The asymmetric small dog (or half a job well done…)

We all know the saga of Ani’s ablutions,
How often I’ve tried, and run out of solutions,
When dog into bathtub‘s a futile equation
Regardless of bribery, guile or persuasion.

A bath was required, I needed an answer,
‘Cause all on my own, I did not want to chance her
Cavorting all wet over sofa and bedding,
But bathe her I must, ’cause she’s hairy and shedding.

There’s no putting off with a whimsical ‘one day’,
I thought to myself, I would do it on Monday,
When after a weekend away I’d be rested,
Refreshed and renewed, I just might not be bested.

So I packed her bag, she went for the duration
To play with her friends, an ideal situation,
I know she is cared for, there’s no cause to worry,
She’s happy and safe and I don’t need to hurry.

While I was away, a text out of the blue…
“I’ve bathed her,” it said. “Twice. And cut her hair too.”
He’d shampooed her first, but she’d played in the mud,
So he’d done it again… and I thought that was good.

He’d trimmed back her feathers, got rid of the matting
Where moulting had made her look like she’d been ratting
Down horrible hallways, or up in the attic…
I tell you, I read that and I was ecstatic!

So when she came home, bounding in through the door,
(Heading straight for the ball that she’d left on the floor)
There was no doggy smell to importune my nose,
She was shiny and silky and fresh as a rose!

This was a result! But she looked all lopsided,
“Ah well,” said our friend,”It would seem she decided
Enough was enough, and her patience diminished,
She’d not let me near her… she’s only half finished.”

I quite understood, as she’ll not let me near her
With scissors or clippers, or things that might shear her,
As she has four legs, she runs faster than me
And will thwart all my efforts to groom easily.

And yet, we are grateful, the small dog and I,
To the young man with scissors, determined to try,
For though she’s lopsided, the dog at my feet,
For once in her lifetime smells perfectly sweet.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
This entry was posted in Dogs, Photography, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

74 Responses to The asymmetric small dog (or half a job well done…)

  1. The Militant Negro says:

    Reblogged this on The Militant Negroβ„’.


  2. Ritu says:

    Aw! Ani! So cute! Even lop-sided, you look (and smell) beautiful!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. barbtaub says:

    Hilarious! Ani (as always) rules.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, the aroma of dog. πŸ™‚


  5. jenanita01 says:

    I can still recall the battles (and smells) of caring for a dog!


  6. Mary Smith says:

    I’m not sure Ani agress with that she smells sweet! I bet she’s plotting to find a well to smell more doggy.


  7. ksbeth says:

    so funny and cute –


  8. Thank the gods for short coats! I can honestly say, neither Pearl nor I have ever had a bath.


  9. scifihammy says:

    Charming! πŸ˜€


  10. Marcia says:

    Really love this one, Sue! FUN!! πŸ™‚ And lop-sided or not, Ani’s always the sweetest looking little mischief maker, ever!


  11. Darlene says:

    She is adorable and IΒ΄m sure she will even out soon. So nice she has been bathed! Dot isnΒ΄t keen either.


  12. bobcabkings says:

    Her pictures here seem to suggest that Ani may not be quite a pleased as you are with her cleansed condition, but as you say, she will surely find a remedy once outside.


  13. jenniesisler says:

    Such an awesome poem! What sort of dog is sweet Ani? She’s gorgeous, lopsided hairdo or not.


  14. Lyn Horner says:

    Even lopsided she’s adorable! Have you ever tried to bathe a cat? Not fun!


  15. Widdershins says:

    A lopsided dog is better than a smelly one. πŸ™‚


  16. Eliza Waters says:

    Aw, a lovely treat for you to come home to, Sue. Who cares if she is lopsided? πŸ˜‰


  17. Anne Copeland says:

    This is so humorous and wonderful! Loved it. I just finished washing all five of our chichihuas (one is part husky, we believe because of his eccentric habits and the way he talks to us). He is our foster child and the chunkiest of all the dogs and the most humorous. Anyway, I washed them all in the kitchen sink rather than trying to get down to bathtub level, and my Richard helped me, taking them in the towels once I got them all showered and rinsed. Two of them did the running up and down the hallway, sliding into everything and doing the happy dance, and the others shivered even when dry and cuddled up on the couch under some blankets. It was a joyful thing all the way around. We have two cats too, but they won’t get baths. I think they are quite ok as they are.


  18. I love the way the dogs smell after grooming. And I’m very pro clipping. They don’t need the extra hair. It just makes them dirtier.


  19. dgkaye says:

    You’re still cute Ani, despite the lopsided cut, but you now smell lovely too. πŸ™‚ ❀


  20. Adele Marie says:

    Okay how did he manage the bath and can he come and do Dante? xxx


  21. Pingback: Writing Links…5/28/18 – Where Genres Collide

  22. You do find the most endearing photographs of Ani to share, Sue.


  23. gincorgi says:



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