I took a book into the bathtub today
It is something I used to like doing,
But over the past many years, I would say
I’ve grown expert at high speed shampooing.
‘Me time’ a concept that just passed me by
Or abandoned somewhere long ago…
What with fighting the sons for the bathroom each day
I just couldn’t be bothered, you know.
But I had a day off so I dug out the treats
That were sent from way north of the border
I lined up the lotions and potions and stuff
For a beauty regime made to order.
The book waited patiently just within reach
While I turned from lobster to shrimp
And scrubbed and shampooed and perfumed and soaped…
Had a good girly preen and a primp.
I’d forgotten how long this lark takes, though you know
As I tended to each nook and cranny,
I began getting bored but my vanity said,
“That’s no reason to look like your Granny!”
Now that was a good point, because Granny is dead
And although there are days when I feel it,
I’m still vain enough underneath this thick hide
To do anything to conceal it!
So I womanfully did my best for a while
Until I was bored with the bath,
Then I looked at the clock… twenty minutes had passed
And then really I just had to laugh.
So I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair
And noticed my fingers were crinkled…
And got out double quick when the thought crossed my mind,
“Now I wonder what else will go wrinkled?”
And that, gentle reader, is why the book stayed
On the edge of the bathtub unread,
It’s apparent my beauty regime’s ‘wash and go’
So I’ll save all my reading for bed.