At the end of December I published my first poetry book, “battle scars”, on Amazon. I began writing a couple of years ago as a coping mechanism, the complicated nature of poetry helping me convey the darker thoughts in my mind that I did not wish to speak aloud. I found a beauty in poetry, an ability to express myself in a way that I was scared to do with speech and in person. I began a WordPress blog, posting every once in a while as a kind of release. The more I wrote, the better I felt, and so I kept going. I started writing more and more frequently, finding myself carrying a pen and paper around with me all the time. I remember nights as I was trying to sleep, my mind would give me a poem, and I would be forced to grab my paper and write it down, quickly, or else I would forget the words and they would be lost. It was like this voice had come inside me, quietly urging me to write, feeding me lines of poetry.
The more I wrote, the more my friends and family took notice as well. Eventually, some of them found my blog and began to reach out, telling me they connected to something I wrote or felt they could relate to a poem. I was terrified. Terrified at having someone read my work, but also humbled. Humbled by the fact that I could convey an emotion I was feeling and have someone else benefit from the message.
It had always been a dream of mine to publish a book and eventually something just clicked and I thought; “Why not make it a poetry book?” So I began the process of editing, organizing and compiling all of my poems into something more tangible than blog posts. I don’t think I really realized what I was doing until I received the first proof of my book – seeing all of my poems, basically my diary, from the past year and a half bound together as a book, well, it scared the crap out of me.
I think that was the first moment it really sunk in – I was going to have a book and other people were going to be able to read it. But I just kept reminding myself of my goal; I wanted other people to read it. I wanted other people to be able to relate, to see that no matter what they were going through, they were not alone. So I forced myself to post on social media, letting the world know that I would be publishing a book, and I was met with overwhelming support. I don’t think I could have followed through with publishing my book had it not been for my friends and family. And honestly, the book was for them. It served as my re-entrance into society. It connected me with friends I had lost contact with. It gave me a new voice I had been so scared to show and for that I am truly grateful.
To any of the lovely souls who take the time to read my book, please know how eternally grateful I am. Your support and feedback mean the world to me.
Battle Scars is a tribute to the pain and suffering that happens beneath the surface of a smile. A smile we so cautiously adorn to mask the truth, but sometimes life just isn’t going the way you want it to, sometimes life is hard. This collection of poetry explores life through Jordan’s eyes, with the hope that someone, somewhere, might be able to relate to the meaning of her words and find solace in the comfort of knowing that they are not alone.
About the author
Jordan released her debut poetry collection, battle scars, at age 19 after maintaining a WordPress poetry blog for a year. She currently attends Penn State University where she is attempting a degree in Biomedical and Mechanical engineering and writes for their school newspaper. Her biggest writing accomplishment would undeniably have to be her piece on Jesse McCartney because it has (hopefully) set her one step closer to meeting Justin Bieber.
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