Like most mothers, I have been the recipient of some strange gifts in my time. When children are young, what seems appropriate in their eyes may seem downright bizarre to an adult observer not privy to the inner workings of their imagination. By the time your children reach adulthood, it is to be expected that the gifts settle into more conventional channels. The experience of those early years, however, may occasionally still stand you in good stead. Which is why, instead of being as confused as the dog by the significance of my son’s latest gift, I was jubilant.
He gave me a stone.
Not, I hasten to add, a scintillating gem set in gold or silver. Just a small, ordinary-looking lump of rock, very light and with a curious texture. It appears to be solidified lava. In reality, it is something infinitely more precious.
For the past couple of weeks I have been bursting with the desire to spill the proverbial beans, but as this was an experiment with the potential to go horribly wrong, I restrained my fingers from tapping out the tale.
Nick has made no secret of his desire to go travelling and see something of the world and its people. It is a desire shared by many, but for most of us it is the demands of the daily grind and our personal commitments that hold us back. For Nick, there is the additional set of problems caused by the effects of serious brain injury and severely reduced mobility. He had no idea if he could travel without extensive planning and preparation, as well as taking a carer with him…and that is not the same thing at all.
There was only one way to find out. He booked the cheapest flight he could find and a hotel…and left in the middle of the night for Tenerife. Alone.
Nick doesn’t want to be just a tourist. Beyond appreciating its beauty, he has no interest in just looking at a new place; he wants to be able to get to know it and its people.
There are unseen side-effects both from brain injury and the isolation that disability can impose. The first twenty-four hours after his arrival were pretty dire, both for Nick and for me, waiting anxiously on the end of the phone. That first night, after his call, I was ready to go and get an emergency passport… and waiting for tragedy to knock on the door.
The fatigue of the journey was compounded by obstructive and officious officials, transport unable to carry the exceedingly heavy electric wheelchair he was obliged to use and the isolation of finding himself alone in a strange country whose language he could not speak. I remembered the appalling loneliness I had felt for a while when I first went to live overseas and was seriously worried.
By the end of the second day, I had just about started to breathe again. Over the next few days, possibilities began to unfold for Nick and he grasped them with both hands. He did things that should not have been possible. Some of them were very simple things, to most of us. What is more natural, after all, in a seaside resort, than sitting on a beach or swimming in the sea? Not as easy as it sounds when you cannot walk and the electric wheelchair you are obliged to use weighs so much it would immediately sink on sand. But he found a way.
No doubt he will write about his adventures on his blog. Much of what he achieved has to do with his own determination to Live with a capital ‘L’. The rest has to do with people…and it was his desire to interact with people that was spurring Nick onwards. Because he reached out, people were ready to help him reach his goal, ready with shoulders to get him up…and off… the mountain, in both the literal and metaphorical sense.
Without a doubt it was one such act of reaching out that was to have the biggest impact on my son. He met a couple of street-musicians and started talking to them. Between my Parisian days and his father’s music, the Bohemian life is in his blood… perhaps that explains what happened next. Nick made a generous gesture that could have led to disillusion and disappointment, but led instead to what he describes as some of the ‘best times of his life’ as he was made part of that Bohemian community for the remainder of his stay. For his final day, the cumbersome, untransportable wheelchair was left behind in favour of willing shoulders for an impromptu fiesta and jam session, high in the mountains, at the home of a local singer.
He had also found shoulders to help him jump off a volcano. Which is where he picked up my stone, knowing full well that I would understand what it meant.
Like all parents, all I have ever wanted for my sons was to see them happy and fulfilled. Seven and a half years ago, I watched my sons, both of them, in Hell… and watched, helpless, as they began to claw their way out after the attack that left Nick so severely disabled. I saw them both broken and have watched them both battle their way through the unseen fallout that is, perhaps, far worse than the physical, visible effects themselves. Though I say it rarely, and although I can have always seen the light in this apparent darkness, there has been a heavy weight of grief in my heart ever since.
On Christmas morning this year, I watched my younger son playing with his beautiful little daughter. His eyes soften and fill with tenderness when he looks at her or speaks of her. He smiles, with love for her shining about him, the way he shone for Nick in the hospitals.
When I came home, it was to cook a Christmas lunch to share with Nick. My own eyes fell on the stone he had given me and filled with tears.
Hope, after all, is a priceless gift.
You can now read Nick’s own account of his adventures here.
