It was quiet, too quiet. For the first time in almost eight years, there was no bouncing mass of fur when I came home from work. No grinning muzzle, no tail wagging so hard that it wagged the dog too. For a split second, cold fear had me by the throat… then I heard her snores and breathed again.
Curled up on the sofa, her head on a cushion, the small dog was smiling in her sleep. So deep was her slumber that I watched her for several minutes before she awoke… alerted, not by my presence, but by the scent of chicken emanating from my handbag. You could see the twitch of her nose carrying the prospect of treats to her brain as she struggled to focus drowsy eyes.
She didn’t even attempt to leave the sofa, but caught my arm with her paw as I reached out to stroke her ears, holding my hand in her fur in the way that she has, reaching her muzzle to my face so that her whiskers brushed my skin like a whisper.
We sat there for a while, just being together, with love for this beautiful creature spilling down my cheeks. She asks so little of me… just somewhere warm to sleep, a little play, a walk and her food… and would accept even less, as long as she has love.
We cuddled, sharing warmth and touch and a wordless communication, until she felt the need to head for the garden. Usually, she is out of the door, like a cork from a champagne bottle, within seconds of my return, bringing the ball and determined to play. Today, she struggled to rise from the soft surface of the couch, and so did I. Heading to the door, she turned and grinned at me, as if to say that she understood and that it was okay. We are growing older.
We have a lot in common, she and I. Our bodies are changing shape, our hair is touched with grey, our movements are no longer full of energy and grace…or at least, not until we have been moving for a while. And we are both still pups at heart.
Neither of her parents came from long-lived breeds and, although cross breeds tend to live longer and healthier lives than their pure-bred parents, I can see Ani’s age beginning to catch up with her. I know that the years we still have ahead of us will be fewer than those we have already shared.
It made me realise that when you grow old with someone you love, be it ‘only’ a dog, the goodbyes begin early. Not in some morbid way that anticipates grief, mourning the inevitable long before it happens, but in love and joy, cherishing the moments spent together with an increased awareness and gratitude.
In some ways, acknowledging that there will be an end, one day, brings out the best in both love and in life, making you more conscious of how rare and precious a gift both can be. It makes it easier to ‘be the person your dog thinks you are’. It is why so many old tombs show death and life hand in hand in their artwork… a reflection on the vanity of worldly pursuits as well as a stark reminder of all we do have that is real, but which is often taken for granted in the pursuit of material success.
We have this unconscious idea that those we love will always be around… even though we know it to be untrue. That there will ‘be time enough’… until there isn’t. And then, when the curtain falls without warning and it is too late, where there should be loving memories, there remains only regret.
I hope I will have Ani beside me for many years to come. That we will grow old together for a while, sharing laughter and adventures, and, if the gods are kind, that she will take her last breath with her head on my knee and my voice in her ears. But, if I come home one day to a silence unbroken by snores, I want to weep only for the departure of my friend, not for love ignored and time together wasted.
So now, I am going to cuddle my dog.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Oh Sue. I teared up at this. Goodbyes are inevitable… But the thought of them are never comfortable… It easy. Be it human or not… 💜
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Love doesn’t seem to draw any line between human and other species… it just is ❤
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So very true ❤
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You have me in tears. Happy tears for the love you’ve shared with us. Thank you ❤️
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I am just so glad we can share these years, Dorinda ❤
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❤
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Ani is a beautiful dog and what you’ve written here about your relationship with her brought a tear to my eye; I hope that you get to hold on to this love you share for a long time to come :O) x
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So do I, my floors might be cleaner without her, but my life would be much emptier.
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks, Jaye x
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Doesn’t bear thinking about, Sue…
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No. But thinking about it helps me appreciate her presence even more.
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Bless her…
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I have been there with Sam and you are right those last few years are precious. Here is to many more years for you both to be together ♥
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I know, Sally… and I am so grateful for the love we have been able to share with them ❤
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Sue, this is such a beautiful and tender tribute. Thank you for sharing your love with us. I’m deeply moved. ♥
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She’s a rather special creature, my Ani ❤
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You are both blessed in each other.
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She is definitely a blessing in my life, Bob.
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Wise ,wise words that we should adhere to in all our relationships. …too much wasted time.
Long live Ani 💜💜
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All relationships…yes ❤
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💜💜
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So lovely Sue, and I know exactly how you feel. Our pets give us so much, become a part of our lives, even our soul sometimes, and as you say, a warm place to sleep, some play, food, and love is all they ask in return.
Maggie is like Ani in so many ways, but her age is definitely catching up with her, and I am aware that our time with her is lessening. It hurts to think about it and makes whatever time we have left more precious. Her eyes and snout show a much stronger presence of grey, she’s stiffer in her joints sometimes and like today, the tummy is dodgy more often. She’s 14 tomorrow, and we’ve had her since she was a pup of 7 weeks. Some days, she acts as if she still is, and although I’m glad to see it, it makes me think of the candle burning its brightest…………..
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I can imagine, Di. She is growing old surrounded by love and care… and you are with her. That’s what maters most x
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Love her to bits.
