It is often said that optimism is a failure or refusal to recognise what is. This is untrue. Optimism is the ability to look reality squarely in the eye and decide you want a second opinion.
Take this week, for example. In fact, not even the whole of this week…
It started when the flies came back. Last year, newly ensconced in my little flat, I had a plague of flies. I blamed the herd of cows at the bottom of the garden… well, you would, wouldn’t you?
I was wrong.
They appear to have hatched in the vents designed to channel fresh air into my kitchen. Through an utter lack of decency and common sense, instead of seeking the great outdoors by flying upwards, they all flew down into the kitchen instead. They will find meagre pickings, I have to say… but that is their problem. Mine is keeping the persistently friendly little blighters off my skin and my dinner. They also appear to have a penchant for coffee and see my cup as a kind of en suite swimming pool…
They are resistant to open windows, brandished weapons and lethal chemical concoctions squirted at close range.
Coffee seems to work though.
That was bad enough, but the ingress of the flies was immediately followed by the loss of the ball. This humble tennis ball is the special ball of the small dog. We saw it fall, quite gently, into the bush… just beyond the fence. There should have been no problem finding it… yet, in spite of rummaging through the thorns, no sign of it can be found. The small dog is distraught. Four days later, she still will not adopt another ball and refuses to play. She looks at me, waiting in her play stance, expecting me to magically reinstate the ball. The one she has cherished, groomed and cosseted for well over a year. When I fail to make it reappear, she sighs and walks away, the very image of misery and accusation.
Meanwhile, the doctor who has been assiduously collating test results and ordering yet more, has given me not one, but three possible diagnoses. A bit like buses… there is never one when you need one, then three come along at once. Unlike buses though, I seem to have little choice in which one I go with, especially as all three may yet be correct. And I don’t like the sound of any of them, thank you very much! A simple, ‘you’re allergic to Mondays’ would have been nice, but no, he had to get technical…
Then this morning, as if the week wasn’t already bad enough, the PC blew up. Bang, flash, smoke…the whole kit and caboodle. In spite of my best efforts with a screwdriver, a pair of rubber soled shoes and a pack of fuses, it remains stubbornly defunct, holding my files, programmes, research, manuscripts and photographs to ransom. And that was before I…or the flies…had managed my coffee!
As a bonus, my son’s cat has been leaving dismembered wildlife around the house for me to clean up all week and one of my fish seems to have become a cannibal.
There is no questioning my acceptance of reality this week.
But, I am an optimist. Even if I may have to grit my teeth sometimes as I remind myself of the fact.
If there are too many flies in my kitchen to make cooking comfortable, then not only do I not have to cook, but I have no dishes to do either…I save water and can thus feel suitably and ecologically proud of myself… and my waistline cannot help but benefit. As to the coffee… maybe I drink too much anyway.
As the small dog’s ball cannot be found then on the one hand, I do not have to throw it every two minutes and on the other, her fixated identification with that ball will inevitably be broken. Perhaps she will adopt another ball or perhaps she will accept the many instead of the one. She may learn valuable lessons, including the joys of forgiveness. And it really is too hot to be chasing balls anyway.
The doctor at least has something to work with now and any answer is better than the ruddy limbo I’ve been in for months. He may even be able to start making me feel better and frankly, that will do nicely.
As for the PC… well, I do have some of my work backed up, thank goodness… or have ways to do so. And I had not, thankfully, erased all the photos from my camera after uploading for once. Normally, I do so…and all the fabulous things we’ve still to share would have been lost.
And let’s face it, the PC has been a pain for years, crashing innumerable times a day and losing goodness-only-knows what. I’ve needed a new one for a long time and only economics have prevented its replacement. Although it will be a time-consuming and expensive problem to reinstate everything I need, the benefits of a non-crashing computer will be wonderful.
In the meantime, I have the laptop even if it is so uncomfortably hard to use that I have to keep breaking off to curl up with a book. This is a terrible hardship, of course, and means I actually have to rest. Still, at least it keeps me working.
