Medication frustration

Image result for frustration cartoon child proof

My eyes no longer work too well…
I cannot read small print;
I don’t know where my glasses are
And always have to squint.

My hands, of course, are even worse,
My fingers ache and swell,
Arthritis, past its sell-by date,
Is putting them through hell.

Now factor in an RSI,
Because I type too much,
Then add a dodgy back and stuff…
I wince with every touch.

And so to get some small relief
To bottles, I retreat,
Not gin, though with the child-proof caps
On pills, I’d drink it neat!

It’s age-discrimination
When they proof the pots for kids,
‘Cause when your hands are playing up,
You can’t take off the lids.

Though some pills come all wrapped in foil
That’s fine and dandy, but…
As soon as you begin to rip
The stuff, you end up cut.

So, reaching for the first aid kit
You rummage for a plaster…
And find they are wrapped in a way
That Einstein couldn’t master.

By now the kitchen is awash
With blood and choice expressions,
You need something to treat you
For incipient depression.

And that comes in a blister pack
Whose blister will not break…
And though you’ve had no pills at all,
You’ve had all you can take!

I do not want a child-proof cap,
A blister pack or foil,
Such innovations are a pain
That set my blood to boil.

Just tell me I’m old-fashioned
And produce a screw top pot
That’s easier to open
Than the packaging we’ve got.

It is reactionary,
But honest, when we’re ill,
We do not want a battleground
To get a single pill!

I am not alone… Marilyn Armstrong posted the other day about this, which reminded me of the half-finished poem…and the number of times I have resorted to sawing the lids off child-proof jars 😉

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
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56 Responses to Medication frustration

  1. Ritu says:

    Oh man Sue! I totally get where you are coming from! There is child proof, then there is ‘child proof’!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh boy, just like your food post (on which I wrote a huge rant that didn’t ‘take’) I agree with every point. I had to go next door for help to open my eyedrops after cataract op.

    Like

  3. quiall says:

    We bend over backwards to accommodate children. We need to start doing the same for the older crowd that have been paying the bloody taxes for decades!

    Like

  4. The poem made me smile, and shows a resilience of character as well as style and ability but mostly I’m sad that someone like yourself has to go through this stuff. I really hope you get better soon and your eyes start to provide normal service soon. Thoughts are with you x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. TanGental says:

    yes i think it’s a way to force us to cut down on medicine. If tablets had come foil wrapped in biblical times I doubt Moses would have bothered with the ten commandments

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sue Vincent says:

      So why make us buy the stuff in the first place? Probably so they can say they did all they could…
      Moses might have had to add another commandment… though he may have covered it with the one about blasphemy…

      Liked by 2 people

  6. emptynestman says:

    Excellent. Curating for my tribe. My own pet peave: ziplock cheese packages that are anything but ziplock. I’ve taken to scissoring those damned packages and moving the cheese to hefty zippy bags.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Medication frustration | Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo – Empty Nest Man

  8. notewords says:

    I LOVE the poem. I am not the only one attacking the damn medication containers with sharp implements!
    Can I reblog this?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. davidprosser says:

    You won’t hear any argument from me.
    xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

    Like

  10. A really wonderful poem. But isnt it great, we also can use ebooks to manage our eye-disabilities. 😉

    Like

  11. What a clever and entertaining poem!
    And those fiendish strip which don’t give way until you apply maximum pressure and then the tablet flies out over you head to vanish into some dusty corner, or down the sink with an accuracy which would leave golfers weeping.

    Like

  12. I thought maybe it was just ME. One of the drawers in my kitchen is FULL of tools. Pliers, hammers (big AND small), screwdrivers — big, medium, and little. Also, those really tiny one to use for fixing eyeglasses … because then there’s when that itty bitty screw comes out of your frames and I (me?) am supposed to put it back. Sure!

    And a sharp pair of pruning shears . The hand-ax is downstairs, but I’m not above going to get it!

    Like

  13. notewords says:

    Reblogged this on notewords and commented:
    For all those who have ever had trouble popping a pill…

    Liked by 1 person

  14. jenanita01 says:

    It must be some kind of conspiracy, that’s all I can say. I have trouble opening anything…

    Like

  15. Oh, Sue, you really have the most amazing way of making life’s frustrations so funny. It helps to laugh at life, what else can you do?

    Like

  16. Widdershins says:

    Ought’a call ’em ‘adult proof’! … you think someone might ask, “Are their any children in the house?” … and if there were none, they’d say, “here have a sane bottle then.”

    Like

  17. dgkaye says:

    Amusing tale about an annoying thing I know well, lol. Almost anything that comes packaged as well seems like duct taped. I’ve found a rubber glove is my best kitchen friend. Next time put one on and you’ll grip the lid better, in fact, any lid that is tight will come off. 🙂 x

    Like

  18. Actually, Sue I’ve heard the way to get the top off a child-proof bottle is to let a child do it. No problem. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

  19. macjam47 says:

    LOL. I can certainly identify with this. The best remedy for those lids is a wrench. If that fails, there is always a hammer.

    Like

  20. Blister packs, pill bottles and jars are the bain of my life. I’ve every kind of opener available under the sun, but still struggle with some things. Ring pulls on tins are the work of the devil I’m sure.

    Like

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