twice. I hope that things will improve with the vaccine so you can be with your loved ones again soon.
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I honestly cannot see how the vaccine will improve anything in the short term.. which is what I have to look at, barring miracles. It will need a wide-spread immunity before it makes a difference.
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I know, Sue, I think so too. Miracles do sometimes happen, I will keep praying for your and your family.
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Thank you, Robbie. Miracles do indeed happen… out sons are proof of that.
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There’s a part of me that’s shocked at this disparity. But there’s a more pragmatic part that isn’t surprised in the slightest. And when I say pragmatic, I mean because I’ve come to expect (from any government during my adult life – but particularly the space-wasters we’ve had in place for the last 5 years) a complete disregard for anyone or anything that doesn’t win votes. My guess is that most carers don’t have the time or energy to kick off about this and, as they’re largely unseen by the rest of the public, they won’t get the attention they deserve. I think I’ll have a drink now – see if it lowers my blood pressure…
And it’s nice to know we’ve got a deadline for that drink in a pub garden. (Obviously, I don’t do irony…)
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Or puns 😉
I agree with you, Graeme… carers are almost always to tired and too busy to start shouting… so their voices are only heard when others speak for them.
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Puns? Perish the thought…
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😀
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Outrageous! 😡
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I thought so too.
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At least you have a list! In the US, the vaccine distribution is decided separately by each state, and not only has NY been slow to vaccinate, we don’t even know who will be in line after health care workers and nursing homes. The police and fire departments are fighting over which of them should be first…its crazy. I have no expectations of being offered a vaccine at all in the next 6 months. But I would put any caregiver ahead of me, especially those in crowded multi-generational homes. But they, too, will have to wait–a non-paying job is not really a job here either. Got to keep the economy going.
I hope there is some way you will be able to be with your grandchildren soon. Humanity is massively failing its most vulnerable with both arrogance and ignorance. (K)
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This does seem to have had a polarising effect, showing botht the best and worst sides of humanity…and its way of handling both crisis and compassion.
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Reblogged this on Mary Smith's Place.
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Still praying for you and yours. Hugs and love, Sue!
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Thank you, Alexander. Hugs.
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Sending out and surrounding you with light and love! I believe in miracles and as such I shall see you triumphant in all causes! ❤
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I would never discount miracles, but I would rather see them open official hearts and eyes to some of the inhumanity of this situation.
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My prayers are with you, Sue. I pray that your time here is extended and that you can spend it with those you love. I also pray for you to have everlasting peace.
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Thank you, John, I am grateful for your prayers.
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I have been since I heard. (just never told you) Now was the time to say something. I keep you and Mary on the docket. I hardly ever ask for anything so maybe the an unusual voice will be heard. I believe so. ❤️
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Thank you, John. I know how much a prayer can do ❤
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I do too. 😁
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🙂
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🤗
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This, above all else, history will see an Covid-19’s legacy. 😦
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History will, I hope, have a lot to say about how this was all handled.
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I’m hopeful of a few pillorying’s myself.
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😀
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I find it astonishing you can write like this, with passion and searing insight, as you navigate your own journey towards end of life. You are amazing.
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Thank you, Carolyn. These issues are having a negative impact on so many lives at present and need highlighting. I have a voice only through the keyboard at the moment, but I can still use my fingers.
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I did the calculation, and got a figure of between 8-11 million in front of me. There should be a system where we can ‘pass-on’ our place in the queue to others in greater need. I would happily give up my vaccination spot to someone like you, Sue.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Thank you, Pete, I would happily give up mine to someone with young children or someone in need to care for …but choice is no longer a factor in much of what we do these days.
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An indication of the kind of person one is are their unselfish actions/thoughts…you are an astonishing lady, Sue with thoughts only for others…Bless you xx
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I’m no angel, Carol… there are plenty of things I would like to change for me too 😉 xx
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No doubt, Sue and I’m sure at times you think why me! But your love and concern for your fellow beings shines through and that is what makes you special …Hugs lady xxx
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Oh no, I don’t question ‘why’… there is always something to learn in what we are sent. x
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I was in a Zoom meeting this week with the person responsible for organising the vaccination programme for South Hampshire. I could see all the stress in every move she made.
I’m so sorry for all the people trying so hard to ease at least some of the pain people are going through.
I’m so sorry for everyone for whom the vaccine would make a real difference to, who may not get it simply because of the numbers.
And I’m sorry for my friend and her family, because she had to be admitted to hospital at Christmas with a lung problem, contracted Covid, and never came home.
Keep kicking ass till you can do no more, Sue. ❤
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I am sorry for the loss of your friend, Jemima. There may not be a perfect answer, Jemima, and life is seldom as ‘fair’ as we would like it. But I do think there are deeper issues here that need to be addressed about how individuals are valued in our society. ❤
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I am deeply saddened at the disparity between unpaid carers and paid caregivers. The US doesn’t have such a list or way to track when you can get the vaccine. Not yet. As a teacher, if I were higher on the list, I would give up my spot for someone with children, or for you in a heartbeat.
