Wash ‘n’ go

Image: Pixabay

I took a book into the bathtub today
It is something I used to like doing,
But over the past many years, I would say
I’ve grown expert at high speed shampooing.

‘Me time’ a concept that just passed me by
Or abandoned somewhere long ago…
What with fighting the sons for the bathroom each day
I just couldn’t be bothered, you know.

But I had a day off so I dug out the treats
That were sent from way north of the border
I lined up the lotions and potions and stuff
For a beauty regime made to order.

The book waited patiently just within reach
While I turned from lobster to shrimp
And scrubbed and shampooed and perfumed and soaped…
Had a good girly preen and a primp.

I’d forgotten how long this lark takes, though you know
As I tended to each nook and cranny,
I began getting bored but my vanity said,
“That’s no reason to look like your Granny!”

Now that was a good point, because Granny is dead
And although there are days when I feel it,
I’m still vain enough underneath this thick hide
To do anything to conceal it!

So I womanfully did my best for a while
Until I was bored with the bath,
Then I looked at the clock… twenty minutes had passed
And then really I just had to laugh.

So I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair
And noticed my fingers were crinkled…
And got out double quick when the thought crossed my mind,
“Now I wonder what else will go wrinkled?”

And that, gentle reader, is why the book stayed
On the edge of the bathtub unread,
It’s apparent my beauty regime’s ‘wash and go’
So I’ll save all my reading for bed.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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59 Responses to Wash ‘n’ go

  1. Pingback: a decouvrir – le blog de mes lectures

  2. The Thinker says:

    Love it! True, books in bathtubs seem like a wonderful idea, on TV, because the water goes cold, the book gets wet, and we don’t live in a perfect world where there’s time to overindulge in anything. Brilliant poem!


  3. Ritu says:

    Ha Ha Sue! i find I can’t stay in the tub for long either, when I finally get the chance!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Wash ‘n’ Go – The Militant Negro™

  5. jenanita01 says:

    I haven’t had a bath for years, due to various parts of my anatomy that refuse to bend. The last time I tried I became stuck and had to be rescued! I do so miss it though, and you can’t exactly have a leisurely shower, now can you?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. tric says:

    Hahaha. It’s years since I had a bath. When I began reading I too remembered a book in the bath and thought I’d like to do that once more. Thankfully, your post cured me.


  7. scifihammy says:

    haha Your poem is a good read and I have to agree with you. I also used to soak in the bath with a good book. No longer.


  8. I love bathing too, not only showering. But reading during the procedure, i never tested yet. 😉 Michael


  9. dgkaye says:

    Lol cute poem Sue. 🙂 xx


  10. Anne Copeland says:

    We have nothing but time . . .
    I have not had a bath for many years, perhaps since I was a young girl. It is always showers, and there is something about them that although refreshing, seems to lack that time to contemplate, to actually get to feel as though something sensual and luxurious is happening, something we deserve to give ourselves regularly. I love this poem because it says so much about the speed of life and how it seems to increase as we grow older. I know that I begin to feel as if I am wasting time to think about taking a soaking bath instead of showering. I found two packets of bath salts that are scented herbals and I have thought it would be nice to sit in the tub and return to another time, perhaps sipping a good glass of wine and reading a good book. Perhaps one of these days when I have time . . .


  11. lbeth1950 says:

    Excellent poem.


  12. I had my first bath in two years yesterday. Sounds dreadful doesn’t it, but showers are easier. Mind you, those bubbles in the hotel on my 60th were great to relax in, and all of me turned pruny!
    Good luck at the Bash Sue.


  13. Tina Frisco says:

    It was like looking in the mirror reading this, Sue 🙂 ❤️


  14. Eliza Waters says:

    Haha, well at least the thought was a good one– luxuriously indulging yourself! 🙂


  15. Widdershins says:

    I think it’s one of those urban myths. 😀


  16. Jennie says:

    Haha, Sue!


  17. Jack Eason says:

    Reblogged this on Have We Had Help? and commented:
    A little something special from our Sue (Ani’s human). 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  18. allan hudson says:

    Soaking and reading…I think we’ve all done that at one time. Enjoyed this Sue.


  19. buffalopound says:

    Loved the poem and the scene it conjured up inside my head. Personally, I love the shower.


  20. joylennick says:

    Thank you. Loved it, Sue. Ha ha. Do people bath any more?! Luxurious, decadent thought…xx


  21. Adele Marie says:

    lol, I laughed with this fantastic poem because, every odd time I take my book in the bath I tend to lose time. xxx


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