The cat is just being a cat…but thankfully, she does not live with me. The fish is probably just cleaning up after the demise of a tank-mate, which means I won’t have half a fish to fish out.
So all in all, it has been a week of silver linings… gifts I would not have seen had things not gone wrong. So I can even be grateful that they did.
That’s how optimism works and it even comes with a number of benefits for health and wellbeing, so to an optimist, even bad days can be good for you 🙂
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for doctorly solutions.
I’m sure Small Dog will get used to another or many balls. I know that look they give. Pisch was a past master at it. Eventually, he came to adore several balls and the sulking was temporary!
As for the flies, we couldn’t help but laugh behind their backs at another ex-pat couple who discovered they’d bought a piece of land and built a house within sniffing and fly-infesting distance of the local tip. It pays to do your research. I didn’t feel sorry for them as they were a poisonous couple! Accentuate the positive. x
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They know just how to make you feel like the greatest beast in nature, don’t they?
The flies are a pain, but will eventually depart…and I will get out the bleach and disinfectant again… Just bad luck, I suppose, that they nest in the air vent… x
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Reblogged this on .
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Thanks, Jaye 🙂 x
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The only high spot of the week has to be the positive medical breakthrough…
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Oh, I don’t know… 🙂
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Ahhh Sue. Doesn’t always seem that when it rains, it pours (sorry). We all have days like this and you definitely had your share. Keep the chin up and thing will improve. Look at the positive, you now can justify buying a new computer. HUGS.
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never needed to justify it. Just afford it…which is a whole different matter!
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I love the optimism! I too am an unrepentant optimist!
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A little does go a long way, doesn’t it? 🙂
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Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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What a painful, wonderful, awful, hopeful post! I’m sure your optimism is completely well-founded and that things will look up soon. Only… I’m totally worried about The Ball. I know that look…
Peri doesn’t bond so dramatically with particular balls (although she will, of course, only deign to chase HER balls—if another dog grabs or licks one, it must be abandoned forever). But I’m a klutz. No matter how much I try, there is one particularly vicious swath of ivy that sucks in my ball throws and refuses to release them. It’s about 25-feet above ground, so my attempts to coax the balls back out usually result in the loss of whatever I’m throwing at the ivy. Once a summer, the expensive-as-hell real gardeners come and cut back the ivy, with a resultant ball harvest that could keep an entire tennis club going for months. Not to mention the various garden implements, umbrellas, barbeque tools, shoes, etc. that I’ve thrown at the ivy in completely failed ball retrieval missions. Peri, of course, refuses to have anything to do with the retrieved balls, as they are obviously inferior ball-deserters and deserving of nothing but her complete scorn.
But… I’m trying to channel my inner-Sue here. So the wannabe-optimist is saying that we’ve now moved to a house without ivy! Now her balls disappear into the waves on a daily basis down at “her” beach. Seems that tennis balls which are repeatedly and delightedly retrieved and chewed over tend to sink. Leaving a dog to give me The Look that says someone who really loved her would be diving into those waves to retrieve her sunken treasures.
So yes. I’m sure you’ll sort the rest of it, and I’m so sorry for all you’re going through right now. But mostly, I’m worried about The Ball.
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I have to say, Barb, that The Ball worries me most of all. To the exclusion of all others she has lavished her attention on this one for so long that she is not at all herself. I would like to blame the heat… but she loves that. She is obviously well, as her attacks on the hot air balloon/postman/pigeons demonstrated today. Just deeply, obsessively, bereft…
And I feel like a murderess. And it wasn’t even me that lost it…. but I am the one who is here and on the end of The Look….
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You don’t think Ani blew up the computer in revenge for the lost Ball do you?
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It would not surprise me at all, Mary 😉
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Am I the only one smiling at humor in the face of adversity? Great post, despite the reality. Thank goodness for rose colored glasses. You wear them well.
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Thanks, Jennie 🙂 Pink is always a good colour, don’t you think? 😉
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Definitely!
