The nurse, her eyes above the mask both understanding and sympathetic, reached out a gloved hand and squeezed my shoulder in passing. That was it. It was all it took. The floodgates opened and for the next half an hour, I was a wreck. It is one of the more insidious effects of COVID that physical contact… including such small but much-needed gestures of kindness and comfort… are now as rare are rocking-horse eggs.
When my late partner was in hospital with cancer, how many times had a nurse’s arm crept around his or my shoulders or stopped us from hitting the floor? Or when Nick was attacked and left in the coma, and friends were standing vigil by his bedside, how many… including the police officer on guard… had to be held while they came to terms with what was happening? It is, I believe, a common need to turn to another human being at such times… and the virus has robbed so many people of that simple comfort.
This is not just a ‘cancer thing’. From those who have been unable to be there to hold a hand and say goodbye in person to their loved ones, to those who have faced trauma and treatment alone… and the families, friends and many healthcare professionals who have had to watch from a distance, wishing they could reach out and help… do something… but who have been prevented from doing so by the new ‘rules’ we are all urged not to break… while people and hearts are breaking instead. Through all those, to the people would give their proverbial eye teeth for a simple hug… it would be impossible to count how many have been affected.
But today, kindness won and tipped the balance. It had already been a fairly emotional appointment. The immunotherapy, they told me, is still working and the cancer is still behaving… which is splendid news! But while the tumour has shrunk, the rest of me has ballooned, gaining a third again as much weight as I was carrying at the start of this.
One of the problems is simply that, with the masks, none of the staff get to know you, They have never seen you. So how, when you tell them things are getting out of hand, could they possibly know what you mean?
I took ‘before’ photos with me. Ones that show I was not elephantine a few months ago. Not spherical.
While I have tried to make light of it, the whole thing has gone way beyond amusing to painful and debilitating. I can no longer move freely, I struggle to breathe comfortably and find simple tasks like getting showered and dressed are now physically difficult, because my limbs and torso are so tightly swollen they cannot move as they should. And they don’t know why.
“Do you have much of an appetite?” asked a nurse. No, I have mirrors… including in the kitchen. And it is obscene to see anything this swollen stuffing food in its face. I’ve deliberately eaten little and healthily for the past week… and still put on yet another three kilos.
They think maybe it is a cardiovascular problem… perhaps blocked veins… I have yet another scan coming up to have a look. It could be the steroids… except I wasn’t taking them for very long. Or it could just be my body’s reaction to having to deal with the assault of cancer… or its treatment… or something they haven’t even thought of yet. Either way, it has gone way beyond vanity and become a ‘quality of life’ issue, since reaching down for the dog’s ball and falling flat on my face because I couldn’t stop myself. I just hope they can find some sort of answers.
Given the initial prognosis, though, I am extremely grateful to still be here, still ‘me’ in most ways at least. I suppose it boils down to ‘expectations’… the one thing you can be almost certain will disappoint you… and the one thing we stubbornly and blindly seem to cling to. You expect certain things when you go through chemo. The god-awful side effects are a given. You sign up for that. And you hope that the results will be worth it… that you will, by going through it end to end, ‘earn’ back a bit of time with a decent quality of life. Between COVID robbing us all of the social interactions that we need as human beings, cancer and other long term illnesses leaving so many vulnerable and isolated and the fallout from whatever is causing my body to react as it is, I can’t honestly say that on a physical level at least, ‘quality of life’ is living up to expectations at the moment…
But there are other levels and one thing that makes a huge difference is people who care… and I have been made to see that people do. From the ones who put their own lives on hold to be there for you, to the friends who lightly keep a distant eye on you by email or who share their own joys and tribulations with you… to the people like those within the blogging community, who have once again pulled out all the stops to support one of their own. For the past couple of weeks, H.R. R. Gorman, Charli Mills and the folks at the Carrot Ranch have been running a literary Rodeo. The number of wonderful messages I have received has been astonishing… and have not only helped me personally, but have done a good deal to help my sons too, as they take some pride in seeing that Mum might have touched lives beyond their own.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Rumi.
Charli sent me that quote, seeing, perhaps, more than I could see. It should be the easiest thing in the world to say ‘thank you’, but words are never really enough and I have been struggling to find the right words for a long time. Maybe there are no ‘right’ words… except to acknowledge that without such care and kindness… which always translates as love, one way or another… there would be no real ‘quality’ to life at all.
