Ten years ago today, July 4th 2009, I learned to fear answering the telephone. Four words changed the lives of everyone in our little family and that of many of our friends. My son, over a hundred miles away in Bournemouth, was in hospital… and we were advised to come at once. He had not regained consciousness since he had been brought in and, at that point, they did not seem to understand why. They thought he had suffered a brain haemorrhage.
They were almost right. Nick had been stabbed through the brain in a senseless attack. The puncture wound was so small it had, at first, been missed, but shards of bone were lodged in his brain and the ten inch screwdriver that had been rammed through his temple had compromised the brain stem. He was in a coma and not expected to live.
I have written, in great detail, of that time. I have told of the moment when the call came through, of the terror and despair, of the kindness and hope of those dreadful days… days that became weeks and months of fear and struggle as we all learned to adapt to a redefined future that was not only full of unknowns, but which was likely to shape the rest of our lives.
When Nick finally woke, it was to severe disability. Paralysed, unable to speak at all, his vision compromised and utterly dependent. The prognosis was grim… especially as it was clear that the bright young businessman with a razor sharp mind was still there… trapped in a broken and uncooperative body and a brain that would not allow the mind to express itself as it should.
In those early days, as soon as Nick began to awaken, my one determination was that he should believe in himself and have all the support he needed. We were told that patients who had people there for them did best… so every day for months, we drove the round trip to be at his bedside for every moment we were allowed and drove back to care for the rest of the family.
After the hospitals, he was admitted to rehab to begin the long fight back to a normality yet to be defined. It was six months before he was allowed to come home and two years before he was once more able to move into a place of his own.
At that point, Nick still needed an enormous amount of help and I was there from morning till night every day. In spite of the excitement about creating a beautiful home for himself, there were so many things that could go wrong and did, that it was as scary a time as you can imagine.
But, Nick was always determined to walk again, to regain his life and independence. He worked harder than you would believe possible, right from the start, with a ferocious will to succeed, even while he knew that, realistically, the likelihood of achieving his goal was minimal. Neither optimism nor hope need be blind.
That was ten years ago exactly. Independence day… and my son’s re-birthday, as he calls it. It is a long time… but in many ways, seems no time at all. When you are living with the consequences of such an event, you cannot simply ‘put it behind you’… it colours your every day, even in small ways that pass almost unnoticed. It was only today that it dawned on me, for instance, why I have an almost pathological fear of answering an unknown number on a telephone…
Time, though, changes many things. Ten years on, Nick still cannot walk unaided and he faces many daily challenges, any of which could stop him in his tracks. There was a gradual acceptance of new limitations, but accepting that they exist does not mean accepting them as unbreachable barriers. It just means finding new ways of achieving the impossible.
So far, his motto seems to be holding true.
Possum ergo facit. I can therefore I do.
And he does.
a multitude of blessing and possitivty to you your son and your family ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
The things Nick has achieved in those 10 years, though…
Sometimes, you wonder, if it weren’t for those life changing experiences, would he have done all he has, since being able to?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s one of beauties to have come from this whole awful situation… he would probably have been caught in economic and social normality and never have done, achieved or enjoyed half as much. In losing the life he had, he has learned to Live.
LikeLiked by 4 people
😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
As inspirational quotes go, that one’s gone right to the top of my list. Both of you have gone on a difficult, amazing journey and your approach to the situation frees you from the negativity that traps people in a web of bitterness, anger and depression. It can’t have been easy, but look at what the two of you have achieved.
LikeLike
Thanks, Trish… there are always darker moments, but in the end, they just let you appreciate the good ones more 🙂
LikeLike
Wow. Inspiring!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He is… though he says he just ‘puts one foot in front of the other’ 😉
LikeLike
Amazing. Good for him!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
You both are Inspiring!! ❤ ❤
I salute you both!
Have a Blessed day!
LikeLike
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That picture of Nick and Ani says it all, Sue. Truly beautiful to see…
LikeLike
I live that one too 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing, Jaye x
LikeLike
Thank you 🙏
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on TRAVEL N WRITE.
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing this.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Campbells World.
LikeLike
Thanks, Patty.
LikeLike
I am in awe of your son and your strength in helping him live again.
LikeLike
The human spirit is capable of more than we give it credit for sometimes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy Re-birthday Nick!
Very inspiring stuff Sue and the best of good wishes and luck to all of you!
LikeLike
Thank you, Stuart, from both of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
you are all an inspiration.
LikeLike
Thank you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great account of determination and survival instinct. I pray that his courage never fails and his life keeps on getting better.
LikeLike
There have been moments…and will be more… but I can’t see him giving in or giving up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Remarkable spirit.
