Ani’s Advent – the mince pie mystery

dawg 003

Dear Santa,

We’ve sort of established that human two-legses are weird, right? Well, what about this whole mince pie thing they do every Christmas?

“I’ll have to make some mince pies,” she says. My ears pricked up at that!In my eyes, a mince pie is full of mince… that ground up beef stuff… with gravy and pastry. That makes them fair game for small dogs, as far as I’m concerned.

But… “No,” she says, “not allowed,” she says. “Raisins,” she says.

So… the mince pies are really raisin pies? “They used to be mince-meat,” she says, as if ‘used to’ is going to help. “With raisins.” So, let me get this straight… they took the good stuff out and shoved more sugar in instead? No wonder they dive around like mad things this time of year and don’t know how to chill!

ani moon 001 (2)

‘Cause they eat a lot of ’em. She says she is supposed to eat one for every month of the year. To bring her good luck. I think it is more likely to feel like bad luck when she gets fat and her teeth drop out, but what do I know? It wouldn’t happen with proper mince, now, would it? No… that’s protein…and she could share with me and eat less.

Speaking of getting fat… how come you don’t burst?ani (1)

It seems a bit odd, you know. You ride about on the sleigh all night eating mince pies and never get any fatter. And there’s poor Rudolph and his mates doing all the sleigh-pulling, right round the world and all they get is a low-calorie carrot? Seems a bit unfair to me.

About as unfair as talking about mince to a small dog, then telling her she can’t have any…

You wouldn’t be able to fit some in your sack, would you?ani (5)

Think I’ll go dig the sofa up.

Much love,

Ani xxx

P.S. If she stays up all night again, will you still be able to get in?


Notes from a small dog (1)Notes from a Small Dog: Four Legs on Two

 

Laughter 1

Laughter Lines: Life from the Tail End

 

 

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
This entry was posted in Books, Christmas, Dogs, Humour and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to Ani’s Advent – the mince pie mystery

  1. Your poor furbaby you are a trial for her. LOL

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  2. Maybe a small bit, small enough for a small dog, will fall into her bowl … 🙂

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Only the pastry…she doesn’t seemto realise how bad for dogs the raisins can be 😉

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      • I’ve had many wonderful canine companions over the years – my dear Rudy passed away a year ago; he was almost 16 – and didn’t know that raisins are toxic to dogs. But then again, I just didn’t ever see fruit as something that would be appealing to dogs. Rudy loved raw vegetables, esp broccoli, snap peas and carrots – the crunchier the better. My old vet (long since retired) always commented that we humans should snack like Rudy. 🙂

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        • Sue Vincent says:

          It is only a few years ago that I found out too…and I’ve been around dogs all my life. They often like to share our food… given chance. I think it is a bonding/pack thing, but so much of what we eat is harmful. (Ani suggests that salads could be considered in the same light…she’s not fond of raw vegetables 😉 )

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    I think she needs to make some Ani friendly ones!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. willowdot21 says:

    I agree totally about the mince pies I am not allowed any either!! Mind you I do love carrots! Ani stop worrying Father Christmas will get in whether she stays up all night or not. Trust me I was a professional! 😊 Love Ruby xxxx

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  5. TanGental says:

    They can be very deceitful, can’t they? Last year my lady two legges made me a proper mince pie for my Christmas and i was ready for it, I mean READY when the Vet says ‘He can’t have all that pastry’ something about body weight to pie crust ratios. They gave me the mince but they took AGES. I got the pastry too – they put it out for the crows and forgot to stop me going out. ha!

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Body weight to crust ratio? That’s a self fulfilling equation…the more pastry you eat, the greater the body weight therefore the more you CAN eat 😉 Ha… two-legses don’t think of everything, Mylo 😉 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. jenanita01 says:

    I never knew that about raisins, chocolate yes, but raisins are basically a fruit, so why not?
    I would have to make an Ani pie…one that she can eat…

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  7. How did that mince “meat” ever get turned into raisins ? My mother loved it. It always scared us. Stay with the sofa dig-up, Ani. Creature comforts.

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  8. bobcabkings says:

    You’re right Ani, it is a mystery how mince meat came not to have any meat in it. It must be a great and confusing disappointment for a small dog. On the other hand, there is some good news. Mock Turtle Soup does have meat, but beef instead of turtle.

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  9. bobcabkings says:

    Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
    Ani contemplates a mystery

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha ha, Sue. This was so entertaining. Sometimes I think I would prefer to be Ani.

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  11. What a trial this month is for you. I’m sure it’ll get sorted out. If not, you can come live at my place. 😀

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  12. Dear Ani,
    I know you worry, but those humans talk a lot about stuff, but don’t necessarily really do it. And as for Santa, he isn’t just riding around in a sleigh. He is supervising the whole North Pole, running around from one place to another. It’s like keeping track of your balls and toys. Keeps him real busy!
    Bonnie and Gibbs

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  13. Mary Smith says:

    Oh, Ani, you do make me laugh!

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  14. My human mummy likes a mince pie but nobody else does Ani, as she can’t have them this year. I won’t be getting any of the crumbly pastry that she normally drops either! 😦 Love Roxy xxx 🐾🐾

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  15. Denis1950 says:

    I just hope you had a special meat mince pie prepared just for you Ani

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