💖🌹🦋
LikeLiked by 3 people
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so brave and courageous Sue and I’m sure your boys are so proud of you.
I’m really sorry you have to go through this and I am rooting for you. If you can get some lymph massage done it might do wonders and a craniosacral treatment. It has helped many of my cancer clients. It’s good the immunotherapy is working.
The Carrot Ranch and so many of your blogging friends are amazing which is how I found you.
We are new friends here so you most likely haven’t seen the post I wrote where I posted this quote. It was in my Grandfathers wallet and now my Dad’s and will go in mine when his time comes.
I do hope you like it.
“The length of our life is Love
Not length of days or years
And as we Love Eternity Appears”.
Keep the faith ❤️🙏❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thank you, Cindy. Sadly… thanks to COVID… there are a lot of therapies that are ‘not allowed’ here at the moment. Our health service is getting very much better at providing or encouraging alternative therapies, but not are now permitted because of the possible spread of the virus. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
you’re welcome Sue.
Yes, that’s sadly true.. I know I haven’t been working on clients hands on and yet I’m starting to feel like it’s essential when I hear more stories like yours. Hang on and in and hopefully soon you can get some hands on.. xoxoxoxoxxo 🙏🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am exceedingly grateful for all the distant healing, the prayers and good wishes… but the hands on therapies make a vast difference, even just to aid relaxation. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I’m sooo glad and i’m sending you some reiki too in my daily prayers.. xoxoxoxo ❌⭕️ do my little exercise i posted but now i don’t know which post I did it on, darn it. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is a terrible time to be sick. You’d think that any time is a terrible time to be sick, but having been sick in less terrible times, being able to have your friends near you is a big thing and it matters. I think I told my husband when this siege began that if i got sick, that they could take me out behind the shed and shoot me, but please don’t send me to the hospital to die alone.
I don’t know why you’ve ballooned like that. It might just be the chemo itself and your body’s reaction to it. I put on 20 kilos after heart surgery and I was barely eating. I’ve been gradually losing it, but it has taken fie years to drop about 6 kilos. I went from really THIN to really bulky. Our bodies just react. I still don’t know why I put on all that weight especially because I was eating very little — I think I’m eating MORE now, but slowly and finally — after 6 years, the weight is beginning to come off. It makes me feel hideous. I know I’m not as ugly as I feel, but it is hard to feel even remotely attractive when you’ve bloated up and you have no idea why.
I thought it just might be my body’s reaction to being invaded with knives and pig valves and electronic pacemaker and about 12 hours of anesthesia and then never having been able for years to do anything physical again. That surgery ended my ability to do anything but walk a bit.
Doctors don’t really have answers for us on this stuff. They know in general how people react to drugs and medication, but they don’t know OUR individual bodies.
Just hang on. Maybe they will find something they can fix and maybe you will start to de-bloat. I can tell you that I know how it feels to go from 120 to 170 lbs. in about 12 weeks. Not only did it feel awful, but it was terrifying. I thought “Is this ever going to stop? Am I just going to keep gaining until I explode?” Fortunately, i didn’t explode.
Lots of love. You are ever on my mind!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes, that’s pretty much where I am and how I feel. It isn’t about how I look… or not so much… it s whether I can continue to function. And as they said ‘three to six months’ at my last visit, six years is too long for me to wait… xx
LikeLike
I’m glad the immunotherapy is working. I pray that the cancer was taken care of from the treatment and won’t come back. I’m sorry to hear the weight problem with no answer yet, Sue. I don’t think you would enough to gain so much in such a short period of time. It seems like it’s something else. A small part of it could be lacking of mobility so the body is not burning too much energy?? I’m just guessing.
I shared with you about a friend who has one collapsed lung and the other lung has small function capacity. With him, I think he did gain some weight but it was over a year’s time.
My left leg is permanently swollen because of the removal of the lymph nodes. The maintenance is a daily chore.
I surely hope your doctor will find out what is going on. At least to illuminate any problems so you have something to work with. You may request for physical therapy?? Would it help?
