Panic in the dressing room…

It’s been one of those days where you’re glad when its done;
The glacial warehouse had opened at one
I had gone for my costume, that still didn’t fit,
And I stood while she pulled, tucked and pinned it a bit.

I’d ordered it months ago, thinking ahead,
No panic, this April, be ready instead…
But last minute mayhem once more has ensued
And if she can’t sort out the sewing…I’m screwed.

The pattern, you see, had ignored that I’m small,
I’m vertically challenged, a bit under-tall…
The bodice, therefore, was not much to my taste
With the neckline descending too close to my waist.

The waistline itself sat quite well…on my hips!
“Hold steady,” she said through the pins in her lips,
“I don’t understand, it is really quite strange.
Can you still move your arms? No? I’ll just rearrange…”

The bodice moved north, which was all well and good,
And it brought up the waist so it sat where it should,
But the measurements, falsified by meagre height,
Now left me bare shouldered, it still wasn’t right.

She tugged and she pinned at the fabric once more,
Till the floor-sweeping velvet did not touch the floor.
With the stuff sticking out all around here and there,
Instead of quite shapely, I now looked quite… square.

And I know I’ve lost weight! I’d been feeling much slimmer,
Yet felt like a turkey all trussed up for dinner.
As I stood bundled up in my satins and laces,
My nerves were on edge, being put through their paces.

With one week to go, well…my courage may falter,
Can she pull it off? Can she tweak, stitch and alter?
Will it all turn out right on the night, or the day?
Should I panic instead… and start trawling ebay?

For comfort and vanity both have their uses,
You get them just right and the creative juices
Can really start flowing and carry the day…
And leave you in peace to get on with the play.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
This entry was posted in Humour, Poetry, The Silent Eye and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

60 Responses to Panic in the dressing room…

  1. Darlene says:

    I just love this! I too am “vertically challenged, a bit under-tall” and things often need adjusting. Well put, had me in stitches!! (pun intended)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. janmalique says:

    Your presence next week will inhabit that costume splendidly Sue.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jenanita01 says:

    I have the other kind of problem, being far too tall for my own good. No one seems to make trousers long enough, and I am now totally fed up looking… time to get the sewing machine out (if I can remember how to use it!)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mary Smith says:

    We want photos! ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. The Owl Lady says:

    Being a dressmaker I can relate to your plight. I’m had women bring me gowns or dresses that were either too small for them and they expected me to work miracles. Sometimes I could other times no way. Or I’d get women with gowns that were much too big and would require me to actually take the entire gown apart and cut it down to size.
    Your poem brought back my memories of my dressmaking days. Thank you, Sue.
    Hugz to you and Ani! @v@ โค


    • Sue Vincent says:

      That’s a skill I have always admired… I sew with burnt thread, as my granny used to say.

      The problem here was that te costume was being made to measure…. ๐Ÿ˜‰ xxx


  6. buffalopound says:

    Break a leg – you just may if the costume doesn’t fit right! ๐Ÿ˜‰


  7. Susan Scott says:

    clever verse Sue! Hope it works out in the end …


  8. dgkaye says:

    Love the term Sue – under tall, lol. โค


  9. Hugs! Hope it fits! I have this issue when I have to go to any public events where you need to dress up, lol. I never seem to lose the weight that plagues me though I did lose fifty last year. This thyroid keeps me from losing any lately though.


  10. Widdershins says:

    You’re going to be the belle of the ball. ๐Ÿ˜€


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