Overcooked…

Image result for feet cartoon funny

A trip acoss the border into Scotland we had planned,
We dreamed, anticipating, for the day was close at hand,
I wrote about it at the time, excitement unabashed…
Until disaster chose to strike and all our plans were dashed.

With one exploding coffee pot that melted cloth and skin,
Once bandaged like a mummy, disappointment settled in.
The trip was off, we couldn’t go, with me half burned alive…
And, till I was unmummified, I really couldn’t drive.

Now, Scotland once again is calling to the northward road;
I’m being so damned careful in and out of my abode
That you would be forgiven if you thought I was neurotic…
The trouble is I didn’t count on this antibiotic

I flit from shade to shadow as the sun, I’m told, will burn,
How badly, I decided, I was not prepared to learn.
I wear long sleeves and cover up and plaster on the lotion
And when I have to go outside, I keep myself in motion.

But what with ponds and awkward sons requiring transportation
And sunny days with temperatures exceeding expectation,
And windscreens that will magnify the rays on hands and head…
Regardless of precautions, I am now a beetroot red.

My fingers have gone scarlet where I hold the steering wheel,
They were mostly protected by the sunblock, so they’ll heal.
I’ll pass the crimson cheekbones off as just a healthy glow,
The nose would rival Rudolph’s, though, and that’s a nasty blow.

I really couldn’t help it…I have done my best to hide,
But duty called and so we had to go out for a ride,
I pushed the wheelchair through the sun, tried not to stay out long,
“Your toes look like chorizo,” said my son. He wasn’t wrong.

It had been warm this morning and so when I had to choose,
I’d opted for my sandals, being cooler than my shoes,
And though I spread the sunblock on my hands and face and nose…
I never even thought about applying it to toes!

Now the offending articles protruding from my feet
Too well resemble sausages, far too well-done to eat,
The blistered skin refuses shoes and may reject the floor,
My mismanaged appendages are really awful sore.

The die is cast; I knew the score you’ll say, it serves me right…
And I will have to hide by day and just go out at night.
So take a tip from me next time the summer sun you greet…
Apply the sunblock lavishly… and don’t forget your feet!

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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57 Responses to Overcooked…

  1. Michael says:

    Ha funny…well the poem not the burning or coffee pot or trip ruination…πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Oh! Sue this is such a clever poem. But I am so sorry to hear about your poor feet. Lots of after sun should help. I do hope you are better very soon. I think you will have to have a day light strike until you finish the tablets. Get well !! πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jenanita01 says:

    Isn’t it about time that they create medication that doesn’t do more harm than good?
    It might be after the horse has bolted, so to speak, but what you needed was a very big hat!

    Like

  4. Mary Smith says:

    Felt I shouldn’t ‘Like’ this as it does spund very painful – but it’s such a funny poem. Hope the sausage toes feel better soon.

    Like

  5. Alli Templeton says:

    Oh poor you! How you can create such a superb, lyrical creation from such a hideous time I’ll never know. You’re amazing. I really do feel for you, and very much hope you can get the feet and other burnt appendages under control soon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for some cooler, cloudier weather to come. In the meantime, I’m thinking of you and sending you all my good wishes. πŸ™‚

    Like

  6. ksbeth says:

    glad you were able to smile at it all, and push on –

    Like

  7. Sue, your poor toes. That medication sounds downright dangerous unless you’re mummified (again). A clever poem, but I couldn’t help wincing. Ouch!

    Like

  8. Darlene says:

    Oh my. I hope your toes will be better soon. A cute poem. XO

    Like

  9. Chiru says:

    That’s funny

    Like

  10. I remember going to Durban once, Sue, it is very hot there in the summer. My dad sat on the beach in shorts for 20 minutes and he burned his legs so badly he couldn’t walk. The sun is very strong and dangerous. I never to in it at all.

    Like

  11. The first time I went to Arizona, I bought — for the first time EVER since we were going in the hottest month of the year (plane fares are cheap in August) — very fine Indian long-sleeved shirts. They weigh nothing, look nice, and protect you from the sun. NOW all you need is a hat with a nice, wide brim! Have you considered cotton gloves while you drive? You can take them off when you get where you are going and just stuff them in your pockets. As a serious burner, I have learned to cope. I’ve been torched driving in Garry’s convertible — I told him he was going to get a car with a roof or I was going to cut off my hair which in those years was a real threat (the wind from the convertible turned it to eight million tiny pixie knots). I was seared while WEARING teeshirt in the water in Haiti. And burned while walking across a parking lot in Israel. People used to comment that I really HAD picked the wrong country.

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I tend to wear sleeves too…and love Indian cotton. I have been wearing gloves, sleeves and socks…and sweltering… and I d have a big floppy hat. Not that it goes with the working clothes πŸ˜‰

      Like

  12. Widdershins says:

    Well … that sucks! 😦

    Like

  13. Eliza Waters says:

    Sue, you really do suffer for your art! Hope you have lots of Aloe vera to slather on your poor feet.

    Like

  14. Adele Marie says:

    Oh, no, Sue, I hope it isn’t too sore on your toeses. xxx

    Like

  15. noelleg44 says:

    The upside is that you got your vitamin D dose! Sorry about the feet – I’ve done that too, which is why I wear shoes and not sandals if I am going to be out on a really sunny day. I’m already tan from swimming outside – but try to do it later in the afternoon when there’s shade on the water.

    Like

  16. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    UPROARIOUSLY FUNNY—AT LEAST TO ME! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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