Good to hear your son was encouraged also with all the care and love from around the world. Sending you big hugs. ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
It is excellent news that the cancer has shrunk wth the treatmentand is not yet coming back… which they believe it will as there is still a sbstantial tumour there. But for now, it is behaving 🙂
I think we are all suffering from reduced mobility with lockdown, and certainly I am not getting all the expercise I used to when we were not in ‘covid prison’, but this amount of weight gain over so short a time is gross and completely abnormal.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is the cancer in your good lung or the somewhat collapsed lung? Some people have pneumonectomy and do well after surgery but it may not apply to all types of cancer. You doctor will observe the the tumor for anything activities. I’m still under surveillance after 11 years remission.
The Covid won’t be over too soon with the new variants. I have a hard time getting enough exercise needed for circulation and put on weight more than I like. I kept ‘swimming in my mind’ because I long for going back to the gym. Swimming is easier for my body. Trying to exercise becomes a chore.
I hope your doctor will find out what goes on with your weight gain to ease your mind. I keep praying for you! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Miriam. The cancer is extensive and metastatic… being ‘small cell’, it gets around a bit 😉 Surgery is not an option, or at least, not for the cancer.
I just hope they can sort this huge swelling out so I can move again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I kind of understand, Sue. My brother-in-law of my baby sister had bile duct cancer in the liver. The cancer seemed disappeared after six months, but came back. The second time around couldn’t get it under control. He died at 51.
Cancer in small cell is not operable. The immunotherapy for my friend has worked for many years now.
Yes, let us know what they do to sort out the swelling. If it’s fluid, they can give your med to flush it out. I had to do it after each hospital treatment as I gained 16 pounds of fluid from IV. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just waiting now to see what they come up with.
LikeLike
Kind wishes to you, Sue. 💖
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
💖
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, I’m going to take some comfort in the good news that you heard and hope and pray they can figure out how to deal with this newer issue….. and though it’s not worth so much, I will virtually hug you in my imagination….
LikeLiked by 3 people
Virtual hugs work too, Gary. Thank you.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on The Magical World of G. Michael Vasey and commented:
Must read blog.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Sue, you’re openness speaks of bravery beyond belief. I’m at a loss for words knowing what you are going through. Hoping for treatment success and new ways to alleviate the new symptoms. My thoughts & prayers are with you. Virtual hugs from across the ocean. ❤️🎶 Christine
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Christine. I appreciate all hugs, virtual or otherwise ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Sue. Thanks for this post which will resonate with so many. It is your honesty and courage in what you are going through as well as your writing that reaches out; and, is that unseen hand that you speak of which is much needed nowadays to help others through their dark times too. Good to know that the therapies, medication and treatments are helping you. Trusting that the gross side effects will be eased and overcome. Stay positive, lass. Best Regards.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Goff. It is so encouraging to see what these new treatments and therapies can do for so many people with cancer. I appear to be both unusual and unlucky with these particular side effects… without them, I think I would be feeling better than I have for years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheers. So true. Keep positive. Have a great day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You too, Goff 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheers.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sweetheart, it’s hard to find a response to this. I’m so glad you can feel the love surging towards you. I hope there are answers out there to help you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks,Jo, so do I. x
LikeLike
💕💕
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wrapping you in much love, Sue and not in an added weight way….your courage is felt. Much ❤️ always. Xxx
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Jane ❤ xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
God bless you Sue, you always find the words, you tell it like it is. You always touch my heart and my mind not only mine but many others. You are a great person. It is the least we can do in these times and we do it gladly. It’s a wonderful bonus to hear it is all helping the boys too. 💜💜💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Seeing that other people care has made a huge difference to how the boys are facing this, Willow. ❤
LikeLike
That is the most wonderful new💜💜💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
💜💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sue, the way you capture and present to us every moment, the good and the bad is such a talent. I am so pleased the treatment is going well, I know from experience it is a long and arduous journey. Your worry over the unexpected side-effects (if that is what it turns out to be) is justified and I really hope they get to the bottom of it quickly for you. On a personal note, I am so grateful I came across your blog and have been so inspired by it. You encourage people to look at things differently. You inspire people to put pen to paper (or more accurately hands to keyboard), those creative pieces would likely not exist without you. You are the roots for so many creative branches who have flourished). Take Care Always. KL ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, KL . I consider it one of the greatest privileges to have had a small part in so many creative endeavours over the years, I really do. I have books on my shelves that started out as writephoto entires by other writers… adnthat is wonderful 🙂
❤ xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful news that the dreaded cancer is retreating, and that so much love is reaching out to you, Sue. Since Anita’s heart attack and surgery, her weight has soared too, and this is depressing her more than the initial trouble, so I hope you manage to find a reason!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Jaye. This has just been getting worse every week since the start and, because no-one ever sees you without a mask, no-one knows what you are talking about… or takes it seriously… until it is out of hand. Give my love to Anita and tell her I do understand why it is getting her down. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bless you, Sue… I will tell her!
