For the past few weeks I’ve been bugged.
No, not, unfortunately, by some dashing Man In Black listening avidly for my slightest word… (though who knows, given some of the things in the search history of any writer…) but by one of those insidious viruses that take up residence and show little desire to move out. It is the season for such things and the normal course of action is to have a good moan, feel miserable for a few days, then get back to normal as quickly as possible. This time, however, there has been an unexpected consequence though one, I hope that will sort itself out in due course. I’ve gone deaf.
My hearing in that ear has been less than perfect for some time, and I long ago realised that I lip-read a lot, so I’m coping well enough. Just frustrated. I sincerely hope that it will resolve itself when the bug finally vacates the premises, as it is very strange to hear more of what is going on inside my head than out, especially as that is a very strange landscape in there… It also makes pinpointing the direction of sounds quite difficult and gives me a glimpse of real understanding of how hard it is for those with impaired hearing to distinguish voices against background noise. Loud noise is, oddly enough, even worse than usual and bombards the senses in an unpleasant way. I’ve twice slept through my alarm clock and missed a number of phone calls because I simply haven’t heard the darned thing ring. In fact, the only thing I can hear perfectly is the tinnitus… and that I could live without. Except it won’t go away.
On the other hand… and there is always another side to the equation… it have noticed the detail in sound far more than usual. Maybe I am just paying it more attention. And one of the things that has struck me most forcibly is the music of nature.
I was standing in my son’s garden… the human world quiet, the holiday silence held the roads in stillness. There was the rock dove in the tree was repeating its distinctive, melodic call, the waterfall was a variable constant, the stream another. Robins and blackbirds sang and wind rustled in the branches and few remaining leaves. As I turned my head, this way and that to listen with the one working ear, sounds came into focus or were hushed adding yet another dimension to the song.
In those quiet moments of focus, you could understand where Man had first heard music and why he had sought to capture its magic for his own. Nature has a whole orchestra at her disposal… we have a voice to add to her song.
We hear… most of us… all the time, but it was borne in upon me in those few moments of music-filled ‘silence’, how little we actually listen. I’ve lived with this song in my ears all my life… and although I have listened to the birds and the wind and the water, I have heard them as individual beauties, never as a symphony of sound… and running through that song, a trill of laughter at the paradox that made me deaf in order to hear.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Lovely bird shots. I hope you retain that hearing
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Thanks Derrick… I’d rather like my hearing back, but I’m happy to have had this reminder 🙂
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Tinnitus is a real bugger. I had it as a child but grew out of it somehow. I recall being highly agitated by it and unable to explain what was happening to my parents. I was even more agitated by the fact that everyone…sisters, aunts, cousins, grandparents kept insisting I was complaining for attention. Hope it clears up. Love your beautiful pics as always.
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I’ve had the tinnitus for a very long time. You learn how to ‘cover’ it… sort of. Sometimes it drives you nuts. Those who haven’t ‘heard’ it, don’t realise how its persistence gets to you… the deafness has made it loud. I too hope it clears up! 🙂
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Pingback: Listening in | oshriradhekrishnabole
Thank you!
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I hope you’re soon back on top form Sue. Being ‘bugged’ like that is debilitating.
Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
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Thanks David.. And you too xxx
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Ah my dear, we are two peas in a pod. I’ve been mired in the muck and lost hearing in an ear too … I did think it strange but there are worse things. I’m noticing, since I too have that drafted ringing, that things are nice a little less noisy. And nothing to be done anyway, the nature of the beast I fear! Hoping for you a lovely new year with either restored hearing, more birds that sing or all of it together! xx
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I think, given a preference, I’ll go for all of them together and be greedy 🙂 Happy new year to you too x
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I do hate spellcheck thingies and that was meant to read DRATTED! Haha, what to do what to do!
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The spell check is the bane of my life x
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oh I know what you are saying about virus thing from hell. i keep getting mine back despite pills and potions. I also know what you mean about not hearing the whole symphony of nature. A wonderful post and I hope you get better soon.
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There are some nasty ones about this year. Hope yours goes away soon! Happy new year, Adele.
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Thanks Sue, happy new year too you as well.
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🙂
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It is amazing what you discover in the direst of circumstances… still looking for something in mine, but its early days yet! Hope you feel better soon…
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I feel much better… But I’d like the hearing back 😉
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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Thank you x
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As someone who’s been partially deaf in one ear all my life, I understand some of your frustrations. Heathen that I am, I’ve never experienced the revelations you have recently. It’s good that you’ve found something positive from it – though I hope it’s only temporary.
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That’s probably why… if you are used the world the way it is, you notice less..it’s only when it changes that you see the details in relief.
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Tinnitus is horrendous isn’t it? I have had it for years and it always seems to be worse when I am not well. I hope you soon get your hearing back Sue. 🙂
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It is… I don’t know whether it is because our focus shifts, but it does seem worse when you’re off colour.
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Feel better soon. Good point on how people hear things, but don’t really listen. Humans seem to be trained from birth to be in a rush and take only a sampling of their surroundings.
