‘Just to be clear,’ I said, knowing I was in no way being clear, ‘there will be no further austerity measures while I am in charge.’

I ended the speech, turned and walked away from the podium, the loud applause ringing in the background.

Not a bad start, I thought. This wasn’t so difficult after all. I had said I would cut taxes, raise social care allowances, raise the minimum wage and extend the legal minimum annual leave that all employees must receive. And of course, cut immigration, even though the economy would collapse without all those foreign workers.

Of course, I had no plan to deliver any of this, but it would make for good headlines, which was all anyone really paid attention to.

There was a tap on my shoulder as I entered my new office. It was my new assistant.

‘Erm, the Head of the Treasury would…