It was odd, when we thought about it, that all the healthiest fish had died, The ones we’d had concerns about were still with us. It was also odd that all our special friends amongst the fish had gone… the ones we had named as they taught us to know their characters. All except one… a huge sturgeon named Jay, for an old friend of Nick’s who was a gentle giant of a man.
Jay, at well over three feet long and with a girth to match, the gentle giant of the pond, who Nick was able to stroke and whose curiosity about the strange creatures above the water was as obvious as our own about him.
But Jay was not recovering well last night. Nick and I spoke on the phone and he told me the sturgeon was still struggling badly… so he stayed with the fish so it would not be alone, protecting his exposed face, until very late. When I emailed Nick this morning, just before six, the response was almost immediate. It was not looking good… he was upside down in the water again.
When I got there, he was on the bottom, belly up. In itself, that meant nothing… that is the sturgeons’ usual position when something is wrong and it actually allows me to see the gills and make sure they are still moving. They weren’t.
We made a periscope-affair to get a better look, not wishing to disturb the fish if he were just resting. That just confirmed our fears and once more we faced the sad and, in this case, difficult task of lifting a friend from the pond.
His eyes had faded, his colour had gone, only a pale ghost of his star-patterned beauty remained. He must have passed overnight, after Nick had left him. I have often seen the same with dying humans, that where there is a bond, death waits for their loved ones to leave before they do. Perhaps staying with Jay had meant more to the fish than Nick could have known.
Everyone felt it. “It feels like a funeral,” said one of the gardeners, helping me to wrap the body. “I’ll bury him for you,” offered another. We can only hope now that Jay is the last to be lost.
The pond feels somehow ’empty’. Not through lack of fish, for many survived, but because the characters we knew are no longer there . They cannot be replaced… that is never possible, but others will fill the space left by their absence as we learn to know them. Perhaps, after yesterday’s visitation, a butterfly koi would be a fitting memorial.
And, once again, as we moved through another sad day, Nature chose to offer a small gift to lift the heart. One of the resident robins with babies to feed chose to seek grubs in the earth of the new garden as it was moved, constantly coming within touching distance and showing not the slightest fear or hesitation. And here, at least, the message is clear… as the robin is always the harbinger of new beginnings and renewal.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
I feel for you!
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❤
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😍
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Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Animals certainly can take hold of your heart. I hope there will be no more losses.
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So do we, Darlene… twelve is more than enough 😦
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Ah, please give Nick a big hug for me. 😦 ❤
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Will do, Alethea. You met those fish… xx
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I did, at least a few of them 😦
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❤ x
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We were very attached to my daughter’s fish. They are wonderful creatures. I think you are right about Nick’s presence for Jay. (K)
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Because they appear so expressionless at a casual glance, it is only when you really get to know them that their characters become obvious and you do get very fond of them. I think Nick being there did matter.
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So sad for you, and particularly for Nick. Hugs xx
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Thank you, Joy. Hugs. xx
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You both have my deepest sympathies.
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Thank you, Pamela.
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Very sorry for your loss, Sue. They were beautiful animals ❤
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They were, Jacquie. Thank you.
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Oh! I am so sorry that you have lost so many friends. I really do feel for you both and I am sending love to you both. Please give Nick a hug and tell him I am thinking of him.
I do believe that Nick’s friendly butter fly was the spirits of his departed fish bringing him hope for the future.💜💜💜
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Thank you, Willow. I know Nick will appreciate that ❤ xx
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I really am so sorry 💜
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❤ xx
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Your posts about the fish always make me emotional. I am so sorry for the loss of Jay.
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They are all equally special, but Jay, Trooper and Simon wre close to our hearts. Thanks, Di. x
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Some creatures have a habit of doing that. 🙂
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They do seem to 🙂
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I feel with you too, Sue! He looked so interesting. A sad lost. Michael
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He was a beauty, Michael.
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I agree, Sue! Never seen such a big fish in a garden pool. 😉
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There were three of them. Jay was the biggest.
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I’m so sorry about the fish. I think when the area around a pond goes bad, it does something to the water. I’ve seen it here, too. At least, with all the work afoot, you can start anew and this time, maybe all will be well.
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Thanks, Marilyn. The sad thing is that, apart from the oxygen levels, the pond is in perfect condition at the moment… but hopefully the new design will help keep it that way.
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Hopefully, the arrival of the robin signals the end of all the sadness, Sue…
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Well, the Robin is back today and the smaller fish are breeding. ..which is a beautiful illustration of the life cycle.
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So pleased to hear that, Sue…
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🙂
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks for sharing, Jaye x
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I’m sorry for the loss of your scaled friend, and hope he’s the last you’ll lose in the near future.
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So do I, Tori… thank you. They all seem okay today.
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And with sorrow comes joy. I’m so sorry for you both, Sue. Nature can be comforting.
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Neither even come wholly alone…and today some of the smaller fish appear to be spawning.
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Really! 😀
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Indeed 🙂
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Poor Jay, and another huge blow to you both. And strange that the Robin put in such a bold appearance – it does seem as though you have support from another realm. Devastating times, and I hope the little nature messengers continue to bring you hope. Thinking of you. ❤
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Thanks, Alli. The smaller fish seem to be spawning today… the first time this year… which in itself is a hopeful sign. And Robin is with us constantly hunting for grubs for his brood 🙂 x
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This was so very sad Sue. I’m sorry you and Nick have lost so many of your fishy friends. I hope down the road when all is fixed with the pond and such you will bring new friends to lighten your hearts. ❤ xx
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Thanks, Debby. There are stillmany fish in the pond… these were the ones we had really got to know. ❤ x
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I guess it’s time to get reacquainted with the other family ❤
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We are working on that ❤
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So sorry you lost Jay. He must have been beautiful, and he was obviously as attached to you and Nick as you were to him.
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He was very beautiful, in his own way, Lyn. I am just so sorry we couldn’t save him.
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Bon Voyage, Jay. 😦
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❤
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I find the saying goodbye the hardest with our animal friends, we are about to build a new pond so fingers crossed.
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As we are responsible for the wellbeing of those friends, it is always difficult… and so many at once…
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Yes, I feel a sadness just reading about your loss, and feel for you all in that.
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Thank you, Paul.
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Most welcome Sue.
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Very sad news indeed – Alli told me about this yesterday and I was sorry to hear it. It’s very strange how the Robin has suddenly appeared as if to fill the void though.
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Thank you…it was, Stuart, very sad. But there is always a harbinger of hope somewhere…
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My heartfelt condolences to you and Nick, so so sad. xxx
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Thank you xx
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We humans are lucky to make connections with those animals that allow it. A special affinity between Nick and Jay – thank you for this touching story.
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It is always a gift when that connection happens…
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I’m so sorry. I know your hearts are breaking. Sending love and hugs to comfort you and Nick.
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Thanks, Michelle…hugs ❤
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Did the fish die because of the disturbance in the garden, Sue?
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Lack of oxygen from the sudden heatwave, in combination with some of the ongoing works having reduced the water flow temporarily… really sad.
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