She’s been shopping.

She doesn’t do it often… not in any quantity… and not the good stuff…apart from my stuff of course.

And she’s been doing things with the flowery smelling squirty and the hoover monster.

I know what that means.

That means we’re having people.

We don’t get all that many, but every so often, you know, I get extra ball throwers come to visit me. I think she thinks they come to see her… I won’t disillusion her. It keeps her happy.

I haven’t quite worked out why she thinks she has to squirt all the furniture before they arrive though. It gets a bit weird… all the beds have to be clean… even mine! Whipped it out from under me and stuffed it in the machine thingy… I ask you… if that fair? Just  ‘cause I’d put it on the sofa she seemed to think I didn’t need it…

It came back. It was all nice and warm too… smelled funny though. Not doggy at all…

She put all my toys in my toy box too.. and even put some of them in the machine!. Not that that lasted long. Soon as the hoover monster had turned its back I had ‘em back out again. I have to say I was getting a bit excited. I mean… there’s cheese in the kitchen… the proper, really smelly cheese….

Maybe the ball guy is coming. He likes cheese… and he lets me share.

Which might explain why I got a bit excited. Forgot myself. De-stuffed Ted.

Made a bit of a mess with it too.

She came back downstairs and gave me the Look… that one… where the eyebrows go up and the chin goes down….and so do my ears. I can’t help it… soon as she does the Look, they go down of their own accord. I retreated to the garden for a bit to collect any spare balls.

When I’d fetched all the balls in she did the other Look… the one that pretends to be the Look but her lips twitch and her eyes crinkle.  She’d made all the stuffing go away…so I took her a ball as a peace offering.

And she squeaked!

She had her hands behind her back… wouldn’t let me see…just kept squeaking… I mean, I tried, I really tried… but she made me sit and wait….

Then gave me a ferret! With squeakers at both ends! It’s really cool… like a dead ferret, but not as smelly… hangs all limp in my mouth and shakes really well!

No stuffing though…

So… not a bad day in spite of the squirty stuff …and the cheese still being out of reach…

Just so long as she doesn’t try making me smell all nice… I’ve had three baths this year… that’s three too many. If she wants to smell nice that’s fine… she can wallow in the tub as long as she likes. Leave me out of it. Literally.

I may go hide under the table for a bit…. Just to be on the safe side…. Got to protect my dignity now I’m an author, you know!

Catch you later,

Much love,

Ani xxx