Dear Santa, here we go again,
It seems like I’m in trouble.
I ate the fish food in the tub
And burst my Christmas bubble.
She says you’ll probably still come,
That one small slip won’t do it…
The problem is, I have this thing…
If I see food, I chew it.
I’ve only ever chewed one shoe,
When I was left alone.
And she just tutted, then dug out
A shoe to be my own.
I’m six years old now and that shoe
Is still there in my toys,
I have a sniff of it sometimes…
Reminds me of my boys.
I don’t chew anything of hers
(Apart from the odd tissue)
But any food she leaves in sight
Appears to be an issue.
She’s pretty good, as two-legs go,
She keeps me from temptation,
But when the fridge door fails to shut
There’s cause for celebration.
There was the ham she’d freshly cooked…
And then the Christmas dinner…
And when I saw smoked salmon too
I was on to a winner…
She wasn’t pleased that Christmas day,
But you’d already been
And brought for me more tennis balls
Than I had ever seen!
She doesn’t stay too cross for long,
She has this look, though, see…
And when she says my name, I wish
The earth would swallow me.
But soon she gives me cuddles
And I see that smile and then
I know that she is still my friend
Though I’ve been bad again.
So Santa, if you will still come,
I really wish you would
Put something in your sack for me
To maybe make me good.
Dear Santa, it’s her two-legs here…
Although she is a hog.
Don’t listen to her just this once,
I love my naughty dog.