‘So Albertine Mayfly, any moment now it will be dawn on your Big Day and…’

‘My only day.’

‘Well, that’s true but…’

‘Though I suppose that’s merely the average, so some Mayflies may pop their clogs earlier and some go on to day two. That would be something.’

‘True, but our viewers are hoping for a really Big Day for you, Bertie… can I call your Bertie?’

‘I suppose. I mean I’ve only been up and about for an hour or so and I’ve not had much time to think about diminutives, what with hair and makeup calls, the…’

‘Hair?’

‘Well, strictly it was wing tints, curlers for the proboscis and some antennae crimps but that’s a bit of a mouthful….’

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