Going the whole hog

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Sue Vincent

Picture: Richard Austin/Rex

I am finally the proud owner of a pair of wellies. Not just boots, but something warm and cosy that flaunts the claim to be entirely waterproof. For me, this is no mean feat…

You could say I’ve gone the whole hog…I now own more shoes, in more differing styles, than at any other point in my life. Where I have almost always been limited to two… one pair of warm boots or seasonal sandals and one pair of heels, I now boast several pairs.

My lack of appropriate footwear has become something of a standing joke over the past few years as I have squelched my way through mud in permeable suede or peep toes and paddled through puddles in lace slippers. Most of the time, it is not that I do not possess the correct article of podiatric apparel, it is merely that I and it tend to be located at some considerable distance from each other in time of need. Usually a couple of hundred miles. The wellies are an attempt to address this problem and were designed to live in the boot of the car so I would always have them to hand. That they were delivered just after a delivery truck squashed my car yesterday suggests that Fate has a real sense of irony.

Shoes have always been a problem area. I remember very well being taken to Clark’s by my mother to have my feet measured for properly fitted affairs. All well and good. Except, there was always the indrawn breath as they measured… the comments about small feet, wider fittings, dodgy toes and that high instep that had them all shaking their heads. There would be the inevitable trying on of all the sizes that were supposed to fit…and I’d still go home with something that came with the advice that either ‘the leather will stretch’ or that I would have ‘ample growing room’. Either way, there would be blisters.

Shoe shopping has been a nightmare ever since.

Meanwhile, I was dreaming of pointe shoes and as the ballet teacher wouldn’t hear of anyone less than 12 wearing them, I was busy teaching myself to dance en pointe without them. Being no sylph, this was probably not a good idea and may explain some of the current anomalous behaviour of my joints.

As soon as I was old enough to put my foot down, I took control of my shoes. If I was going to be uncomfortable, I might as well do it in style. Sadly, this was the 70s so I stood very little chance of achieving my stated goal. Shoes were no longer either sensible or practical… and feet were often wrapped in plastic bags beneath them to try to keep them dry in bad weather. I spent the next decade falling off a variety of tastelessly garish platforms, wrenching the tops off those dreadful white vinyl boots or teetering about on heels so tall I could actually look people in the eye. I also spent the best part of a year with my ankle in and out of plaster casts and bandages for some unfathomable reason…

Even so, I persevered. When I could not go barefoot… my mode of preference… it was heels. High heels. Even the one pair of training shoes I bought through the ensuing decades had high wedges. I walked, worked, drove and managed both pregnancy and toddlers in heels. Gradually, the shadow of the 70s receded and I adopted a more restrained and ladylike style, preferring elegance and discretion in my footwear… but it still wasn’t until manhandling a wheelchair became part of daily life that the heels finally disappeared. A temporary glitch, I was sure… they would be back.

My much-abused toes had other ideas. After several decades of being squished, coaxed and coerced into shapes resembling that of a foot about as well as an elephant resembles, say, an earthworm, the toes made their presence felt. Renegotiating their contract, they imposed a penalty clause that states heels are only allowed on special occasions that do not require me to walk far…or indeed at all for several days afterwards.

A grudging and gradual acceptance of their supremacy sent me in search of alternatives… leading me finally to the cheap ballet slipper that is as near to barefoot as I can get. Gone is the sturdy and supportive leather of the traditional shoe, in its place a vaguely foot shaped and ephemeral concoction of cardboard and lace that sees service for everything from gardening to rock-climbing. Shoe shopping holds no more terrors… I head for the children’s department and buy throwaway footwear that dies before it has had chance to be worn in.

So the new boots are a departure from the norm. Once more my feet will face the world decently glad in good sense and warmth. Quite why their sober black needs shocking pink stitching, I’ll never know, but with luck and the return of my car, they will probably spend most of their time covered in mud. And I can’t wait.

