5.30 am. Sunlight streams through the bedroom window, caressing my face with the promise of summer. Wake up, long, leisurely stretch, open eyes… okay, maybe not. Swollen again…sighs.  They are going to look awful, I can tell. Ice packs at dawn. Oh well… I’m getting used to it by now. Or should be. They didn’t feel right yesterday.  Ok, if the doctors can’t help, maybe it is time I saw an optician again. Adds to mental ‘to do’ list.

5.35 Roll over, foot to floor… scream quietly.. not a good move apparently. Painkillers for breakfast. Again.

Try again. Open eyes warily. Squint at toe. Not a good colour, but what the hell. It is mine and it stays. Fusing it may well be an option, but a cyst in the bone makes that an uncertain outcome. It stays. I’ll hobble. Call me old fashioned, but I am quite happy with ten toes.

Scratch back of hand absently.. erk.. Also swollen, with a surgically precise puncture over the vein. Bitten! Ruddy mosquitoes! The first sign of sun and that’s it. I’m breakfast. Attempts to remove ring before it gets worse fail dismally.

The sole of one foot and the left ear too. Wonderful. That’s a great start to the week… I feel as if I have gone ten rounds in a boxing ring already .. probably look like it too… I haven’t made it to the mirror yet. Probably wise.

5.45. Coffee. I need coffee. And antihistamines. And ice.

Cuddle dog while kettle boils and computer wakes up. Open garden door. Sit in sunshine with coffee and dog, it is a beautiful day. The honeysuckle is in flower, the roses in bloom and there are bees in the foxgloves. Grab camera. Dog terrorises strawberries and stalks me with ball.

6.00 Upload pics, check phone, answer texts and emails. Begin induction of new student. More coffee and the pills. Dog puts soggy ball on my lap.

06.45 Shower, dress, walk doglet. Chase small dog who doesn’t want to come back. She thinks it is fun. And there was a pheasant. Should have brought the ball.

07.45 Tea and emails. Apply more ice. Reynaud’s reminds me my fingers don’t like ice. Freeze cotton wool instead. Dog stalks me with ball.

08.00 Feed dog, pay bills, stalk dog with ball… it’s quieter than her objections to the birds.

08.15 Housework and coffee. Then to my son’s to get on with his and feed the fish. Via doctors to chase up hospital. And supermarket.

Monday morning. One of those recurrent moments that evoke mixed feelings in so many of us. For me, at present, it is no different from any other morning, as I work across the seven days. Yet the habit of a conventional working life still views Mondays askance. It is odd that after four years that habit has not died. It makes me wonder how many other unnecessary habits I still cling to long after the need for them is gone. They become so much a part of us that we don’t even notice their presence, nor do we question it.

A bit like a certain small dog and her tennis balls… focussing on one thing when there are so many other possibilities.

Like the clutter that builds up in a home over the years.. the things we ‘might need’ or simply do not throw away or recycle.. stuff just accumulates in our personal make-up and we take its presence for granted rather than asking ourselves if we could put the space left by its absence to better use. Or just enjoy the freedom from it.

Maybe a bit of mental housework is in order today too….