Autumn gold

dawn 006

It has been an emotional day. It started with a beautiful dawn, moving swiftly on to a bright and sunny autumn day… a memorable day for many reasons, both past and present. Well no, to be fair it had started a fair bit before dawn with me scribbling away in the dark again trying to capture the stuff of dreams, quite literally… but we can gloss over that.

Unable to sleep I had been up long before dawn and what else do you do once the dog has been walked and fed but switch on the computer and work… I was still there when my son phoned with his orders for the day.

Not that I was reluctant to go down there, of course, not today, with the new wheelchair arriving.

8 oct 13 015

We talked as we waited, looking at just how impossibly far Nick has come since 2009 and how many unrealistic goals he has not only achieved but surpassed. There was a time, in rehab, not long after the attack, when an electric wheelchair was his only possibility for any kind of movement. As soon as he came home that was taken away from him… the system here does not provide electric wheelchairs unless you can prove you can use them inside and out of the house. My home being designed with corridors impossible to manoeuvre something so bulky he was refused the funding for one. And given that they cost more than I own in this world, there wasn’t much we could do about it back then

But that was okay. An electric wheelchair meant defeat in his eyes… giving up, admitting he would never walk again.

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Nick’s focus was squarely on recovery. Ten, twelve, fourteen hours a day …every day…he pushed and pushed himself to regain movement, control, speech and balance. I can’t explain the sheer force of will and herculean effort he poured into it… almost obsessively. You’d have to read his story when we finish writing it to get any idea at all…unless you’ve been there, and many have faced this kind of uphill battle towards unrealistic goals.

Over the past four years, little by little he has regained far more than was ever predicted as any kind of possibility. The ‘major’ triumphs have sometimes been so small to outward appearances that most would not have even noticed them, yet to us they have represented breakthroughs of extreme proportions, knowing as we do where he had started and what effort has been involved in every single one.

But since meeting his wife(and writing that still makes me smile) Nick’s outlook has changed. He has ceased to see physical recovery as the be all and end all of his life and realised that recovery means  living .. and that means more than walking.

As he said today, once upon a time he could walk, run, do all the things he has fought to regain… but was he really happy? Did he appreciate life? And if he spends all his time, energy on focus on physical recovery, he might manage to walk a little way… but could also be run over by the proverbial bus the same day… which would be a hell of a wasted opportunity for someone who now relishes each day.

He showed me a clip of a documentary about Stephen Hawking… and there may have been tears as he reminded me of what he had written for the blog a while back… and here was a guy who faced an even bigger pit of despair than Nick and yet still laughed. We laugh a lot.

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We retired to his garden to wait for the delivery and I pottered with the camera… till Faith decided I was on the wrong end of it.

So today I watched my son drive away in an electric wheelchair, taking himself out with his wife. He wasn’t just going into town… he was starting a new phase of possibility and, in typical fashion, the hobbit stood and attempted to watch through eyes that couldn’t see much for some reason.

He has that effect a lot.

8 oct 13 027

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
This entry was posted in Life, Love and Laughter, Photography, Spirituality, Surviving brain injury and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Autumn gold

  1. Blessings and thank you for sharing your flowers. Hugs, Barbara

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  2. A beautiful story, Sue. I hope both of your lives are enriched beyond measure as you continue moving forward. Such smiles and love…. Thank you for sharing. WG

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Thank you 🙂
      It might seem odd, but I think both Nick and I feel that in many ways the attack was the most life affirming and positive thing that ever happened. x

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      • And that, of course, is key. Remaining positive gives us such enormous resources to work with and to share. The love and joy shining from your son’s face tells the story. You are so blessed to have him and his loving wife close by. Best wishes for a good day, E

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        • Sue Vincent says:

          Yes, considering how close it came to not having him with us at all…The human spirit is capable of great things if we allow ourselves to believe in the possibilities.. and go for it. x