Then all I have to do is figure out how not to go mud-sliding…

Though I wouldn’t mind betting that now I own wellies, the rain will finally stop…

Image: Solent

Unknown's avatar

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
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60 Responses to Going the whole hog

  1. Miriam's avatar Miriam says:
    February 12, 2016 at 03:10

    I have a pair of Bogs, which are essentially my gumboots, they fit me like slippers and are one of the comfiest pairs of shoes I own. My hubby bought them for me a few years ago and they’re honestly one of the best gifts he bought me. Call me crazy but I can’t wait for winter so I can wear them again! I enjoyed your post Sue.

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  2. Eliza Waters's avatar Eliza Waters says:
    February 12, 2016 at 03:18

    Glad you got a pair of wellies for your boggy hikes! Maybe you need a pair of these: http://birthdayshoes.com Quite the look, eh?
    Sorry about your car – hope it won’t be out of commission too long.

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  3. caoimhelionheart's avatar caoimhelionheart says:
    February 12, 2016 at 03:32

    Ok. My feet are SoooOOOOooo glad I grew up in Florida. The flip-flop capital of the world! Oh! And I have 2 pairs of wellies in my 2nd life! Red and, PINK! ! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Marilyn Armstrong's avatar Marilyn Armstrong says:
    February 12, 2016 at 04:10

    My life got very simple when my feet went from difficult to impossible. There are a no more than 3 brands on earth I can wear. I wore heels once during the past 10 years; the blisters took weeks to heal. It’s Clarks sandals in summer, Uggs in winter … and “box shoes” for occasions when I need to pretend to wear heels. At home, I wear socks. I no longer try to wear things that will make my feet unhappy. If my feet are unhappy, the rest of me is miserable.

    I hope you and your wellies are happy. Comfortable feet are not optional. They are a necessity.

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  5. Vibha Ravi's avatar Vibha (www.pixelvoyages.com) says:
    February 12, 2016 at 04:15

    Simply loved the post. And you chose the pics well too. I can’t wear heels at all and whenever I see women going around with impossibly tilted feet, I wonder how they manage. I’m all for comfort, so yayy!

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  6. arlene's avatar arlene says:
    February 12, 2016 at 04:32

    Cute photos…today’s fashion 🙂

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  7. Solveig's avatar Solveig says:
    February 12, 2016 at 08:15

    I am still grieving my hunter boots, I wore them for 4 winters all the time and even in spring summer and fall when the weather was not so nice, but then the 5th winter was a no go holes had appeared. Now that I am coming to the end of a second warm winter with no adequate footwear I will buy myself q nice new pair of wellies. I currently walk around in pink canvas plimsolls, you can imagine the mockery. Heels I have many but living in a town with bad cobble stones got me off them (cannot ruin those Louboutins by getting stuck in cracks now can I?) and then after I moved to a heel loving place (Paris) I quickly fell pregnant and living on the 5th floor, pregnant then with a baby and now with a toddler the heels are nicely stored away for the occasional special occasion.
    Congratulations on your new shoes! I hope they are nice and colourful and don’t look like they are only for gardening and else meant to be hidden away.

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    • Sue Vincent's avatar Sue Vincent says:
      February 12, 2016 at 08:17

      Plimsolls? In winter? We have SUCH a lot in common, Solveig!
      These boots are supposed to be just for muddy walks… but they are so comfortable I can see them being used quite a lot!

