I’ve been afraid my whole life. When I was in school, from elementary to high school, I was bullied. I came from a poor family and didn’t have the right clothes, looks, or weight. I’ve always written. I used to make movie scripts for my Barbies and my cowboys and Native Americans plastic figures. It was just something I did. I didn’t think much on it. When I went to college, I pursued my dream of Equine Science, that’s horses in case you were wondering.
Due to finances, that dream didn’t work out for me. I came home from college after a year-and-a-half, feeling like an utter failure. Seeds had been planted in me though prior to my leaving. I’d watched three films that year: Stand by Me, Dirty Dancing, and The Lost Boys. They all made an impression on me, especially Stand by Me. I’d read Stephen King’s books for years but that movie solidified it for me: I wanted to be a writer. Never mind that I had no clue, I was determined to succeed where I’d failed before.
I bought craft books and practiced writing stories. I sent some in to fanfiction magazines in that day. Some were published. I couldn’t get a handle on the bigger market though. I married late in my twenties, unfortunately, to an abusive man. He was jealous of anything that took my attention from him, so I set my plans aside. Two children and much pain later, events happened that brought something I’d been lacking my entire life to the surface: courage.
Armed with that, I slowly began to re-build mine and my children’s life. I won’t go into the atrocities done to us. Suffice to say, nightmares plagued me for years afterward. As it did the kids. First, doctors thought I suffered from PTSD and then finally, with a family history on my dad’s side of such, bipolar. Once again, I thought my future was over. But a little voice inside of me began to make me dream again. From those dreams, a story was born. And then others.
In 2009, I decided to pursue writing again. Much had changed since I first wrote. I had a computer and that computer allowed me to meet up with other like-minded individuals. I found a wealth of information on writing that I didn’t have access to. I joined writing groups. Two of the most influential back then were RWA and HWA. Through another organization, I met a lady who owns YAFF (YoungAdultFictionFantics) and I joined the ladies there in learning how to critique and grew more levels in my writing. I started blogging back then as well. I spent a couple years on blogger in between during which I was hacked so I headed back to WordPress.
I’ve finished my eleventh book now and I’m debating on whether to go traditional or Indie. In a minute, I’d go Indie. What holds me back is what has always held me back: money. I’ve read that it costs a minimum of $1500.00 to put out a quality product. That’s just more than I can afford right now. I’m going to look at the traditional route again because of this for now, though it’s been a tough business to crack so far.
I have to start somewhere though. I can’t hide any longer. I want to be an author. Somehow, someway, I will reach that milestone: even doing it afraid.
Traci lives in Northeast Ohia and writes YA Fantasy, Scary, and Historical Romances. She is a member of YAFF (YoungAdultFictionFantatics) and regularly shares useful links for writers and readers on her blog, Where Genres Collide.
Find and follow Traci
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Go for it. You can do the Indie route a step at a time. I took my time and got my editing done, cover design, formatting bit by bit… The right people always cross your path to give support. Good luck.
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
If you are a regular here you will have seen the wonderful lists that Traci Kenworth posts with the mother lode of blog posts. Today Traci has written a guest post on Sue Vincent’s blog and tells her story. One of courage and persistence and she is finally preparing to publish her first book of eleven that she has written. Please go over and offer her your encouragement.
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Thank you, Sally! Appreciate the support!
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What a story Traci and so pleased that you are now on the brink of publishing. If I may suggest that you look at the Indie route and publish in E-version first and then consider print. Firstly that is a far less costly route even if you feel that you cannot do yourself. Secondly, it gives you a chance to get feedback on the book before adding the expense of print which you can still do through a platform such as Createspace. However… ebooks reach around the world without postage costs and make you just as much in returns as the print books do. I know that is is wonderful to hold that print book in your hand for the first time.. but it can be down the line. Look forward to helping promote it. Sally
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Thanks again, Sally!
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A lot of similarities with our lives, Traci. I published my first book last year. Wisp. It cost me around £400 in total and I scrimped and saved where I could for that. It can be done, and I wish you all the success in your life with your writing and happiness. x
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Thanks! I’m looking over my options, I may have to do the same.
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Good luck with everything x
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Don’t be put off the indie route – it needn’t be expensive. I’ve published two books and spent less than £200. I believe they are quality products, though ultimately that’s up to others to decide!
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You are a lady of courage and endurance. I hope you achieve your goals, but whatever happens, you are a success. Well done!
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Thank you!
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Thanks, Annabelle! I’ve gotten some good advice from Sue too, so we’ll see what happens!
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Sue, I apologize for not getting on here sooner! I had a little trouble figuring out the time difference, lol. Also, sorry I forgot the bio! Shakes head in embarrasement.