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your blog has given me many a wet cheek this week, Sue, and today is no exception. What a wonderful, amazing and truly inspiring son you have, and what an equally wonderful and inspiring mum he has. Together you make an invincible team. Fantastic motto. Love and light to you both. ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Alli. Both love and Light have been given in abundance the past ten years 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad to hear it. You both deserve all the love and light in the world. 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
🙂 ❤
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing Nick and his brilliant spirit with us.
LikeLike
Thanks, Colleen x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Clearly Nick inherited your strength of character and will. The fact that he calls this day his rebirth-day is a testament to that. You must be so proud of your son! He is amazing.
LikeLike
I am proud of both my sons in equal measure… but today is Nick’s day. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Spoken like one great mom! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Much love to you and Nick, a constant inspiration. I’m honored to be in one of those photos and will always fondly remember that magical day at Arbor Low. ❤
LikeLike
It was indeed a magical day, Alethea, and Stuart, you and Deb made those few days in Derbyshire truly special for Nick, helping him see and visit places he could not have reached alone ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Not Tomatoes and commented:
One of the most inspiring duos I know: Nick and his mum, Sue
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Incredible blessing in your story, Sue, really about the both of you, and the images do it justice! All the best for ya’ll! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Felipe. No story belongs to just one person and Nick’s story has been blessed by so many. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true! Once a story is released, real or fictional, it belongs to all! ❤️
LikeLike
And this one is real and is part of many people’s story 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very powerful, very inspiring, Sue! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
What an amazing story of courage, hope and unconditional love. Sue, I wish your son all good things and may he never lose his sense of adventure. You have all been through so much ❤️
LikeLike
I hope he’ll never lose that Christine… though sometimes I might feel differently about his sense of humour 😉 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahhh…it gets us through the worst of times doesn’t it? 🙂💕
LikeLike
Always 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
“In losing the life he had, he has learned to Live.”
Wow. That one profound line says it all. Nick is an amazing person of indomitable will and courage. (And so are you.) This is the perfect example of the best that’s within us, and the limitless joy in life we should all strive for, no matter the obstacles in our way. THIS is how you do it! One foot in front of the other, no matter where it is you want to go.
Thank you for sharing, Sue! And much love to you, Nick, and all those you care about.
LikeLike
Thank you, Marcia. We overcopmlicate things a lot, but it really is just stepping from moment to moment… even if you can’t exactly walk 😉
Hugs ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Walking isn’t the only way to move from moment to moment, as Nick has proved. And this post was exactly what I needed today, as I’ve had some health issues of my own frustrating me lately. Now that I’ve been reminded of what can be accomplished if you focus on the positive and work for what you want, I’m feeling 100% better. Thank you for that! 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bles, you, Marcia, I hope that your health issues can be swiftly resolved. I know the feeling… and, watching Nick, hope I’ll Live until I can’t live any more 😉
LikeLike
Reblogged this on The Write Stuff and commented:
Here’s a different way to think of Independence Day. If you don’t know Nick’s story, you should read this post from Sue Vincent, marking the 10th anniversary of a life-altering event. Nick’s determination to regain his health and live a life worth living should be an inspiration to us all. Do yourself a favor and check out Sue’s post. I guarantee you it will change how you look at your life’s blessings and how you approach each challenge! As always, spread the word. The world needs stories like this one. You go, Nick! And you as well, Sue!
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
Amazing, Sue. Your son is such an inspiration. He’s lived more than most of us would in those 10 years. I totally understand you worry answering the phone calls.
LikeLike
What with the other son being a biker…and, over the years, giving me heart failure a good few times, it doesn’t surprise me either. But I genuinely hadn’t thought about why till writing this post.
LikeLike
Nick is amazing and a testament to the strength and determination of the human spirit. As a mom, I understand that worry about getting a call that could change your life forever. For you, it has to be worse as it has happened, a mom’s worst nightmare. But you dug deep and pulled out that inner strength. Bravo to you and Nick for what you have accomplished.
LikeLike
As a mother, you just do what is needed, I think. But I do fear the phone when I don’t know the number…
LikeLike
A corageous young man. This true account of what happened brought tears tomy eyes as I read this. I cannot even fathom the pain you all endeared during that time 10 years ago. He is a miracle!!! God Bless!!!!
LikeLike
Thanks, Beckie. It was the kind of fear and pain that defies description… but tempered with hope too. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can never give up on hope, no matter what the outcome… Hope is a precious entity, one that we solely hold dear.
LikeLike
It is indeed a precious commodity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yay Nick for striving ever upwards and never giving up! He’s lucky to have a great mom.
LikeLike
I’m lucky I still have both my sons 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A beautiful post, Sue. Michael is stick again and we had some not so good news yesterday [not terrible so don’t panic but worrying for me]. I still find it hard to believe this happened in the UK which I think of as my safe place.
LikeLike
I am sorry to hear that, Robbie… I can understand your worrying, of course. I hope things turn out okay.