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      • Solveig's avatar Solveig says:
        February 12, 2016 at 08:20

        Yep, I am erm getting some remarks about them. But I just don’t like any of the winter boots out there and my feet don’t like them either. I refuse to be uncomfortable if it is for something that I don’t like… Heels I accept they are pretty, but black winter boots??
        Oh and I am constantly told that the leather will stretch, haha last time it burst!! My right foot is a bit bigger than the left, which is no fun.
        Let us know in a month or two how much you actually use them 🙂

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  8. Helen Jones's avatar Helen Jones says:
    February 12, 2016 at 09:06

    Big feet and a high instep always mean I seem to be at the section of the shoe shop filled with clunky clog shoes – I dream of dainty heels and tiny ballet slippers. Still, I’d look a bit odd with small feet, I suppose 🙂 Heels and I have never been friends, especially with all the walking I do – they are definitely for special occasions only, with a pair of flats tucked in my bag just in case.
    Your new wellies do sound very lovely, just what you needed I’m sure. Hope your car situation is fixed soonish 🙂

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  9. Jaye Marie & Anita Dawes's avatar jenanita01 says:
    February 12, 2016 at 10:21

    I don’t have a good relationship with shoes, never did. I prefer to be barefoot, even now I’m decrepit, which is something I suppose when most of my younger days were spent in slingbacks!

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  11. Mary Smith's avatar Mary Smith says:
    February 12, 2016 at 10:39

    Like Helen, I have big feet, broad with a high instep. Shoe shopping has never been fun. Enjoy your wellies – we need pics of you and your wellies splashing through puddles!

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  12. vanbytheriver's avatar vanbytheriver says:
    February 12, 2016 at 11:29

    Your toes renegotiated their contract ?? Brilliant, Sue. ☺ I never understood the presumed fascination women have with shoes. I spend a lot on athletic/running shoes for the walking I do. I have dress shoes in neutral colors, red rubber boots for puddles, and 1970’s vintage Moon Boots for deep snow. That’s it. Not all of us salivate over designer shoes.

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    • Sue Vincent's avatar Sue Vincent says:
      February 12, 2016 at 11:48

      Pretty much… either I took their wishes into consideration or the joints would have to be surgically fused… they hold that over me like a sword of Damocles.

      I like shoes as works of art…but I object to the idea that we should have to squeeze feet into unnatural shapes just because everyone who follows fashion does so.

      Liked by 1 person

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  13. patriciaruthsusan's avatar patriciaruthsusan says:
    February 12, 2016 at 11:29

    I feel your pain, Sue. I’ve fallen down steps three times, once breaking my right ankle in three places. I’m glad to hear you now have a good pair of boots. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  14. macjam47's avatar macjam47 says:
    February 12, 2016 at 13:10

    I hope you weren’t in your car when the truck squashed it. Like you I have a deep seated love of shoes. I once owned some of the cutest shoes on the planet, but my feet and ankles rebelled and sadly, I gave them all away. I no longer wear heels, but have given in to sturdy shoes for walking and wear flats for when I go out. At home it’s flip-flops or barefoot.In winter if my feet get cold in flip-flops, I put my toe-socks on too. You are not alone.

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  15. D. Wallace Peach's avatar D. Wallace Peach says:
    February 12, 2016 at 19:25

    Nothing like a good pair of rubber boots in rain country. Your feet are going to love it with all the long walks you take 🙂 My boots gave out this year and I’ll be looking for the new ones come fall.

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  16. Richard Schulte's avatar Richard Schulte says:
    February 13, 2016 at 10:53

    Going hog-wild for boots!

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  17. alibaliwalker's avatar Ali Isaac says:
    February 13, 2016 at 12:18

    You had me laughing with this Sue… so many foot/ shoe puns that you just slipped in so unobtrusively. I’m glad you now have some appropriate footwear for your country jaunts. And I’m sorry to hear about the squishing of you car-baby… will she be revived, or is she going to meet her maker?

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  18. Hugh W. Roberts's avatar Hugh's Views and News says:
    February 14, 2016 at 12:55

    Don’t forget the wellie-warmers, Sue. They are essential during the Winter months as I find wellies don’t keep the heat in when worn on their own. I’ve often come back and not been able to feel my toes for hours after going out in wellies on cold frosty mornings. The wellie warmers help (just like a glass of brandy does to warm the body up).

    I’m not a shoe person at all. In fact, I hate shoe shopping. I may have five (yes five!) pairs of shoes but I always seem to stick to just the one pair.

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