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Those responsible for caring for others through this and beyond are the ones that worry me most, ncluding parents and teachers.
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Amen!
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yes. it’s one thing to have such a quote; it’s an entirely different matter to follow through on it. you have pointed out some glaring inconsistencies. I don’t think it’s any better in the U.S. The vaccination process is not being managed well…
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None of this seems to have been well managed…
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and they certainly had enough time to plan…
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So it appears…
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Sue, my heart breaks for you and your family. Mary Smith and you have been in my prayers ever since I learned of your diagnoses. May you be surrounded by love, and may God grant you peace.
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Thank you, Linda. I appreciate your prayers. We are but two amongst many who are finding this journey harder than it needs to be at the moment, I fear.
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Oh my God, that hit at the end – that made me mad.
My mother’s best friend is a family carer for her mom, entirely unpaid (there is no such thing as a carer being paid through the government here), and she’s not in any sort of line to receive the vaccine. It’s really depressing, since her mother’s illnesses are immune-related and she’s not “in the clear” after the vaccine because of the likelihood that it won’t be effective for her.
Regardless of whether you end up getting the vaccine, I’m going to be here, rooting for another season of heather. 🙂
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Many people simply do not consciously come into contact with ‘family carers’… but they do have friends who look after family and, because these things are seldom discussed, do not realise the implications of what that might mean.
I’m planning for another heather season too. There is none here where Ilive… and I have missed it th elast two years in the north.
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The numbers are so stark, Sue. I care for my parents and our vaccinations are likely 6 months apart, and we haven’t even begun. It seems short-sighted and cruel to leave terminally ill people isolated from their loved ones. Sending you virtual hugs and wishing they were in person.
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Thanks Diana. Shortsighter and cruel, I would agree with… but economically, it makes perfect sense…
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Sometimes it just can’t all be about economics. There has to be compassion too. ❤ ❤
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I agree, but that is seldom the case at official levels…
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Dear Sue, there’s no rhyme or reason to much of what’s being done. I don’t think there’s a perfect answer, as you say, but there are some that are so wrong… I hope the doctor is wrong. Thinking of you. ♥
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I rather hope so too, Olga. Thank you ❤
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You bring to light a travesty with those home caregivers who are playing such an important role, but in this COVID universe are being discounted to such an alarming extent. Perhaps most heart breaking is the support groups and connections which in normal times would bring some feeling of comfort and camaraderie are no longer available to you and others, which makes getting through these hard times even more difficult. I could not imagine having to face such a journey alone… Sending you love and comforting thoughts, Sue. Take care.
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The closing off the support groups makes a huge impact for so many…both for those caring for others and those needing care, for whatever reason, including cancer. Without the warmth of family and friends, each step weighs heavy.
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Thank you for sharing the reality of the pandemic from a perspective or a terminally ill person. It’s an important issue we don’t seem to want to look at.
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It does make a huge difference to how things pan out, Just at present,, for example, I have been through the chemo…. am still in immunotherapy for the foreseeable… but this is the bit where my health is as near to normal as it is probably likely to get. And it is unlikely to last this way for long. And, because of covid, I still cannot see the people I love or go anywhere because of lockdown. These are the last bits of my ‘live-able’ life slipping away… and it is frustrating.
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Sue, when you have a sense of social justice and fairness and then find your loved one and by proxy yourself, plunged into the realms of disability, it doesn’t take long for your blood to boil and like it or not, you’re forced into becoming an advocate. I was at Church last Sunday and I’m down to 50% lung capacity yet I was wearing my mask, as was a young disabled girl who is not known for going with the flow (pulled out her feeding tube in hospital) Quite a few weren’t wearing masks during the service, and then even less afterwards and there’s always a few singing. These are all banned atm. At the earlier service, everyone had masks on. Great compliance. It got me so worked up that I’m not going back for awhile. Couldn’t get over their selfish behaviour.
I will be praying for you, Nick and your family and for an extension for you.
Love,
Rowena
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It takes very little, whatever your own views, to be courteous and reassure others. I hate wearing a mask, but I wear one.
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Exactly, take care, Sue and I’m thinking of you!
love,
Rowena
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Thank you, Rowena 🙂
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Hi Sue, I missed your posts at the beginning of January and I had no idea what you are going through. We are all dying, but when the end date is thrust at you and you have to undergo such agressive treatments, it must be a hard situation to manage. I hope you can fill your days by doing things you enjoy and sharing precious moments with the people you love.
I enjoy taking part in #Writephoto and I feel honoured that you find a few minutes to stop by my blog, read and comment on my entries.
I agree with everything you say about carers. I know many women who are looking after their elderly parents and children and often working, too, and their work is not valued enough.
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Hi Lucy, I am not planning on stopping living, just because I have reached my sell-by date…not until I have to 🙂
Covid is making it very difficult for anyone in a similar situation to see and be with the people we love, or visit the places we call ‘home’… and that is hard, but at least we are still here to raise oour voices on the things that matter to us.
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