Yes… we had the same reaction… Bournemouth!
LikeLike
Nik is a wonderful person and his courage shines as a beacon to others, including me. I often think I can’t do this when walking, and then I think of what Nik went through and is still achieving and I can take that extra step. xxx
LikeLike
Thanks, Adele. Words like that mean a good deal. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
This story squeezed my heart, Sue. Nick is an inspiration. I can’t even imagine how terrifying those early days were for you. It sure makes a person reevaluate what’s important in life {{hugs}}
LikeLike
It has certainly changed my priorities, Jacquie…and Nick’s too. So many daily worries and stressors seem rather unimportant when you know how fragile and precious life can be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally amazing.
LikeLike
He is 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
You and Nick provide awe-inspired accolades from us all, Sue! ❤ May your continuous blessings abound. Thanks so much for sharing. xoxo
LikeLike
Thank you, Bette… we really appreciate that xx
LikeLike
Amazing
Love, ELizabeth
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Wow, you should write a memoir about this. What a story!
LikeLike
One day I probably will 🙂
LikeLike
Happy Re-birthday, Nick! I thought of him upon rising this morning and am glad to see your post so I could convey my regards. Nick is one of my great heroes! ❤
LikeLike
I couldn’t miss this milestone, Eliza 🙂 And I know he is reading the comments ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
God bless Sue. Amazing determination on both your parts and those photos are priceless. ❤
LikeLike
I love being able to look at them, Debby, knowing the darker side of the story so well…and seeing so much to wonder at ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
And gratitude for making it through ❤
LikeLike
That too. Always ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy Re-Birth Day, Nick. 😀
LikeLike
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Where Genres Collide Traci Kenworth YA Author & Book Blogger.
LikeLike
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is an inspiration – there are so many ways a person can deal with such a devastating card in life, and Nick chose the best possible one. Truly amazing!
LikeLike
He has done some wonderful things to change his life around 🙂
LikeLike
A continual inspiration. (K)
LikeLike
For me,every day 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a powerful example of heart and not giving up! Nick’s story needs to be told again and again. Not only am I moved by your son, Sue, but also by a parent who reminds us to keep things in perspective. Shame on the rest of us who complain about the little things in life.
LikeLike
One thing we have learned very clearly, Pete, is that although you might draw strength from seeing how others face challenges, you should not compare and feel your own are less than theirs. Every struggle or challenge is unique and all are acute to those going through them. But it does help sometimes to see that wonderful things can grow from disaster 🙂
LikeLike
This is the first I’m reading of this aspect of your life, and I’m typing this in tears—both saddened and heartened. You are both truly blessed to have each other in your lives. No one should ever have to endure such a tragedy. But every child should have such a supportive parent, and every person should have such an indomitable spirit as your son. Praying for your whole family.
LikeLike
Thank you. It was a horrendous time, Staci, but so much beauty has grown from it. Nick would not change a thing these days.
LikeLike
Sue, you and Nick and your family are an inspiration. Best wishes to all of you.
LikeLike
Thank you, Norah 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What an amazing man. An amazing human being (with an incredible support of family). Yes, I’ve read about Nick in your past posts and marveled at his resiliency, his courage, and his will to BE. This post was whipped cream on the cake. Please tell him that strangers in strange lands applaud his sense of BEING, his love of life, and his tender tenacity.
LikeLike
I know he is reading the comments, Pamela, and that they really do matter. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am always speachless looking at Nick he never ceases to amaze me as to you. You and Nick are , all of your family are wonderful people. Nick is a beacon to us all , though human and no Saint, no is. Love to you both 💜
LikeLike
Definitely no saint, Willow 😉 I’m not sure he would want to be either. But being here is all about being human 😉 xx
LikeLike
Yes and he is definitely human 🤭🤞🤞
LikeLike
Oh yes 😉
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nick is an iconic example of fighting for a goal, accepting what must be accepted — without giving up. That, to me, defines real valor. To go on fighting, even with the understanding that it may not come out the way he hoped. It takes incredible strength to deal with disappointment and not give up. And you too. Your willingness to keep on keeping on while dealing with disappointment and reality at the same time. You’ve managed something extraordinary, the two of you — individually and together.
LikeLike
Thank you, Marilyn. I agree with you about that definition… and ‘valiat’ is a word that has always seemed to me to define Nick’s quest.
LikeLike
Happy (ahem, belated!) re-birthday, Nick!
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Tried to follow – rejects my gmail
LikeLike
How strange! I have had the same problem with some blogs lately and found that just refreshing the page works most of the time. Failing that, I will follow through the Reader and set email preferences for notofications there.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for sharing. An incredible story – wow!
LikeLike
It has been an incredible journey, Alexander.