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLike
every small act of love is a huge gift to a heart. you have given so much to the world, including all of us, that it is very natural to want to give it back
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is making a vast difference here, beth. It really is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Humans need touch from when we are babies otherwise we don’t thrive. I so hope we get on top of this pandemic before too much irreversible damage is done to how we relate to each other. I hope they find out soon what’s causing the swelling. Sending virtual hugs and looking forward to the day we can share a real one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That really worries me too, Mary, as I see young children refusing human contact because of covid and because ‘Boris says so’. My three year old granddaughter, for one. How this younger generation will relate to their children in a couple of decades may still be playing out such damage.
Hugs, Mary. At least spring still seems to be on the cards ; )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Keep gathering your strength Sue and I hope this treatment does the job and sees the cancer off. It’s a dirty word to me so I want you clear of it. Don’t worry too much about the weight that can be sorted once this is over.
Sending Huge virtual Hugs
ps. My regards to Nick please.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m just worried about what all this weight is doing to my heart, if that’s the cause, David. With my heartbeat racing at twice its normal speed, it can’t be good. Hugs to you!
xxx
LikeLike
It´s good to hear that the cancer is behaving and the immunotherapy is working. But most importantly, it is good that the love is surrounding you and making a difference. Hugs are sparse right now but they are coming at you in spades virtually!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The hugs may have to be virtual, but knowung that they speing from genuine affection is such a gift at this time, Darlene xxx
LikeLike
Oh, Sue, so much love and hugs sent to you from us all. Adele, Becca and Dante the Dawg. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, all. Hugs bak to you too xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just keep going, Sue :hugs:
Have you seen Charlie Mackesy’s book? I open it at random each day. It’s wonderful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I haven’t come across that one. I’ll look it up 🙂
LikeLike
Good news that your treatment is working. Have you had your thyroid levels tested? If the treatment has knocked out your thyroid, that could be why you’re putting on weight and feel lethargic. I would have said it’s a side-effect of steroids, but reading your blog it seems you didn’t take them for long.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent news 🙂
No, I did not take the steroids for long at all… they have never agreed with me and stop me sleeping, no matter how tired I get. Thyroid function is tested regularly and is fine. Echocardiogram this afternoon apparently, though, so maybe I#ll find something out today 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My prayers and warm wishes are with you on this difficult situation. Hoping for the best my friend
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sadje. Fingers crossed they canfind some answers 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope they can. An answer or reason comes as a relief as then we know that they can do something about it. My best wishes
LikeLiked by 1 person
I certainly hope they willbe able to address this and do something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope so. 😘🥰
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh Sue. Yet another beautiful post, and again one I can relate to personally. It is interesting, I have never felt that I lacked for people who care about me in my life. But since my cancer diagnosis last August, I have experienced kindness and compassion on a level I could never have expected. It has humbled and touched me and I am filled with immense gratitude and faith that “humanity” still exists, it’s not all gone down the tubes, and there’s hope for us all. I’m glad you are experiencing more of the same. And you are so right when you talk about its impact of “quality of life.” I feel exactly the same way. Thank you so much for sharing this journey of yours. I love having it keeping me company on my own journey. Congratulations on your good news!! Celebrate each and every bit of it ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is indeed reassuring to see just how much kindness there is at a personal level from so many people, Fransi. Humbled and touched are two words I can’t help but relate to since my diagnosis either. I had no idea how much people cared… ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is amazing, Sue, some virtual strangers. It has made me much more hopeful about the future of the world, especially with such a kind, compassionate and empathetic President in the White House now. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know what you mean, Fransi… so many small kindnesses have their roots in so much good ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, very true Sue.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The thanks goes to you, Sue. It’s always good news/bad news it seems. Hopefully they can figure out the swelling. In the meantime, hugs. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll focus on the good news here and let the docs try to sort out the other stuff 😉 Hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a good plan!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I sometimes wish WordPress had more than a like button, sending you a big, gentle, virtual hug xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Christine xx
LikeLike
❤️
LikeLiked by 2 people
A simple touch by another human, however fleeting, Is invaluable. That is what I miss most and that is what I crave. You may not have touched my shoulder but you have touched my heart and I will never forget that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. ❤ The same is true of so many in this little community of ours… I hope people know how much of a difference they make…
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Pattys World and commented:
This lady is one of the kindest and bravest I know.
