Thank you to Sue for inviting me to write a post for her lovely blog.
There are occasions when we feel we’re not getting anywhere or we’ve taken a wrong turn. Such negative situations can be really demoralising, but they aren’t necessarily a wasted experience. I’ve chosen two examples to illustrate how initial failure and disappointment don’t have to result in a dead-end. If you can’t shake off an old regret or you’re currently pouring your heart into something that doesn’t seem to be working, I hope this post will give you a lift, and maybe a little nudge towards a positive way forward.
The first example takes us back to the 1980s. After three years of studying for a Bachelor of Education degree at Goldsmiths College, it became clear I could write jolly good essays on the philosophy, history, psychology and sociology of education, but my ability to teach a class was far from impressive. During my three teaching practices I became very disillusioned when some of the students wouldn’t engage, and a number seemed to actively dislike me. I left college with my confidence dented, but keeping my fingers crossed that once I was teaching for real, things would improve.
However, meticulous planning of lessons and boundless enthusiasm for my subjects – drama and English – didn’t inspire my students at the South London secondary school where I worked. Whatever skills were required to be a good classroom teacher, I appeared to lack them. Where I did have some success was with children who had special educational needs. The one-to-one relationships were very rewarding, and each tiny step of progress felt like a joint victory. If only I could have spent all my days with these students. Unfortunately, by the end of the year, although I’d passed my probation, high hopes had turned to daily disappointment, and at the end of the year, I quit. I was physically and emotionally drained. At the tender age of twenty-two, the career I’d set my heart on was over. Education had been everything to me, and I had wanted to play my part in helping students make the very best of their opportunities. Being unable to do this was the cause of huge frustration and sadness.
Fast forward twenty years, and I spotted an advert for a voluntary job with The National Autistic Society’s Advocacy for Education Service (now called The National Autistic Society’s Education Rights Service). While having my own children and working as a classroom assistant played their part, I believe that without my teaching experience – knowing how the education system worked, understanding the pressures on schools, recognising the importance of listening to each individual child – I wouldn’t have even answered the ad, let alone passed the training for the role. I could never have foreseen the path I took to reach that point.
While it’s not the classroom teaching I dreamed of, for the past decade I’ve had the privilege of speaking to parents on the phone and answering their emails, working with them to try and secure the right education for their children. It’s incredibly rewarding to give families the information they need to negotiate appropriate supports, strategies and understanding, so their children can make the very best of their educational opportunities despite the barriers to learning an autism diagnosis may present.
The second example starts in 2010, when I began co-writing a novel with a friend. We had a fabulous time creating our characters and their story, and we eventually published it in 2012. However, we made nearly every mistake in the book: head-hopping galore; publishing with a vanity publisher; being clueless about marketing. I blush at my ignorance and naivety. I genuinely thought we had written a best-seller and everyone would be reading and talking about our book! Turns out that only a small selection of our nearest and dearest were clamouring for a sequel, and the book-buying public hadn’t even noticed it existed. So, our friendship intact, and thankful we’d published under a pen name, my friend and I agreed to draw a veil over the experience.
In the time it took for my ego to recover, I realised I’d learned a lot. If I could write one book, I could write another. Through making the compromises that go with writing with someone else, my own writing voice was developing. Maybe I hadn’t become a publishing and marketing guru, but I had found out some important basics about social media and self-publishing. It turned out that the wonderful world of self-publishing was open to me not only as a writer, but as a proofreader too. Although I’d been a proofreader for many years, my work had only been with publishers, so I widened my client base to include individual authors.
Five years on, I’ve written and published a novel and some short stories, expanded my business further, and, as an unexpected bonus, I’ve had a great time getting to know some wonderful bloggers and authors.
So, if you’re feeling a bit lost, or if you’ve had a series of disappointments with a project, I encourage you to look for the positives, perhaps consider taking a side-step or a slightly different path, and believe there are better, happier, more fulfilling days to come.
All photographs courtesy of Wendy and her husband.
About the author
Wendy Janes is a freelance proofreader for a number publishers and many authors. She is also a caseworker for The National Autistic Society’s Education Rights Service. Author of the novel, What Jennifer Knows and a collection of short stories, What Tim Knows, and other stories, she loves to take real life and turn it into fiction.