For those who do not know Nick’s incredible story, you can follow the links in the post, visit his blog or read it here along with details of a continuing campaign to raise funds towards the cost of an amazing off-road machine that allows those with mobility problems to access places normally inaccessible to wheelchair users.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
And in the end, the value of an object has nothing to do with it’s saleability. You have an amazing family.
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I am very proud off my sons…but, you know that ❤
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I read your son’s story, Sue, and it is incredible. I am so delighted for you all that both your sons are leading happy and fulfilling lives. I guess that is what we all strive for as moms.
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Happiness is hard won, Robbie, but I am watching them heal, little by little. Though some scars will never go away entirely, thay are the darkness against which the light shows.
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What a beautiful post…
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Sons, they have that effect sometimes 😉 x
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Oh I understand… having my own lil man!
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I rather thought you might 🙂
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😊
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I teared as I read – tears of hope and joy and admiration for Nick’s courage and gosh-darned affability. GREAT post, Sue.
Onward and upward!
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
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Upward seems to be something Nick is fond of 😉 xx
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Indeed! And he is stunning in his ability to keep going in an upward direction – physically and emotionally.
xx,
mgh
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Let’s see where it takes him 🙂 xx
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All over the world, I’m sure! He’s amazing.
xx,
mgh
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Oh yes 🙂 xxx
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My glasses misted up a little reading this.
Such a wonderful, positive and uplifting story! Thank you so much for sharing x
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He frequently does that to me too, El x
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these gifts are immeasurable and miraculous.
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They really are.
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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I can hardly see to type, and my fingers stumble on the keys… Nick’s determination and courage leave me breathless, and I couldn’t be any prouder of his accomplishments. God knows how much the sight of that rock affected you!
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It was touch and go to begin with… but such a triumphant return 🙂
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I’ll bet!
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What A Life. ❤ Nick knows how to live.
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Oh yes 😉
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Bravo for Nick! What courage it took for a trip like that. It is a beautiful, beautiful rock. 🙂
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I thought so too 🙂
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Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
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Thanks, Kate x
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How fantastic! We see bad news all day so we think everyone is, but there are so many good people out there who far outweigh the bad. What a great Christmas gift :0)
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It was, Kate, for both him and for me 🙂
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Oh, Sue. Lump in my throat and tears in my eyes – happy tears. Now I understand your cryptic tweet about needing to blog about your Christmas. What an amazing young man Nick is. Both your sons are amazing. I’m looking forward to reading Nick’s post.
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When he gets round to writing it, si am I Mary. Doubtless he will share some of his fabulous pictures too 🙂
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Fantastic! Such a beautiful family and so determined. I hope 2017 brings even more great experiences for Nic and the rest of the family, Sue.
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I have no doubt it will, Olga. He is not one to sit back for too long 🙂
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I found it hard to finish reading this post with the words swimming around like happy fish. My heart warmed to read that Nick has fulfilled his dream of travelling and I fully understand the meaning of that rock. Wishing you all joy, healing and happiness for 2017. 💗
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Thank you, Eloise. This, I feel, is just a beginning for my son 🙂
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How wonderful. You are all a truly inspiring family. xx
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Thank you. x
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Nick has such wonderful determination and follow through. His gift to you was beautiful and a conformation that he can and will live a full and exciting life. As mothers or at least I speak for myself, when I close my eyes for the last time I want to know my children will be fine and then and only then I shall close my eyes with a smile. I think that little rock speaks volumes. Your sons are amazing, you can smile now, xo
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I was grinning like a lunatic when Nick emailed me the pictures of his flight, Patricia. 🙂 That desire to see them happy never fades, I think, but sometimes we just know it will be alright x
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I am glad there was a happy ending.
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I doubt if he’s finished yet 🙂
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oooh . . .intriguing!
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Indeed 🙂
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That was a wonderful gift, with a story all it’s own. Thank you so much for sharing your sons with us.
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It was indeed a wonderful gift…and just the first chapter of a new tale, I hope. 🙂
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A truly amazing man. Bless him and all of you ❤
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Thank you, Dorinda. He really is 🙂
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Thank you for sharing his stories. It’s so inspirational! ❤
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I hope he’ll b making many more for me to write 🙂
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His determination will always be something to write about. I get goose bumps thinking about it!
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I wonder ‘what next’ sometimes 😉
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That is completely wonderful, Sue. I am so pleased for Nick, and for you xx
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Isn’t it? 🙂 xx
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It really is. Smiling all over the place wonderful 🙂
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🙂 xx
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Nick continues to inspire. I am so excited to read about his recent successful foray. Go, Nick, go! So many times I wonder about him and have to patiently wait for news. Today’s post didn’t disappoint. Send him my regards!