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You are most welcome, Traci…and not as late to the party as me 🙂 x
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This is an awesome post! You can do it and you will be fantastic at it! 🙂
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Thank you, Vanessa!
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Best of luck, Traci. Take a deep breathe and go for it.
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Thanks, John!
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🙂
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I’m so glad you’re overcoming your fears and sharing your stories! Can’t wait to read them 🙂
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Thanks, Lady! You’ve helped me so much over the years! Don’t know what I’d do without you!
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Wonderful to see you over here today. I don’t think you have to spend quite that much to deliver a quality ebook. You may have to do some research to find the best people in your price range though.
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Thanks, Craig! I’ll see what I can come up with!
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Such an uplifting story of courage, Traci. I’m so glad that you are following your dreams. I’ll echo some of the comments above about publishing indie. It can be expensive, but it doesn’t need to be. Congratulations on your bright future and Happy Writing. 🙂
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Thanks!
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Hi Traci! So pleased to hear how close you are to publishing. Like everyone else on here, I agree that it needn’t cost that much to publish, so please do keep going. Also, your story is one of such courage and heartbreak, and I’m so glad you’ve been able to hold on to your dreams through it all. Sending a big virtual hug xx
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Thanks, Helen!
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You’re very welcome, Traci x
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Wow, so brave of you to bare your soul Traci. I know this because I’m a raw writing memoir writer myself. I can relate to much of your childhood too, but gratefully, we weren’t poor. And I also endured years with an abusive man until I got smart and lucky and met my husband. I commend you for getting through the garbage and rising above. Eleven books! Wow, that’s something! LIke some others have commented here, Indie gives you power over your books and no waiting or pain from publishers. There are lots of great people in our community who can cut you some slack on editing, book covers and formatting and you’ll be on your way. Good luck! 🙂
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Thank you!
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Most welcome. 🙂
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Wow Traci. I doff my cap to you. Your story resonated with me on so many levels (the bullying at school, the inspiration from Mr King and the knowledge that you need to be a writer). I’m lucky to have had one sweet man in my life who fully supports me in my crazy dream, and as such I’m just now devoting my full time to writing. I hope you find a way to have more time to write and never forget the truly amazing achievements you’ve managed so far. I want to be a writer; you, honey, already are!
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Thank you for the kind words, Jessica!
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Mean it hon!
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Lovely story of bravery great courage and determination.
You are not alone Traci in not being able to afford the professional costs associated with a high end product. I truly believe that it can be done on a budget or that you can do the professional job yourself. As Craig said you can also shop around, or even cherry pick help for your weakest areas.
I think the difference with using professionals is that you can reach the end result much faster because they are both experienced and objective. However it is true that some editors are better than others. I read a couple of books backed by major agencies and big publishing houses and thought thought bloody hell the writing is rubbish… and these were professionally edited????
To do a high end job yourself takes dogged determination and perseverance and lets face it, from your story (so far) those qualities are not exactly things you lack are they!!!!
I believe it also takes lots of time, (More than we realise which is why people use professionals). You need to acquire a new skill set; to put your book away for 3- 6 months, then look at it objectively and analytically; to go through it literally line by line for plot, grammar, sentence construction and typos. And then go through it 5 or 6 more times every time wondering why you missed this bit or that bit… and probably wondering why you are not as good a writer as you thought. The point is doing that will make you a better writer anyway so nothing is lost.
Just because its hard doesn’t mean its impossible… you’ve written 11 books…. that sounds more impossible, but you did it. One distinguished literary giant actually took all his popular best sellers and decided because of their shortcomings to rewrite, re-edit and republish them towards the tail of his career. If he could believe his list of best sellers were in some way inadequate then there is hope for the rest of us when we feel we are not quite coming up to scratch.
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Thanks, Paul! Your advice is appreciated!
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Dear Traci, it’s not really advice, just thoughts as writing wise I’m much in the same boat! Good luck and hang on in there… Talent will out!
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Hugs and tons of love to you, Traci. It did not cost me all that money to publish. I have contacts. I’ll email you. 😘❤️
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Oh, Colleen, thank you!
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Check out this post by guest author Traci Kenworth from Sue Vincent’s blog.
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Thank you, Don!
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You’re welcome
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You are a very brave lady, Traci. It is marvellous that you were able to pull your children and yourself out of the mire and now you are doing what you love.
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Thank you!
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Well done to you Traci for finding the courage to leave that abusive relationship, I know how hard that in itesellf can be.
I am so happy for you that you have followed your dream of becoming a writer, and wish you every success 🙂
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Thank you, Judy!
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You are welcome 🙂
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