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I know ❤
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Happy New Year, Sue! This is just beautiful – there are few loves as pure as that of a dog. We’ve just started down the route, our puppy girl now seven months – yet I’m already conscious there will come a time when we will part. Cherishing moments and being grateful for them is such a deep truth. Thanks so much for sharing xx
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Happy New Year, Helen!
Do tell me about your pup! They are wonderfulat that age…and creep into your heart so quickly xx
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Oh, they do 🙂 We have a seven-month old cockapoo christened Cookie by the gorgeous girl. Cookie is a ball of chaos and fluff and love, and has completely stolen all our hearts 🙂 I’m long overdue sending you an email, so will do so with a photo x
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Wonderful 🙂 They are adorable dogs 🙂 x
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It will be so hard. Finbar is eleven and a half and is as quick on the trigger as ever, though he doesn’t gallop for as long as he used to do. I don’t know how long we can hope to have him with us as nobody is quite sure how long Galgos live if they’re allowed to—the Spaniards get rid of most of them by the time they’re two. He has rescue friends who are pushing 17. They’re tough as old boots.
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Looking up Galgos set me off looking through the rescue sites… always a bad move. I need a bigger house, more money and a couple of fields…
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Friends in Spain tell me it’s getting better/less awful, but the regions were the abuse is centred are the poorest and the least likely to change. I don’t look at the rescue sites anymore. Too distressing.
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I try not to… I want to rehome them all.
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I’d love to have a whole herd of them but one is difficult enough to handle…
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There is that 😉
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Though I’m sure there are some that are more biddable.
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I’ve met them… I just bever seem to live with them. I wonder what that says about me… 😉
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You mean sighthounds in general? I don’t know. It maybe just means you come from an environment where ‘dog’ was a mongrelly sheepdog terrier sort of a dog. A ‘normal’ modern sort of dog. We never had a dog, so I just got one that tugged at the heart strings. The sighthounds were the dogs that were accepted in the house as companions in the Middle Ages, because they were ‘nice’ dogs. People were different then and homes were different too. They’re funny dogs, not really domesticated, more like tame wild animals. I love Galgos but they don’t fit in with most lifestyles. Greyhounds might be easier, more domesticated.
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I mean dogs in general. 🙂 We’ve had everything from a small army of pedigree Irish Setters to German Shepherds and mongrels. Greyhounds are lovely house dogs…40 mph couch potatoes… but they still have minds of their own. I’d rather have it that way. An intelligent dog may take a bit more effort to train…and you may only train them to obey when they so choose … but they are always real characters.
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Yes, you’re right there. The Spaniards say they’re stupid because they don’t do what they’re told. I think there’s a world of difference between understanding what you’re being asked to do and refusing to do it, and just not having a clue. They do know what you want them to do, but unless you give them a very good reason for doing it, they prefer to carry on with whatever it is they’re doing. I know that ordering Finbar to do something like ‘sit on your chair’ just makes him think I’m cross with him. He’ll do it eventually, but only after he’s slunk up to me with his head hanging down to ask for forgiveness. They hate raised voices. Just like people really.
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Same with Ani. Certain words, like ‘bath’, will send her immediately to bed… but ‘bed’ won’t unless she’s sleepy 😉
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I see it as a higher form of intelligence than blind obedience. That is a human way of looking at intelligence. A dog needs to be an intelligent dog and know how to do dog stuff, not play dead or walk on it’s hind legs. It’s like teaching people to sniff out cat poo in the grass or bury bones. They might be able to learn how to do it, but would they ever agree to?
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More to the point, would we want to?
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Most of us wouldn’t. I don’t suppose most dogs want to play dead either, but if they get thumped when they don’t they give in.
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No way to treat any creature…
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I don’t think so.
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Well that’s got me crying ❤
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❤
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You made me cry – but in a good happy/sad way.
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Some tears are good 🙂
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This made my heart melt. Yes, pour every ounce of affection into your beautiful dog and make sure not even a second is wasted because seconds have a tendency to slip through your fingers like sand. She’ll appreciate your love just as much as we appreciate you, knowing that you’ve cared for her with such tenderness.
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She looks after me too… and all from the heart.
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Also tears here…we always think there is more time. Best to use today wisely. (K)
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You can never predict just how long and regret is a dour companion.
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It is indeed.
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Very recognisable symptoms, grand thoughts.
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It comes to us all…if we are lucky enough to live long enough 🙂
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I feel the same about Zeke. He’s already 9 and is a pure-bred German Shepherd.. I hope he has many more years ahead but know it is less than more…
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Time shared and time still to come… and all of it matters.
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A beautiful post. May you grow old disgracefully together, for many more years and remain puppies inside.
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I think we both have that intention 😉
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Pingback: All for love… | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
Reblogged this on The Jackson Diner.
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Thank you for sharing, Jean.
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I hope Ani stays okay
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So do I, Jean. I’d be lost without her.
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My Annie is eight also, and her hips are not that good (like mine :)) but every now and then, especially when Dad comes home, she forgets that and dances around like she’s still a pup. Those moments warm my heart.
