It was almost exactly eleven pm, and six hours later before I found the small piece of paper I had been tearing the house apart looking for. Every drawer, every cupboard, the car..the books…and it was panic stations as I need that bit of paper early this morning. I am driving a removal van today to bring my soon-to- be daughter’s things up from the south coast.
And the hire company are going to want my driving license after all.
So there was no chance of going to bed before I had located whatever ‘safe place’ I had put it.
It a about a year since I last saw it. The photocard is in my purse, but the paper counterpart? I thought it was in the papers I keep in my bag. No. Eek!
I had started with the obvious places.. all the neatly filed important papers.. as one would. Then anywhere else papers had been put away.. then the places I might possibly have put it.. then anywhere ludicrous I shouldn’t have. The panic set in and that is a lonely emotion.
It serves me right, of course. One should never make assumptions. Not even… perhaps particularly.. about oneself. As my son is fond of reminding me, ‘to assume makes as ass of u and me.”
My first assumption was that I have sufficient common sense to put such an important document somewhere logical. The second, that I knew where it was, the third that it would be easy enough to find in the filed papers. The fourth, of course, was that I would actually see it when I found it.
Which just goes to show how little we know ourselves sometimes!
I even tried dowsing for it. My grandfather had taught me that skill when I was a child, and oddly enough, the dowsing rods, long unused, were on the table. They pointed to the dresser. The first place I’d looked.. I laughed, I had been thorough, it wasn’t in there. The waves of worry were getting overwhelming.
It was only on the third pass, armed with a black bag and a determination to go through every shred of paperwork, page by page, if it took all damned night. Then I found it. In the dresser…In the first pile I had looked at, neatly , but completely illogically, stored between the pages of an instruction manual.
Quite why it was in there I shall never know. It makes no sense… but I have it.
It illustrated another couple of points to though, quite neatly. The place where I found it, finally, had been the first place I looked. I knew it was there. Of all the files, over several cupboards, it was the first I went to, because I was sure it would be there and something lurking underneath the surface of memory knew that it was. Something in my awareness had taken notes when it was last put away a year ago and the mind is very good at nudging us if we listen.
It was emotion, fear of letting people I love down that clouded both my eyes and my judgement and had me going through unlikely places in a truly blind panic. And it was only when I had taken a break, a deep breath, found an alternative solution to a seemingly impossible problem and started from scratch, this time with real care, attention to detail and determination, that I succeeded.
I think this happens more than we realise. We become blinded by our own assumptions and react to emotion. Then our own inability to see beyond those assumptions simply makes matters worse and rather than standing back and looking for alternatives, we get caught in thoughts of failure when really, the answers are there all along, if only we could see them.
So, after an evening of blind panic and a vivid lesson or two, today I drive a van to the seaside and back.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
I could feel you panic as I read through your post. The going through every where I’ve looked before scenario makes me physically feel sick the expression “blind panic” is so true 🙂
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It is an apt expression 🙂 Right, I depart for Bournemouth 🙂
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Yep, been there and done that one!! I love the way the dowsing worked, too.
Safe journey x
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I should thank my friend for suggesting it.. I was so caught up I didn’t even think about dowsing! 🙂
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Right, I’ll go back to where I believe the thing I lost earlier in the week should be and start all over again! Safe driving, even though you are tired!
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Thoroughly enjoyed the drive.. apart from the traffic! A quick shower then I’m off again in the opposite direction to collect my friend from the station 🙂
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…and the other thing… never doubt the dowsing rods!! lol
Safe moving day… TRIPLE CHECK for the boxes left on the pavement!! xx
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All duly collected, delivered and in the process of installation 🙂
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So true what you say about assumptions! I had a similar near-panic reaction the other day to something I THOUGHT someone had done, until I realized nothing had happened, and the mistake was actually mine. Thanks for sharing your experience!
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We seem to do these things a lot, Maarit 🙂
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Just the other day I had the same thing happen…looking for a group of files….I felt it and it was only on the third ‘dig’ through a storage room that I found it…first place I looked. Guidance kept sending me there but I couldn’t see it….wild, frustrating….happy to have found it as you were Sue! Good luck with the move!!!
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Done and dusted 🙂 And my shoes full of sand.. we watched someone SUP boarding.. the first time I’ve seen it in the UK 🙂 I thought of you.
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You capture the feeling so well. I did the same myself with a whole folder yesterday. It was where I first looked but failed to see! I know I should keep calm and look carefully but it looks like I need another fifty years to get the hang of it.
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Well, Pete, if you work out how to get the hang of it, let me know, will you please? 🙂
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Blind panic is never any good, but we all are victim to it. And I think we can all say that taking a step back to breathe is always the remedy. Thanks for this post! Needed to read it after the week I had!!
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I think I needed to write it for the same reason 🙂
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I have a little saying for myself, ‘slow down, don’t be a clown’.
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I’ll remember that one.. though I approve of being a clown sometimes 🙂
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Wow! you had my heart racing. LOL. Safe trip dear!
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There and back again in true hobbit fashion 🙂
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Do have a grand and enjoyable trip. And be assured of your ability as a dowser. Maybe you will use this ability more often?
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I used to use it a lot.. and the rods and pendulum are out for a reason… *wanders off mysteriously…* 😉
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I was right with you on the panic front – I have done that too many times. Now, I say to my son when I put something somewhere random/perfectly sensible: “Remind me, when I’m running through the house like a crazy person, that I put the (keys/document/priceless artifact/random squiggle) right here, okay?” He rolls his eyes, but has an excellent memory, so it works. Sometimes. I loved the dousing for it. Funny how we ignore all those signs and clues because *we* know better! Actually, higher us knows better! Enjoyed this post – thank you!
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Thank you , Katie. Now the problem with that is my son delights in being able to say things like, “You know you’re getting old when you have to get your brain injured son to remind you….”
*chuckles* He has a point 🙂
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🙂 Mine finds some suitably snarky remark to make as well! Cheeky kids.
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They get no better as they get older… 😉
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Good! 🙂
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🙂
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One of my favorite authors wrote about the fact that when we react with emotion, the response lasts for 90 seconds – unless we keep it going with a brain story – – so I guess, perhaps counting to 90, instead of 10? LOL
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A nice slow count 😉
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Reblogged this on Dianne Johnston.
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I feel your pain. Often I believe I have gremlins in my house.
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I feel your pain. Often I’ve thought there were evil gremlins in my house moving stuff I needed to find immediately. Great blog.
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No.. the evil gremlins grew up and moved out 🙂
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Sue, I’m so glad that this had a happy ending and that we got treated with soothing seaside shots!
“Panic is a lonely feeling” – indeed!
Blessings ~ Wendy
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🙂
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Sue, I’m glad you finally found your documents. These are the hard lessons we learn. The state of Florida changed how folks renewed drivers licenses. For women, even more is required because of name changes, etc. We also exhausted every possible location … no luck. So we had to fork over lots of money to various cities of record for our marriage certificate, birth certificates, proof we were human (just joking, but it does seem that way).
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You should try getting married in France.. everything in triplicate and translated 🙂
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It happens to the best of us… I do this all the time…
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🙂
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Well now that I see I am not the only one………it still doesn’t help. How to develop a table of contents for all the possessions is needed.
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As a Virgo, I’m supposed to be organised…but I think my filing system needs an overhaul 🙂
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