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I learning to slow down a bit and listen to the flowers grow 🙂
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Heh. In April I can see and hear the lawn growing like mad — and laughing at me 🙂
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That is true… though mine hasn’t stopped growing with the mild weather… and laughs because it is too wet to cut 🙂
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I’m sorry to hear about the tinnitus, Sue. It can’t be an easy thing to have to cope with day in, day out. I hope it will ease a lot once you get over the virus. I guess it is a small silver lining, though, that it helped focus your attention more directly on some of the beautiful sounds of nature. 🙂
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Those few moments actually hearing such beauty were such a gift. 🙂 Almost worth it 🙂
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There’s so much beauty in nature, but because we’re such visual creatures, my guess is that most of us tend to think mainly about the beauty we can see. Perhaps it requires unusual circumstances to get us to notice other kinds of beauty. 🙂
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I think that was the point of the experience… a real wake-up call. No matter how much I appreciate the song of the thrush or the chatter of a brook, I’d never realised they sang together until I was ‘forced’ into listening 🙂
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A kind of natural symphony, just as you said. 🙂
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🙂
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Just be careful. A month ago I had aslight wax build-up in my ears, it caused me enough disorientation to the world that I tripped on nothing and fell flat on my face, chipping several teeth and acquiring a number of injuries. That being said, I already can’t see anything at all, so my ears are my eyes. But seriously, move slowly. I heard once that tinnitus itself can cause deafness. You’ve probably already checked it out, but sometimes there’s surgeries to correct tinnitus and some forms of hearing loss depending on the cause. Sorry if I’m being overly concerned. Sending light to you. 🙂
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Bless you, Eilis, what a terrible thing to happen! I do hope you are okay!
Thank you for your concern, I have been seen by the hospital for the tinnitus some time ago, and they are aware of the ‘usual’ hearing loss. I’ll just be glad if the usual hurries up and gets back to its normal levels 🙂
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Had tinnitus since my early thirties and slowly going deaf this last decade. I value sound so much and some frequencies, like birdsong, waterfalls wind in trees, stand out from the background blur.
May you get your ears back in fullness soon. 😀
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I’ve had some hearing loss for a while too… though this was literally overnight…and I haven’t heard bats for a decade or two. It would be nice to hear at my normal levels though 🙂
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My spouse has similar issues. His doctor says it’s from heavy metal buildup in the body (worse as we age). He has to undergo chelation treatment to hopefully alleviate the deafness and tinnitus. I wonder if the same is with you?
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Wouldn’t surprise me, but they are unlikely to even test for it here while you are still upright.
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😦 Yes, sadly, a lot of naturopathic care we get here comes out of pocket, which can be expensive, but we figure the alternative is not acceptable or worth the risk.
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It isn’t even easy to find a more natural alternative here unfortunately.
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There aren’t many here either. The AMA and FDA are powerful and are bound with big Pharma. A naturopath has to be very dedicated to practice within their prescribed boundaries. But I swear the natural, plant-based medicines heal better than the pharma ones, which often have side affects for which they then prescribe more drugs. It is a mess and the whole system needs an overhaul. I am grateful that we have found medical pros that we feel comfortable with and respect our beliefs.
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France was the best for that where so many of the doctors are also trained in homeopathy and herbals.
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We’ve got a ways to go with plenty of room for improvement!
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We have… and the sooner the better for me!
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“I have heard them as individual beauties, never as a symphony of sound…”
I loved this. 🙂
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Listening to it in that way was a real privilege, Carol.
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I’m starting to have a bit. Subtle enough that I can’t pinpoint if it’s one ear or both, and only when it goes very quiet. I had an odd thought today: “It’s sonar!” And this was followed by an even odder thought about humans and vestigial echolocation talents. Going batty, literally?? ;-P I’ve also noticed that if I concentrate on it it is more annoying and if I sort of roll with it it quiets down. So far. Keeping my fingers crossed. My doctor dutifully noted it in my health notes but said NOTHING about what to do, or not, about it. Hope it clears up for you asap!!!
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The tinnitus isn’t going anywhere… I’ve had that for years and it isn’t nice. Sorry you have it, Darcy! There isn’t a huge amount you CAN do except ignore it. Diligently 🙂 Mind, I wish it was sonar… I wouldn’t lose stuff as easily 😉
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Mind you, keeping regular with my blood pressure pills does seem to help at times!!
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It would… it isn’t something I have a problem with. Mine tends to the low side.
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Beautiful bird pics. I believe we all listen but very rarely hear what is going on around us. We become accustomed the the background noise and never really register it.
Whilst I hope you get your hearing back soon, it has at least highlighted the symphony of nature that we are surrounded by. Enjoy.
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It’s the paying attention to what we hear that was lacking, I found 😉
Happy new year, Darren 🙂
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Happy New Year, Sue 🙂🙃
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🙂
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HAPPY NEW YEAR, SUE.
WE BOTH SEEM TO BE ‘BUGGED’ – BUT THIS TOO SHALL PASS! MAY 2016 BRING YOU GOOD HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND JOY.
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To you too, Michael… and hopefully a rapid passing of bugs 😉
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