Sue, I love you, may Mother Father Goddess and God love and bless you, may harmony find you and blessid may you be.
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLike
You’re going through a time, Sue, the stresses and heartaches of which are hardly possible to imagine. Yet you show, as you always have done, the most extraordinary ability to rise above it and write with a devastating, heart-warming honesty. You are, as you probably know by now, a true inspiration to many people. And on top of that, what you are giving to your sons in this period is not possible to quantify or compute. But one thing is sure – it will be with them to the end of their days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jeff. Just having time to be with my sons is worth all the rest.
LikeLike
How difficult it must be to not be able to give the acts of comfort that they/we/you/ want to give. I’m not a hugger by nature (unless I am very comfortable with someone….like my kids/grandkids/spouse). So I have spent my life saying to people “consider yourself hugged”. I wish, though, I was ‘there’. I would quarantine for 2 weeks, 3 if necessary, gown up, cover myself in plastic, and hug you.
(Side note…I always resisted steroids as a treatment, one time I could not. I did not gain weight. Until AFTER I stopped taking them. Coincidence? Or is that a possibility as well?)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate to that… I was never really a hugger either… until one day I was, and it was only the spiritual work that caused that shift. But the comfort of human touch is something else and so needed by so many.
As to the steroids… I took them for about a month five months ago and have been ballooning ever since. It is one of the things under consideration, though I should have stopped getting bigger long ago…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It hurts to think of all of the people needing that touch (physical and/or emotional).
I hope they find the reason. I ballooned for about 6 weeks after I stopped the steroid. I was so happy when I ‘didn’t’ while I was on it. Surprised me after the fact.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Hugs For Sue | The Chatter Blog
Pingback: Acts of kindness #cancer — Sue Vincent’s Daily Echo – Sandpiper Shores
I’m glad to hear that your tumor has shrunk, Sue, but sorry that other challenges persist above and beyond treatment. You’ve talked several times about the lack of physical touch and comfort and how painful that is. I’m glad that the outpouring of support in other ways is making a little difference. You are well loved.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It makes a huge difference, Diana… though it worries me profoundly just how many are suffering for the lack of touch in these covid-empoverished times.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We can’t get vaccinated soon enough. I hope that is an option for you and soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
All done, not that i makes any differecne whatsoever to how life unfolds on a daily basis. Still in lockdown, still masked and isolated. Still socially distanced…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope there are some precious hugs ahead for you, soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So do I, Diana.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said, Sue. Love is such a great power for good, however it manifests itself. You continue to be in my prayers. Warm hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Alexnader! Hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sending lots of love, healing thoughts and prayers, Sue… 💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Bette ❤
LikeLike
Remember, Sue, that we ‘see’ daily what is on your inside, not your outside! And what is inside is just short of miraculous!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve just been listening to what’s on the inside through a microphone… it may need a plumber 😉
Seriously, Noelle… thank you.
LikeLike
Keep up your spirits and fight hard!
Once you tame the cancer,weight will also come down!
You are a beautiful soul and that is what Matters!
So stay positive and strong!
Sending you 🙏🙏prayers for good health!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The cancer is behaving nicely at the moment. I hope it continuews for a while 🙂
LikeLike
It will!
Don’t worry.
Everything will turn out fine!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
I’m so glad the chemo is still making the tumour shrink, Sue. It’s such a pity we can’t have that little human contact. That hug we all need, but especially people in your position.
