‘So,’ Dr Stelios Gobbe peered at the skeletal figure stretched out on his couch, ‘you’re not yourself, you say.’

Stelios winced. When Ulysses ‘Lardy’ Wainscoat has booked a session he’d explained his recent mutism to the receptionist, asking that he be given facilities to write his answers. What he hadn’t included in the information provided was the reason for his inability to articulate.

‘I mean,’ hurried on Stelios, ‘you explained this change of status had caused you to feel low and you’ve become,’ he hesitated, staring at the concave, basically nonexistent stomach and internal organs, before forcing himself on, ‘depressed.’

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