Find and follow Wendy
Twitter@wendyproof Facebook author page, website
AmazonUK Amazon US Facebook profile Goodreads Google+
Click the images or titles to go to Amazon
A vital member of her Surrey community, Jennifer Jacobs is dedicated to her job as a dance therapist, helping children with special needs to express themselves through movement. Wife of a successful though reclusive sculptor, Gerald, she is known for having a deep sense of empathy, making her a trusted confidante. So when two very different friends, Freya and Abi, both share information with her that at first seems to be an awkward coincidence, she doesn’t tell them. But as the weeks roll by, the link revealed between the two women begins to escalate into a full-blown moral dilemma – and also brings to the surface a painful memory Jennifer believed she had long since forgotten. What is the right thing to do? Should she speak out or is the truth better left unsaid?
“I relished reading What Jennifer Knows. Wendy Janes did an excellent job crafting the story and developing the characters.” Michelle Clements James on Amazon.
A gallery-owner’s quest for beauty; a dancer in danger; a new mother struggling to cope with her baby; a sculptor’s search for inspiration; a teenager longing to live in the perfect family; a young boy lost and confused by the rules of life that everyone else seems to understand.
Six stand-alone short stories, spanning five decades. Each capturing a significant moment in the life of a different character. Separate lives linked in subtle ways.
“…this story shows such insight, whilst being touching, sad and funny, all at once. It’s worth getting the book for this story alone, a terrific piece of writing…” Terry Tyler on Amazon.
Many thanks Wendy for your honest appraisal. I think life is all about learning from our mistakes. This certainly had a resonance with my life and experiences. Onwards and upwards – but nothing is wasted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome, Diana. Really pleased to hear this post had a resonance with your life and experiences. Love the sentiment: ‘Onwards and upwards – but nothing is wasted.’
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I needed a pick-me-up post today. Feeling the pain of writing two books under different genres at the moment with a mental block big enough to bury both books!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Eloise, I hope this pick-me-up post has helped in some way to lift some of the weight. Take care.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It certainly has, Wendy. Thank you. Great post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so pleased it has, Eloise.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great post! And it just goes to show that we can learn something from every experience. Sooz
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sooz. Glad you enjoyed the post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post, Wendy. I identify with one of the Dixy Chicks songs where they talk (or rather sing) about taking the long way around. Sometimes I think we go on detours but end up arriving where we were meant to go, even if we might have felt disappointed and felt we were wasting our time. Best of luck!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Olga. I hadn’t heard of that song, so I’ve just found it on YouTube. I’m listening to it as I type this. 🙂 Yes, I think it’s reassuring to remind ourselves that detours can be useful. Now I’m thinking maybe I should have chosen photos with more twisty paths!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this post, Wendy. Really encouraging and one I identify with, having had to rethink my path a few times over the years too. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Christine. Lovely to hear that you identified with this post. So many great opportunities to be had when we rethink our paths.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lovely post, Wendy. Thanks for the pingback.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michelle.
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a wonderful post, Wendy. I’m going off to bed thinking positive thoughts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mary. Hope those positive thoughts lead to sweet dreams.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I really enjoyed reading this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely to hear you enjoyed reading it, Kristina.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on cicampbellblog and commented:
A super positive guest post by Wendy Janes on Sue Vincent’s blog.
When things don’t turn out as you planned, can you turn the negative to a positive? Wendy Janes finds a way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Christine. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What an inspiring post Wendy. When one door closes . . . 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Debbie. Yes, you never know what wonderful things could be waiting behind a new door.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLike
Agh, apologies, Debby. Just spotted that I spelled your name incorrectly. (Particularly embarrassing for a proofreader!)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol, thanks for noticing Wendy. So many don’t. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely, Wendy – and it’s never too late. My sister and I have begun new careers in our 50s, Julia in proofreading (full time and hugely successful) and me as a writer (full time but won’t be paying all the bills any time soon, ha ha!).
I think the most important point you make is not to keep plugging away at stuff that’s not working. Stop right now, deal with it, and move on…. 😉
May your current endeavours bring you profit and happiness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s great to see the success you’re both enjoying, Terry. Whether it’s careers or interests, it’s never too late. I recently read a biography of a policeman. After thirty years on the force he followed his dream to go to university to study literature and write poetry.
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wendy, your experience of teacher training reflects mine. Teaching English to disengaged teenagers (especially war poetry to 15 year old girls) while doing my PGCE was depressing and painful. I would have given up, but I realised that I really wanted my own class of primary school children. This also gave me the variety of a range of subjects and challenged me to teach PE and IT which were not my first choices. Eventually the constant government interference in education wore me down but I will always cherish those first years.
My natural choice would have been research and writing so now in retirement I finally have the chance to follow that route. It is heartening to read the positive way you have responded to life experiences.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Liz. It’s really interesting to hear about your journey, how you rose to the challenges, and that you have those first years to cherish. Wonderful you’re now pursuing research and writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person