This is a beautiful post for your baby, Sue. May she enjoy many more years of your love ❤
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Yes, Ani struggles a bit these days… until she gets excited, then she is just a big pup again too 🙂 x
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This brought tears to my eyes. I hope and pray that you and Ani will have many long years together and that Dante and us will too. ❤
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I hope we do, Adele… and see no reason why not ❤
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❤
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Such a sweet and heartfelt post. I couldn’t imagine life with a dog and now I can’t imagine one without our Dot. We have to make the most of the time we have together. You are so lucky to have Ani!
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I know. There have always been dogs… but this one takes the crown ( and the cheese, the chicken and anything else she thinks edible…)
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Never, never, let it be said on our tombstones (in whatever form they take) that we died without enough cuddles! Please give her a soft ear-skritch for me. 😀
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Amen to that… ( and she likes the ear skritching 😉 )
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Beautiful, Sue… Love is what it’s all about. May you and Ani share the magic of love for a long, long time. ❤
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I hope so, Bette… but any moment of love leaves it mark on your heart, no matter how brief ❤
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Beautiful words, Sue. I’m still trying to get used to the silence greeting me when I come home. Henry’s presence is missed in every moment of our day. I can relate to knowing the inevitable but living through the loss is sometimes unbearable.
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I cannot even begin to imagine, Eloise. I have loved and lost many dogs before… but every love is unique and brings its own joy and sorrow. Hugs x
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Beautiful, Sue. I know exactly how you feel. You both are fortunate to have each other.
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I know that I am, John…I hope she thinks so too.
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🙂 She does.
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🙂
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This is so touching, Sue. I’m feeling very weepy, and my old pups will get extra cuddles this evening. Give Ani a good ear rub for me. ❤
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I will…she’s getting lot off cuddles today too. ❤
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We have one aging fast, though I think slimming her down may help her live a little longer. We have one medium dog and one young one. It’s hard getting old, harder when the furry ones age as they inevitably do. But we need to keep loving them all the way, beginning to end.
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I don’t think we have any choice in that once they have crept into our hearts.
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Such truth Sue. You bring to light many of the thoughts many of us contemplate. I especially love it summed up by you with this: ” I know that the years we still have ahead of us will be fewer than those we have already shared.” I’ve often thought about those things in life. Good to bring to light, but better not to dwell on. 🙂 xx
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The thought of living beyond the loves we share is always hard to contemplate, and I know just how hard it is to live through, but we do get to a place where looking back brings only enderness and joy ❤ xx
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So true Sue, we only have to find that acceptance first before we can treasure those memories ❤
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We do…and that takes time ❤
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❤
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You scared me for a moment there, and she’s not even my dog. I’m glad Ani was just slower to get up than she used to be, and is doing alright. I hope you’ll have plenty more time with her yet.
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I too hope she will be with me for many more years, Tori.
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Oh, Sue. This was so loving, a pierce right to the heart. ❤️
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My Ani means a lot to me ❤
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I know. And you penned the love and bond you share beautifully.
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Thanks, Jennie x
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You’re welcome, Sue.
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Oh, gosh, there’s a lump in my throat. ❤
You are so right, we really have to be grateful for every moment we share with our loved ones, and waste nary a one.
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They slip by so fast when we are not paying attenton ❤
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This is very touching, Sue. I share the same view, make the most of the people [and dogs] you love while they are still alive to appreciate it. My life has been touched by death more often in the last six months than ever before. It is hard to think of young people dying.
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It is, Robbie, we are never ‘ready’ for the void that leaves in our lives either.
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So beautiful, Sue, and so true. ♥
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Thanks, Olga 💞
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Yup, my throat is tight, holding back the tears. You describe how important and wonderful our dogs are in our lives – perfectly.
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They change the whole emotional landscape 🙂
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Yes they do. I miss my dog so much, but have been hesitant to get that emotionally involved again. ;-0 That’s kind of sad, but …..
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My dog Oreo passed away a year ago. I still say her name and miss her all the time, especially when I talk to my other old lady pup. My little sister said “I am never going to have another dog again, if it means saying goodbye.” I told her what you have to understand is that these pups are going to live with or without us, why not give them a loving home filled with so many memories? “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” -Winnie the Pooh
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Oh, Sue. This brought me to tears. I just happened to come across this when looking for your site. Beautifully expressed, Dear Girl! I know just what you mean. My little furball has started slowing down. I’m seeing more grey in his fur. Things like that I find myself taking the more time to really express my love and affection for him. More cuddles, etc. I’m pretty sure I will have him for several more years, but yes, the goodbyes have begun.
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You know their lives are shorter than ours… because, as one story puts it, they have less they need to learn about life and love than humans… but imagining the days without their presence is almost impossible.
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agreed. 😦
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I’m so sorry. It’s the good memories that sometimes will keep you afloat during this hard time. ❤️
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I know… so we are making them ❤
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Do check my new poem on love – https://mesmots1987.wordpress.com/2019/02/08/i-promised-that-way/
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This is awesome!!!!
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Thank you 🙂
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