I don’t know what I want any more.
I think it’s whatever I am doing at the time, be it watching tv or reading a book but I might as well be reading it upside down for all the good it is doing me.
I want to be everywhere at once, doing ten things at the same time. It doesn’t matter where I am, indoors or outside, nothing holds my mind for longer than five minutes.
There are days when I would like to be someone other than me. Someone who can sing and dance or stay out late at night. At the same time, I know it’s not going to satisfy my wanting for long. My mind is fragmented and there seems to be multiple parts of myself.
Maybe it is old age, thinking about things you could have done, or wish you had done?
Thank God these days don’t come around too often. Do you ever get days like this?
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About the author
Hi, my name is Anita and although I am 71, I am by no means a ‘silver surfer’. I have been writing fiction novels for a while now, but never managed to be picked up by any of the mainstream publishers. They all said they loved what I wrote, but found it hard to slot them into a category! It came tantalisingly close, but no cigar, as they say.
I realised I would have to try something else. I saved all of the rejection letters, because most of them had very encouraging comments. If my mother had slapped me as gently when I was a child, it wouldn’t have hurt half as much!
I even wrote to James Herbert once in desperation and he was so kind and supportive, it gave me the inspiration to continue writing.
Now I am retired and with the help of my sister-in-law Jaye, (who has learnt to be a ‘surfer’) we decided to dust off some of my manuscripts and try to achieve the impossible with a second chance to find out if anyone out there likes the kind of books I write…
How do I write?
I am a paper and pencil girl. You could chain me to a computer for years and nothing would happen! Jaye, on the other hand is managing to cope with all the editing and marketing, but then she has far more patience than I do. (And she is as stubborn as a mule which helps a lot!)
They say you are never too old to learn, but in my case never is another word for infinity!
What made me want to write?
I love music, especially country music. It always seems to take me to where my own hurt lives. Songs about heartache help my pen run along the paper, almost as though the pain writes the words.
How do I find my characters?
They tend to find me. I was listening to ‘Ruby, don’t take your love to town’ sung by Kenny Rogers and a few days later the characters for Bad Moon popped into my head and just took over. I seem to have an affinity with West Virginia and the people who live there. Just hearing the way they talk makes a connection in my head, maybe I lived there once in another life.
It was the same with The Scarlet Ribbon. The words of that song put the characters in my head and they pulled me in.
Not so sure where the idea for Simple came from, even though it is a similar story to Bad Moon, but there was a girl at school when I was eleven who had a bad stammer, and I often wonder what became of her.
The books I like to read…
I love the stories of Merlin and Arthur, but my reading list covers a wide range of genres. One of my all-time favourites is ‘River God’ by Wilbur Smith, the character of Taita really spoke to me.
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How lovely to take the constructive comments out of rejection letters and use them to advantage 😊
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Better than the alternative, don’t you think? I was grateful they bothered to comment, really…
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Agreed! 😊
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I love Bad Moon, I am halfway through at the moment. xxx
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I do hope you are enjoying Bad Moon, Adele…
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I am enjoying Bad Moon, I love the voices and the descriptions, the story line is intriguing.
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So glad to hear that you are enjoying Bad Moon, it’s an unusual and powerful story, as is Simple, the book that followed it.
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I’m going to read that one after I’ve finished Bad Moon. xxx
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Really looking forward to hearing what you think of them… XXX
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Thank you. xxx
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I sure do have days like that, Anita, but in the end I go back to writing and escape into my characters’ world. That usually settles me down – unless I get stuck on a plot point, as I am right now. The rest of my day will be spent working past that sticking point. Then the joy of writing will overcome all dissatisfaction with life.
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Yes, writing has saved my mental bacon so many times. Makes you wonder how non- writers cope!
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I do indeed have many days like that, Anita. It’s very unsettling. I hope your world calms down soon.
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So do I, but escaping into fiction, either my WIP or someone else’s, keep me reasonably sane!
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I certainly do have days like that. Thankfully not too often.
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How do you cope?
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Reblogged this on Stevie Turner and commented:
To answer Anita Dawes’ question – yes, I also get days like that, so you’re not the only one!
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Thanks for sharing Anita’s post, Stevie!
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You’re welcome.
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thank you again, Sue for having me as a guest, I have thoroughly enjoyed my visit!
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My pleasure, Anita! You areboth most welcome here, any time.
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Great post Anita. You are not alone. We all have those kind of days. And glad to hear you’re another paper and pen girl like me. I have never written any of my books or even blog posts for that matter, on the computer. First drafts are done by hand and revisions begin when I enter into the computer. 🙂 ❤
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Wonderfully inspiring post. It is never to late to write or to follow a passion. 🙂
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Reblogged this on M J Mallon Author and commented:
Wonderfully inspiring guest post by Anita Dawes at Sue Vincent’s blog. It is never too late to follow a dream.
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Thanks for sharing, Marje 🙂
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My pleasure Sue. 🙂
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Yes, I do as well, although I always start the day with a workout and meditation, and that tends to calm me down (and tire me) a bit. Thanks, Anita.
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Nice post, Anita. This happens to me when I have to much on my mind. It is almost like overload.
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