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          • 🙂 So long as we choose the best possibilities to believe in, and trust in “most benevolent outcomes” manifesting in every moment. I was once taught to pray only for the happiness of others- never a specific outcome for their situation. We can never really see far enough ahead to realize all of the ramifications of any specific outcome. What we pray for so ardently today might set us on a different road, leading to a far different place than we wish to be, or wish our loved one to inhabit. It took me a while to really understand that, and in the case of my own daughter and her husband, I’m still trying to learn to pray only for happiness and a benevolent outcome, not for any specific one. Another case of our children being our teachers- or at least the teaching assistants! Your son’s electric chair must be such a relief to him and a path for him to come closer to the “normal” life he wants to live. Best wishes, E

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            • Sue Vincent says:

              I don’t think my son will ever look for normal again.. he left that behind a while ago, and seems to wader somewhere between ‘lunacy’ and ‘extraordinary’ 😉

              I agree with you and with your teacher. To pray for specifics is only to look through our own human eyes.. and out own fallible filters of personality. To pray for what is right and best is to allow both the understanding that our own perceptions may be flawed.. even by love… and to give freedom to those for whom we pray.
              But children as teachers? Oh yes… 🙂
              In Light,
              Sue

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              • In light, Elizabeth

                By the way- have you ever worked with Pythagorean solids made from pure rock crystal? We have found that placing them in our living space- particularly near the windows- protects, enhances the light, and of course raises the vibration of our home and ourselves. We particularly like the tetrahedrons and dodecahedrons. (I also send these to my daughter to have in her space as reminders of the light, and of the perfect order of the universe) Are such things easily available in the UK? E

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              • Sue Vincent says:

                They are available.. and I have a collection of gifted crystals by me as I type.. next to the window.

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              • Same here. They have been longtime companions. Most of mine are still in their natural state, but we began bringing home the cut and polished solids some years ago. We use them, (and some polished points) in the windows and other special spots. For some time now I’ve been making jewelry for those who need it from healing crystals. All of those beautiful stones- waiting to be made and passed on, are here by the computer as well. Do you know rutilated and tourmalinated quartz? In light, E

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              • Sue Vincent says:

                I love rutilated quartz. My grandfather taught me a lot about stones when I was a girl, and that always fascinated me, looking as if it has strands of golden hair caught in it.

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              • You were so fortunate to have a loving grandfather to teach you about stones, Sue. Rutilated quartz is a wonderfully powerful stone. The Rutile can be golden, silver, red, or green. I made a piece with rutilated quartz and turquoise for a friend who leads ghost tours in Colonial Williamsburg. She has told me many times how much it helps and protects her when she is out at night with visitors, working with them and their issues, and encountering the very powerful energies still here in the historic areas. Another piece made with rutilated quartz and Labradorite is waiting for another friend now. Do you have any rutilated quartz that you wear? I used to always carry a piece or wear a piece when I was teaching. E

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              • Sue Vincent says:

                No, I seldom wear stones.. though I carry them…my jewellery collection is rather minimal these days.. The ring I wear for the school is citrine, for obvious reasons, and I was just gifted the most beautiful palm stone in rose quartz by a dear friend.
                Sadly I haven’t had any rutilated quartz for many years.

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  3. gabbie20132013 says:

    Reblogged this on Gabbie Blog.

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  4. gpcox says:

    Such a loving and heartfelt story. All my best.

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  5. ksbeth says:

    this story is as beautiful as the first picture of this blog. a new phase, a new day, a new beginning, a new start.the promise of new and wonderful things to come. beautiful.

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  6. elizabeth says:

    Wonderful story Sue, and your photographs are stunning. Thanks for sharing both. They are inspiring. 🙂

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  7. theINFP says:

    You are a wonderful inspirational light, Sue 🙂

    >

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  8. ronyshapira says:

    such a beautiful post! thanks for sharing!
    xx Vera & Rony
    http://wattwewear.com/

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  9. SirenaTales says:

    So beautiful and inspiring. Shine on, lady and son. Xo

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  10. Adrian Lewis says:

    Wonderful, moving stuff, Sue >>> and I like your flower pictures too! Adrian

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  11. prewitt1970 says:

    You and he both look wonderful.
    Much love to ya
    Benjamin

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  12. Beautiful and inspiring Thanks Sue and congrats to your son.

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