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Your optimism is admirable, Sue. Hope things change for the better soon.
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There is always a balance of good stuff and bad. It is a choice to go with the better side 🙂
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Agreed!
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You are *the* GOLD MEDAL optimistic reframer, Sue – especially about the news from your doctor. I’m sending positive vibes your way on that one – and thoughts of an early transition for every single one of those dreadful flies.
I’m glad you have a laptop – but I feel your pain. Could a cheaper immediate solution be connecting a decent-sized monitor, a full-sized keyboard and a cheap back-up drive until you collect some coin while you are looking for a bargain on a computer, switching the peripherals when the time comes? Just a thought.
Tink regularly loses his well-chewed tiny-mouth balls, but – thank the lord – he’ll readily accept another until I get it together to move the furniture and find all the ones that are undoubtedly hiding just beyond my flashlight beam. His “looks” are mostly when he wants to go to bed when I’m still working, when he wants to go outside when I’m still working, when he wants to go on his porch when I’m still working – and well, whenever I’m intently focused on the computer instead of on him. Like now.
I guess that means it’s time to put us both to bed before the sun comes up. G’nite. Onward and upward.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
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I wouldn’t know where to start, Madelyn… and can’t foresee being PC-less for long. I can’t work well like this…. xxx
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Typing on a laptop keyboard makes me crazy – my fingers slide all over the thing and I spend more time editing out and retyping than I do working – so I truly GET it!
xx, mgh
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The angle gets me too… lots of bits that ache too much 🙂 xx
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Yet – that too.
xx,
mgh
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I had a day like your week yesterday…I always feel like things can only get better (once I’m done complaining, of course). Hopefully they can get your health in order, then the rest should be easier to get through. As to Ani, I’ve lost beloved things myself. Time is the only healer. But those eyes are hard to ignore. (K)
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Those eyes are the realest and most central thing in my world when she looks at me…
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I wish I was as successful as you at being optimistic. I’m trying, but not managing it as well as you are.
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I’ve had a long time to practice, Victoria 🙂
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Pingback: Overcoming the bad to get to the GOOD | ADD . . . and-so-much-more
Thank you for the mention, Madelyn 🙂
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Just included a link to this article in today’s post, Overcoming the bad to get to the GOOD – with a bit of text to encourage folks to jump over to read it.
The week is a-l-m-o-s-t over – you made it to Friday, and you came through with flying colors.
xx,
mgh
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Thanks, Madelyn. Just had to rescue your comments from spam! xx
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Interesting. The WordPress Gremlins must have changed something again. I just found several from three different “regular” commenters earlier today, during one of my RARE digs through the spam-trash.
Hopefully, now that I have “unspammed” their comments, Akismet will learn that they are legitimate members of my community for the future (and yours will let me through their gates as well.) Thanks for letting me know.
I get soooooo much link-spam (well over a million caught by Akismet alone, according to the spam counter on my sidebar) that it is *extremely* rare I have the time to dig through the trash – especially since it is also rare to find anything but legitimate link-spam, which prompted my first suspicion.
I especially love the *many* comments they try to leave on my more humorous “About” – like how much the article has helped them and how long they have been looking for “quality information” on the condition. Great to know that being me has been upgraded to a “condition.” 🙂
xx,
mgh
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Tell me about it. Whatever WP are up to, they seem to have been messing with my subscriptions behind my back and I dropped 300 followers in a split second.
I dread to think what they are up to now…
Spam is fun though… there are some hilarious ones 🙂 xx
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Not ENOUGH fun, in my humble opinion – one smile per hundred or so.
I LOVE the many that somehow believe that anybody is likely to approve & respond to their make-wrong about “cleaning up numerous spelling errors,” especially when I find them about my LinkLists — nothing but links to articles by topic.