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He’ll be reading the comments, I think, Eliza. I’d been really itching to share this one 🙂
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They always say if you want to do something, impossibility will not stop you. Glad he found his way!!
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So am I, Traci. He sems to be able to manage impossible 😉
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What a beautiful heartfelt and uplifting post Sue. Nick is truly amazing. ❤
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Thanks, Debby…he does amaze me sometimes 😉
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🙂
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As I read this I was covered in goosebumps, the good kind. So proud that he stepped out and so proud that he found people who were kindred spirits with him. I pray that wherever he travels kindred spirits will always be found. x
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So do I, Adele. I think if you are really open to meeting people, they always are 🙂
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Way To Go, Dude!!! 😀
Ani approves of the rock, I see. 😀
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🙂 She was curious 🙂
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Wow, that rock symbolises so much. I am so thrilled for Nick that the first leg of his adventures got off (finally) to a wonderful start. Can’t wait to see what else he gets up to! 🙂
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Neither can I, Judy 🙂
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A perfect Christmas present, Sue! Even if Ani seems a little perplexed. And don’t worry about your son – he has an inner strength and determination to carry him through wherever he goes – not that mother’s ever stop worrying about their children. I am delighted to learn that he’s made the first step in his being out on his own and successfully, too. Go Nick!
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I doubt if we do ever stop worrying, but I have every confidence in his ability to take the next steps too. 🙂
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I brought or sent back rocks from my travels to my mom, too – but never did I travel as far, in more ways than one, as Nick has – but happy for him. And may you survive the stress of those quiet moments when he’s following his bliss to the ends of the earth! LOL
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I try not to worry too much… it wouldn’t do him or me any good. 🙂 But I look forward to increasing my collection of stones 🙂
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Worry seems to be a life long “try not to” exercise for mums, eh? Lol somedays easier than others. But cool rocks for the shelf or garden make it all better. Just ask my mom. Lol
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Reblogged this on Stuart France.
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That stone is a solid diamond! You must be very proud of your son, Sue. Btw, thanks for dropping by my blog – I’ve been a little overwhelmed lately and have not reciprocated enough. But I’m very appreciative. 💕
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It is worth more than any diamond 🙂 I am indeed very proud of him…and await his next step forward. I’ve enjoyed your posts…and have suggested my son might care to visit Greece at some point.
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That’s a brilliant idea, I’m sure he’d love it. It does, however, need some planning, since wheelchair access in Greece is rather shambolic… But if he managed in Tunisia, how much worse could it be?🌺
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I think the idea is to make the attempt at getting around where it isn’t so easy 🙂
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Greece is ideal, then, at least people are friendly
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It is the people he wants to meet 🙂
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Nick is an amazing young man and I can understand your profound mother’s hope.
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He is, Diane… and I have every confidence in his ability to continue to surprise us 🙂
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Whoa. What courage! I don’t think I have that level of gusto. I love the photos and what a perfect commentary on his journey – a man who can’t walk taking to his wings and flying!! Makes me happy. Thanks for sending the link, Sue. 😀
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Goodness only knows what he’ll get up to next 🙂
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I first became aware of you, Sue, through donating to Nick via something Diana posted some time back. And reading this made me wish I knew him. We are, it would seem, a lot alike in our view of the world, its people and travel (I never stay in the tourist areas, but “sneak” inland to see what a place is really about). And yet, he shows more courage and determination than most in pursuing his goals. I read through this once … and then read it aloud to the person next to me, because I felt it just needed to be shared.
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It was through Nick that I found your work too, Erik, and was struck by the similarities in your views. He’s planning on doing some serious travelling, bit by bit, so perhaps, one day, you can hook up somewhere.
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Your son is incredible. What I say here is nothing you haven’t been told. You raised a good man. Is gift is beautiful. Thank you for not stopping him from following his dream no matter how scary it is for you.
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Why would I stop him from doing what I would love to do myself 🙂
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Simply because you want to know your baby is safe at all times…at least that’s how my mom is about my entire venture! Its almost like she tries to scare me out of it.
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I may feel that way about my sons too..but I am more likely to tell them to follow their heart than their head. Too late comes too fast 😉
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That’s is too true! There’s not enough time to be fearful
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No, there is never enough time and it runs out way too fast 🙂
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