A tale of tails

I had to clean the fish tank out
Although it’s hot and steamy…
The fish were swimming to the glass
And couldn’t really see me.

There’s one in there, a monster fish…
There’s smaller sold for cooking…
And he is such a character
You know when he is looking.

“Ahem,” said Fish as I approached,
“You’re slacking on the cleaning.
A water change would be quite nice…
If you could take my meaning….”

I took the hint, took off the lid
And started on the bailing,
It’s not a big or complex job,
It ought to be plain sailing.

The little fish all disappeared,
The big fish wasn’t moving,
He just lay on the gravel bed
And watched me, disapproving.

He wants the water clean and bright,
The filter washed and clear,
But he’s not happy when
The fish tank cleaner comes too near…

A flick of that almighty tail
He launches from the water…
And lands with such a splash
He drenches me, the dog, the mortar…

There’s fishy rivers on the wall
And splashes on the ceiling,
The dog shoots underneath the desk
And glares at me with feeling.

And me? I’m soaked from heat to foot,
My clothes will all need wringing,
And meanwhile, as I stand and drip,
The ruddy phone starts pinging…

“We have a problem, mother,
Could you bob down to my house?
I put a pint glass over it…”
The cat has caught a mouse.

“It’s squeaking, and I’ve trapped its tail,”
His phone moved so I’d hear it.
“What should I do, ’cause if I move
The cat will get too near it?”

I bit back quite discretely
All the words I’d like to say,
She’d had a frog that morning,
She kills something every day…

I love my furred and scaly friends,
But some days I could wish
I’d not got an aquarium
And had no cats or fish.


About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
This entry was posted in cats, Dogs, fish, Humour, Photography, Poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to A tale of tails

  1. Anisha says:

    Haha beautifully described…☺️☺️


  2. Hahah, love it! Hubby does our tank (yay) but I’m on poop-in-the-yard duty. I don’t know who’s got it worse!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    Love your fishy tales!


  4. noelleg44 says:

    Wonderful rhyming tale! What is it about ‘pets’ that create several crises at the same time? ANd I know where those small fish went…see that satisfied look on the monster?


  5. Running Elk says:

    Um… can I borrow the cat?!? :p


  6. Haha! Love it! Although, I’m sure it wasn’t nearly as funny to you at the time.

    Hope the mouse was OK?


  7. jenanita01 says:

    Still not sure why we insist on calling them ‘pets’…


  8. Oh, you certainly have your work cut out Sue, with one species or another! It’s a good job you are not a wimp like me, I could not have rescued the mouse!


  9. Widdershins says:

    ROFL … he put a glass over the mouse! … love it. 😀


  10. This is great, Sue. I smiled all the way through. 😀 — Suzanne


  11. macjam47 says:

    Haha! What a humorous take on a messy job. Everytime I got fish, or Hermit crabs, or lizards for my sons, I found I was the one who cleaned the tank, caught the insects, etc. I can’t believe I used to store crickets and mealy worms in my fridge. And I thought pets were supposed to teach responsibility!


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