LikeLike
What amazing mental strength & determination Nick has. My brother had a life changing accident when he was 24, he also had inner strength to go on to laugh, love & live a different but fulfilled life, until he lost his fight at age 49. I know there are dark times and struggles most will never understand, but the hardest thing is to have lifted his head, accepted that it’s happened & carried on to enjoy & appreciate what he has. Well done Nick for not letting that idiot who did this to you, win.
LikeLike
I am so sorry to read this, Sam, and can only magine your heartache at your brother’s loss. I am glad to know he lived, though, with a capital ‘L’.
You wil understand some of the darker times, for both the person at the sharp end of trauma and those who love them… and what it means to see them take life between their teeth. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do Sue. It was my brother who taught me to live life to the full every day & not to get so up right about silly things. I actually typed it wrong in my first comment, he died aged 39. I’ll probably write about him one day. A close family is a must during these dark days Your son is a credit to you. Love to you all x
LikeLike
That is no age at all…and I feel for your parents too.
We were lucky to have so many of Nick’s friends close around him until he could start living again. It really matters.
Hugs xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Inspiring every one!
LikeLike
He is 🙂
LikeLike
Catching up on your adventures … congratulations to Nick. And you. Too much multitasking and I dropped your thread for a while….
LikeLike
This is an amazing story of hope and determination. I believe that trait runs in his family.
LikeLike
My sons are remarkable young men.
LikeLike
Life never ceases to amaze me, and this post shows something about the will and the people who engage the will to “do” rather than to just go through the motions. The photos alone show me a man who embraces the will to do and live a life more fully than many people in the world. While you and Nick have had such difficult times, it seems you also found a miracle as well ~ what a beautiful tribute to life, an inspiration. Remarkable son, and sons, are only possible by having an even more remarkable mother. Wishing you the best, Sue. And such awesome photos 🙂
LikeLike
On down days, and there are still those, I remind my son that he has done more in the last decade than many people will ever do… simply because he has chosen to make the attempt and refused to admit that some things are impossible. I am learning from him at the moment.
LikeLike
I’m so sorry for what you and Nick have gone through Sue. What an inspiration you both are, and those pictures blew me away. They reminded me of the song “I Lived,” by OneRepublic.
LikeLike
Nick seems to have taken that as his motto… he has done some amazing things since the attack 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
good motto to have and you both are an inspiration
☀️
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh gosh. In a second life changes. You , Nick and whole family are soooooo very strong. Hugs to you all.
LikeLike
Thank you… it is just a case of accepting and working with what comes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes , what else can we do. Carry on with a smile and treasure each moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Incredible determination and perseverance Nick has had for the last eleven and a half years. It was a sheer will to live and to adapt, non comprising to an impossibility. I can’t imagine driving hundreds of miles each day for you to be with Nick for months until he came home with you and you slept on the floor to be with him and cared for him until you got a sofabed.
If there is a will, there is a way. You and Nick are an inspiration to mankind, Sue and Nick!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You do what youhave to do under those circumstances… and it paid off with Nick’s detemination to make life woth living 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s true, Sue! It wasn’t and it’s still not easy. It’s every tiny step that counts. 🙂
LikeLike
And some of the smaller ones are the hardest 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly, especially the initial ones. 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m following snippets of the story backwards and forwards, Sue, starting with Miriam and then Robbie, and then to your current tragic post. Looking at the photos I recall seeing some of them before, but it’s so easy to forget when It’s not your son. I’m not sure what I want to say other than that I am in awe of the battle and journey you have undertaken. I have a 31 year old son. Please God, if anything were to happen to him, I could come through as you have done. I know this story isn’t going to have a happy ending but I shall follow it through. Good luck, darlin!
LikeLike
Thank you, Jo. A mother’s worst nightmare… but thankfully, Nick came through with enough of himself intact to stand eye to eye with his injuries and create a new life.
LikeLike
🤗💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sue, thank you again for sharing these stories with me. You are indeed the inspiration that everyone says you are. You have touched my heart with your deep caring. This was thrust on both of you, yet, looking at what happened over the ten years gives us all cause to rejoice and be thankful. How is your eyesight today? Have the doctors determined what is going on?
LikeLike
Pingback: Sue Vincent’s World – Beating the Odds – Marsha Ingrao – Always Write
What an amazing young man you have to beat the odds and find the best in living. I read this on Marsha’s blog this morning and had no idea of what you all had gone through. I find it ironic that he was attacked on July 4th, which is our Independence Day, here in America. Of course, it was the Brits that we fought for our independence, but the day stands for so much more. He was fortunate to be alive and thank goodness he is a fighter. Looks like he has accomplished some awesome things and seen some amazing places while out on incredible adventures. You are a wonderful mom! I, too understand the meaning of a phone call I never want to receive. Unfortunately, it was the morning my granddaughter died.
LikeLike