Physio…

Image result for cartoon physio

“I will send you for X-rays,” the nice doctor said,
“And for physio too while we wait.
I’ll just make the appointment and get you booked in…
Would you rather have early or late?”

Which is why, as the dawn started painting the sky,
I was driving the backroads to Thame.
I was feeling quite well, but I hadn’t much hope
I’d survive without coming home lame.

“Hi, I’m Sam,” said the physio, flashing a smile
And extending a hand, “Follow me.”
He was fine on the eyes, I would have to admit,
But I wondered how bad it would be.

“And how are you today?” he had just had to ask,
“Well, I feel like a fraud, ‘cause I’m great!
I don’t hurt at all and I’m just not in pain.”
I should know that you never tempt Fate…

He asked all the questions and got me to move,
Touching toes, bending down, stretching wide,
Bending forward and backwards and this way and that
Until normally, I would have cried.

“And how are you feeling?” “I’m good,” I felt bad
As I answered his query shamefaced.
Although the pain generally makes itself felt,
It would seem his concern was misplaced.

“Just lay yourself down on the bed, here,” said Sam
With a cold, steely look in his eye.
“We are used to this happening,” grabbing my leg,
“There are still a few things we can try…”

I was not aware human beings could bend,
Without breaking, to such odd proportions,
I soon learned my error, as bits of me turned,
Twisted by some appalling contortions.

“And how are we feeling?” “Not bad,” I replied,
I admit there had been the odd twinge,
But I still felt a fraud as he booked our next date,
Feeling so bad I felt I could cringe.

But the half hour drive did what Sam could not do,
I could barely get out of the car.
“And how are you feeling?” my son thought to ask,
“I don’t think I can walk very far.”

I had gone to the physio feeling okay,
I had left him still feeling quite well,
But within a few miles it was all upside down
And I got to work feeling like hell.

I managed to get all the work done somehow,
To a soundtrack of squealing and screams,
“You had better go home,” said my son, “While you can…”
Did I feel okay now? In your dreams!

No, tonight I can’t move, I can’t even stand up,
And I certainly can’t sit with ease.
I am painkillered up, but I’m going down fast,
So… just cancel the physio, please!

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
This entry was posted in Humour, Poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to Physio…

  1. Susan Scott says:

    Yikes Sue, hot bath with Epsom salts in it – good luck 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rivrvlogr says:

    Awww. Sympathies. I know just what you’re going through.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    Oh no Sue! Hot bath and Epsom salts for you!!!

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Please call over to Sue’s original blog post and leave your commiserations in her comments – they won’t alleviate the pains, but hopefully they will make her feel warm and fuzzy ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  5. felicity936 says:

    My sympathies too, Sue. For a while the physio was the most painful part of my recovery from my operation, but I found it had a very positive effect in the end! Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Marcia says:

    I have to say it’s a very funny poem, though I’m sure you were NOT laughing afterward. So sorry the guy was that determined to find a position or six that wrecked you. I wouldn’t go back, either. Eeek. 😦 Feel better soon! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There are great ones … and not so great ones. I’ve had both. The problem is that some young ones don’t seem to understand that there are parts of us that not only don’t move but should NOT move. That to move them kickstarts a whole new battle that some of us can’t win.

    How about a nice massage? That would be great!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Darlene says:

    Oh dear! I do hope you feel better soon. Why does this happen??

    Liked by 1 person

  9. scifihammy says:

    Aw While I am laughing at your fun poem, I totally sympathise with your pain! Sometimes they just make it worse – and I resort to my Old Faithful vodka!
    I hope you feel more mobile and less painful soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sue my sympathies, after that soak in Epsom salt, be sure to reward your body with something to warm it from the inside too. We really aren’t as bendable as we used to be. But that does not deter them from trying to make us bend like we used to.

    Like

  11. willowdot21 says:

    I completely understand what you are saying the word physio instills terror in my brain! Hope it helps Sue, I am sure it will… I’m still standing!! 💜💜

    Like

  12. OH no, Sue. That is awful. I have never been to physio when I don’t have pain. Its unusual isn’t it?

    Like

  13. Ouch! Sometimes the cure is worse to take than the injury! Love the poem, sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.

    Like

  14. I sympathise Sue. Twist and shout takes on a whole new meaning with physio. Hope the hot bath relaxes and soothes.

    Like

  15. Aaaaawh, poor Sue, you have all my sympathies. ❤ Get well soon!

    Like

  16. noelleg44 says:

    Boy can I empathize! Yes, yes, a hot shower or bath, and some good painkillers should do it. I always wait a few days for another ‘treatment’!

    Like

  17. Eliza Waters says:

    Good Lord, sounds like a nightmare, and a masochist’s dream!

    Like

  18. TanGental says:

    The human frame was not meant to mimic the pretzel – keep away from those who mean well

    Like

  19. Anuradha says:

    Thank you, Sue for throwing light on what it feels on the other end. Trust me, I truly empathise with you, and I am a physio student currently. Final year actually.
    Wish you a speedy recovery and relief.

    Like

  20. Wonderful, Sue. And how I relate!

    Like

  21. Oh no! I hope you’re feeling better today, Sue. Maybe you’ll feel great for your next appointment.

    Like

  22. Rae Longest says:

    I have had similar experiences. I FEEL your pain–literally! I have even gone for a “relaxing massage” and felt worse the day after than I did when I decided to book it!

    Like

  23. dgkaye says:

    Oh Sue. Don’t get me started on my take on physio. My advice – find yourself a great Osteopath, Accupuncture, hot bath with Epsom salts, and CBD oil above all, it works!!! ❤ xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.