Have a virtual hug from me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Vivienne. Hugs of any description are most welcome x
LikeLike
Sending virtual hugs and positive vibes Sue. I’m not a hugger, but there are times when we all need that physical contact, however fleeting, just to ‘feel’ as well as know we are loved. And you are Sue, by many. So glad the cancer is behaving and hopefully the rest can be attended to shortly. Thoughts as always are with you every day. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Di. Even a fleeting touch can be enough to change the day… ❤
LikeLike
I know.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Glad you have had some positive news about the tumour responding to treatment Sue and that is precious time, but as you say when you feel like shite and look like a blimp there is little pleasure to be found. I hope they find a solution for the bloating soon in the absence of lymphatic drainage massage. It is in a way a relief to have an emotional meltdown and if anyone deserves one it is you, and you are right, our individuality has been hidden behind the masks. love and hugs Sally..♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
The news about the tumour is great… I’d just like them to find a way to allow me to move enough to enjoy it. I was actually struggling today to get upone step… which, after all the hills I’ve climbed in recent years, would be laughable if it were not so tragic. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully a solution after the latest test… it seems there is a great deal they still don’t understand, particularly as this seems to be quite common following treatment. ♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
The immunotherapy is such a new treatment, let alone the way that chemo affects people… and the cancer itself. ❤
LikeLike
It seems there are many different reactions to treatments. I hope they can settle your reactions. Please do eat to keep healthy.
I ordered and received two of your books. I will take my time to go through them.
I remember when I was teaching young children and was told that we couldn’t hug them anymore. That was over twenty five to thirty years ago because of undo abuse of children in the news. That was so hard – to not gift hugs. And to worry about being accused of abuse. Covid had taken more away than we can imagine. Unable to gather, constant worry about exposure. It seems the list is very lengthy and to top an illness of any additional kind just seems overboard.
I am honored to be a small part that which may bring some comfort via long distance virtual hugs to you and your family. (((Hugs))) ~Jules
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jules. I don’t think the care and the good done within the ‘virtual’ community can be overestiimated, It makes a huge differrence at individual levels…and I think we are a genuine force to be reckoned with collectively, if we choose to use our voice.
As to the matter of hugs, it always saddened me that the little old lady I would talk to in the street felt the need to ask if they could offer candy or seek permission to touch a child with its parents. I know the problems caused by abuse all too intimately, so I can understand the ‘overkill’ approach. But I can also still remember being a child myself and those interactions with the elderly were precious and part of growing an learning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some very creative folks have come up with ways to allow hugs… they’ve created long gloves/arms attached to thick clear plastic walls in some nursing homes. I even read where a family created a portable hug wall for their own family so that their children could hug the grandparents.
Seeing a face via zoom isn’t quite the same thing. But keeping in touch does help.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I does help, but it is never the same as human presence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good news regarding the tumors. We will have to work on that swelling…I’m so glad that nurse gave you a squeeze. 🤗❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was much needed. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
bloody hell, Sue, you find my tap so easily. You craft delightful posts that fall within the meaningful ramble genre and then you make me blub. Dog thinks I’ve gone potty. My children live together with their partners and we visited to deliver b’day pressies to my daughter. They stood in a little group as they talked to us, standing together on the pavement. They smiled, hugged and waved us off. I’m glad they have each other to hug and console, but boy would it be lovely to be in that bubble with them. Naturally Dog gave not a stuff and went from one to the other to be petted. I hope you can hug your boys and grand sprogs soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Living alone, I do have a ‘support bubble’, Geoff… and that allows me the odd hug. It worries mo so much though for all those who don’t have that.
LikeLike
*Hugs*
I’ve been sharing posts around for the rodeo contest. I was going to join in, but right now I’m struggling to write anything at all, so I haven’t been able to.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think a lot of people are finding writing ahrd art the moment, Tori. Hugs.
LikeLike
Mordant humour – I bet you’re hoping that next time someone sticks a needle in you, you go whizzing around the room like a deflating balloon!
Affection – big interwebz hugs coming your way.
Practical – do you have one of those stocks with a cup thingy on the end that can pick up balls off the ground and launch them with the mere flick of a wrist, well, and a bit of elbow as well?
Swear-words – insert the usual at how atrocious this side-effect is.
Three cheers and waving hands in the and running around in circles like Kermit – for the good news. 😀 😀 😀
XX
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘Sticks’, not ‘stocks’ Heheheheh 😀
LikeLike
I would give much for that pin-stick whizz 🙂
Sticks, stocks… no… but I may have to ge one! Swear words duly inserted… 😉 xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
((( ❤ )))
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
A horrid disease and a horrid virus in a horrid time of the world. Yes, there are some things that only a hug or a compassionate touch on the arm that can make us feel complete as human. So much mental anguish without the physical parts of our world. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can imagine that you feeling pretty much the same way as I do, Debby… you have so much to deal with right now a hug or two wouldn’t go amiss. And although virtual ones are not the same… they are being sent ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
And they are being so appreciated Sue. You are so right, there’s nothing like a big loving hug ❤ Btw, I featured your poeme on my blog the other day if you'd like to take a look ❤ https://dgkayewriter.com/the-sue-vincent-rodeo-classic-carrot-ranch-literary-community/ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Debby, I must have missed that! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have enough to contend with ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad ‘quality of life’ is still in the affirmative, despite the edema, Sue. I am glad you are still with us, so many have come to love you, you know!
