Well, I am finally home! I thought she would never come and get me… It really takes the biscuit when she takes sooo long to comeback. But she says she had to go and see her grandpuppy, you know, the one I introduced to the pond, ’cause she’s been really poorly and had to go in one of those things with sirens to the Big Two-Legs’ Vets, so I s’ppose I’ll let her off.
Anyway, everyone is home again now and our little girlie pup is doing fine, she says… which is good, ’cause no-one wants to be poorly at Christmas.
So, she said she was sorry for not being there and gave me some nice chicken for dinner, and played ball and cuddled me after our walk, just by way of an apology. So I can’t complain… just as long as she doesn’t have anything sneaky up her sleeve… She keeps talking about putting the tree up…and we all know what happened last time she did that…
Still, I’m not the only four-legs with problematical two-legses. Roxy has the same stuff to deal with… and she wrote to Santa about it too and sent me a copy of her letter to share. Roxy’s two-legs is Judy Martin… just so you know who is to blame….
Roxy’s Letter to Santa
I have been such a good girl
All throughout the year
I only had a few licks
Stolen from Daddy’s beer
I’ve even worn the jumper
That they thought was very cool
But you can see from my expression
That I felt a proper fool!
I hate this dressing up lark
They even did it at Halloween
With Devil’s horns and a stupid cloak
I really wasn’t keen
They just can’t seem to help themselves
And bought me a Santa hat
But I taught them all a lesson
When I totally savaged that
They just don’t get the message
That I really don’t want to know
When they try to dress me up in things
Or stick on a silver bow
This year would be so much better
With no ridicule and mocking
Please spare me the outfits
When you fill my Christmas stocking!!
Love Roxy x
About Roxy’s two-legs:
Judy E Martin is in her (very) early fifties and has just entered a new phase in her life. She has recently worked as an Associate Practitioner (Nursing) in the both hospital and community settings and loves it, finally finding her niche. She has just started on a new adventure as a ‘mature student’ deciding to take that final step and study for her Nursing Degree.
She has in the past, done everything from serving as a soldier in the Women’s Royal Army Corps, to helping manage a kebab shop!
Judy has been writing humorous poems since she was a little girl. She has always had a love of words and finds expressing herself through rhyme is so appealing. She enjoys the rhythm of the words as they dance to her tune.
She draws her inspiration from everyday events that most of us can relate to and puts her unique spin on it. Her large family is often her inspiration, as is the weather, the seasons, housework, even sex. No subject is safe from manipulation into verse!
Judy lives in the beautiful county of Kent with her long-suffering husband Bob, (Mr Grump), daughter Lucinda (Miss Hap), and not forgetting Roxy, the beautiful Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, all of whom have found their way into her poems.
Find and Follow Judy
A lighthearted look at life through rhyme (Rhythm and Rhyme Book 1)
Are you one of those people that barge through life, trying to get through it as best as you can, swimming against the everyday worries and stresses of life? Well, I have found a way to make it much more enjoyable.
Don’t you think everything sounds better when it rhymes? I certainly do. In fact, I have found that everything from doing the housework to growing older, can sound more positive and less daunting when made into a little ditty.
This book is about finding the humour, or raising a smile from the everyday things that we can all relate to in life, and looking at them from a different perspective. Nothing escapes versification; there is even a subject on sex! After all, that is one subject where there is plenty of room for laughter, even if it may not be the right moment!
Universal link to Rhymes of the Times
Antlers are for Reindeer!
If you would like to help save Ani from a fate (she says) worse than death, send your Letters to Santa, festive memories, short stories, flash fiction or poems to the Small Dog. She will post them every day through December until Christmas.
She would especially like to hear from her four-legged or feathered friends (she has a special place very close to her heart for turkeys)… but she says that two-legs are better than none, so she will accept submissions from humans too.
To get in touch, please use the form on the contact page or email Ani at firstname.lastname@example.org