I prescribe a ‘designated hugger’ that comes by regularly, at least once a day. Failing that, the daff dog will have to do. 😉 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
The dog does her best… and gets lots of hugs. Unfortunately, we would probably be fined for a human version under lockdown rules 🙂
LikeLike
So no ‘pods’ allowed there? I’m grateful that we’re allowed to have agreements between friends and family to socialize with a designated few without recourse. We wear masks, of course, and mostly stay outside, but I have asked for a couple of hugs from my son and his fiancé. Four in a year isn’t over the top, exactly, but worth the risk, for my sanity, at least.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We have ‘bubbles’… and I will take any hugs offered…
LikeLike
❤ Go ahead and ask for one (or offer one yourself, hehe)… gives a whole new take on 'buy one, get one free.' 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I seem to have collected a couple today 😉
LikeLike
YES! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
such a beautiful post, Sue. I’m glad to hear the cancer is behaving and that the tumour is shrunk. Hopefully the next phase of the treatment will be figuring out the weight gain issue.
and how nice to have so many people reaching out to you and caring about you, and how nice that is has had a positive effect on your sons as well…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jim. That was excellent news 🙂
It is easy to seethe ripple effect from unpleasant events… but I think we need to remember that the ripples spread just as widely from acts of kindness and care too. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
kindness spreads – pay it forward…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I try to 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so pleased to hear that what is going on over at the Carrot Ranch, is also helping your sons, Sue. There is such a powerful source here in the blogging world. It amazes me just how much help and support are out there. To me, it’s always outweighed any negativity the blogging world sometimes throws at us.
Good to hear about the tumour shrinking. By sharing with us what you’re going through is a sign of just how much of an influencer you always have been to those who encounter you and your blog.
Take care.
Hugs.
xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Hugh, I can only agree about what the people of the blogging world are capable of achieving. When they/we pull together, it is a real force to be reckoned with. Our collective voice, one of these days, could move mountains on the global stage… as it does already at a personal level.
Hugs xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sue – I’m so sorry to read this – such a difficult time compounded by your health problems. Sending positive and healing thoughts your way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Barbara. It iis a difficult time for so many people…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the great news, Sue! Congratulations, be blessed! Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
:-)) Its going on wonderful. Thats best. Please stay save, dont try to fight with the virus. Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Often, for me, words take place of me being able to be on hand to sit beside, or touch a shoulder, or give a hug – whether in wider bloggy land, email, letter writing BEFORE COVID and things, now or NOW – well – – sometimes, the folks you have touched and impacted – those who understand the ‘pros/cons’ of your journey just now on ‘treating this’ etc., well – they just flock where and how they can to do a substitute for ‘hug’ ‘hand on shoulder’ sitting next to you holding your hand while you cry and get it out of your system as best as you can – what ever! Sigh – there are those who have wished to come hug me – those I wished desparately I could be there to just “hug” instead of typing, texting words, that to me, are inadequate – but well – – thanks for posting the update – cuz I think of you so many times, everyday – dealing with cancer AND Covid stuff – all at one time – rather sucks on some fronts, just now – but on other fronts? still amazes me the adjustment many in my circle are making without even realizing it – they just are adjusting – to ‘what is, now’
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can only deal with what ‘is’… even if you would prefer to deal with it in very dfferent ways. But I am glad of the many hugs that have come in as emails, kind words, or shared laughter… they are all expressions of care. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, Sue. Hugs. I can’t imagine. Take care and God bless you and your family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Traci xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good to hear you’re getting treatment again. I’ve alerted a friend who is also praying for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen! That human caring and contact is most important. God bless you, Sue. It is YOU who have touched so many.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m hoping everything stays clear, and that COVID ends soon! Physical touch is incredibly important, as is any sort of care. I’m also hearing good things over at the Ranch, so hoping that’s going well for you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Acts of kindness #cancer – Everything about my late grandmother
Beautiful 😍❤️😍
LikeLike