Do these folks have a secret LinkSpammer “comment share” club or WHAT? I wish I had their apparently copious amount of free time – tho’ I’d use it in another way entirely!
xx,
mgh
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The comments are so often the same, give or take a word or product. The real problem lies with the plausible ones… a novice blogger can easily get caught out with some of them. x
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I know I approved a few of the more “clever” ones at first – probably why I get so much link-spam now. Hope springs eternal – or maybe they’ve sold my name to some sucker list that gets passed along. I’ve had to set increasingly stringent spam controls (and I KNOW few folks read the warning in my sidebar).
I’m fine with helping out regular followers with something they are marketing (i.e., authors promoting books with links to same etc.), and actually encourage folks to leave links to relevant content. But sometimes newbie bloggers try to promote everything they’ve ever written in a single comment.
They get spammed, of course, and regular combing through the spam trash is far beyond all reasonable expectations of the amount of time I can spend engaging with comments.
There have been a few days when I’ve gotten 200 or more link-spammers in a single day. I have to batch delete if I want to have a life beyond blogging at. all.
xx, mgh
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I can generally recognise a page of spam without deleting real comments these days… I get an awful lot too.
I don’t mind helping others out either…and actively see guest posts. Links to relevant articles are welcome… but it irks me when you get the solitary visit/comment that just says ‘great post…check out my blog/article at…’
Those and multiple links get trashed, edited out or spammed. xx
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I’m with you about those folks who are commenting simply to promote themselves to win some sort of Followers per Day award – or maybe to be able to attract a bunch of advertisers so that they can become one of those tedious YouTubers who brag about quitting their day job to make a fortune as a blogger ::side-splitting snorting here::
I don’t like to see those “please follow my blog” comments on ANYBODY’s blog – and never click to visit. Why encourage that behavior?
Nobody wants to blog if nobody’s reading, of course, so we all have readership at the back of our minds, but those “statistics” bloggers who comment are simply not my cup of tea (coffee, actually :))
xx,
mgh
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Of course we want readers… but I’d rather have one reader who reads than fifty alleged followers who never come by. I can’t visit all the blogs I follow every day, but I do get emails from all those I always try and read…the rest I check via the Reader. If I don’t comment, I’ll leave a like to say I’ve read… but never a ‘check out my blog’,,,,
Yes, coffee for me too. 🙂 xxx
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I’m the same – except that I only follow by email if there is NO other way. The e-glut is worse than my spam folder!
I try to leave some sort of comment to indicate I’ve been and read, but I simply can’t keep up with everyone every day – especially when some bloggers post two or three (or more) articles at once (that’s where the few mostly-rebloggers I follow are golden!)
I can’t even get to every post by single-post per day bloggers for every blog I follow – sometimes they fly by without even the stats-help of a like from the Reader – but I do my best to drop by for a read and a chat as often as possible (esp. for favs like yours) – that’s what makes blogging fun for me.
I think most people who have been around for more than a year end up making friends with same and few of us personalize lack of attention for lack of time.
xx,
mgh
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I tried using just the Reader for a while, but found I miss too many things I want to read…so I stick with email and work through what I can every day. It takes time, but it is me who is benefiting by reading, learning and being entertained. 🙂 xx
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I’d NEVER see as many by email – my mind boggles and my ADD eyes cross at the amount of marketing spam that comes in every day. I used to take time to attempt to get off those lists I never signed up for to begin with, but it didn’t help a bit.
I traced the source to LinkedIn, btw – so now I avoid that as well. I’m sure I would enjoy at least SOME of their “important info” – but I can only do what I can do. I simply trust that my attention will be drawn to most of what’s important for my growth and education.
xx,
mgh
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Ah… I wondered about LinkedIn… the spam does seem to go up after being on there…
xx
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It seems they have a spam loophole of some type – and one’s email is visible on that platform to “friends” of “friends.” Plus, LI itself sends a ton of email trying to get you to click back to the site.
There were a few “tappers” I approved as contacts who emailed a great deal – then before I knew it I was inundated with tapping emails – and that is not a format I’m eager to explore in quite that much depth – lol.
Similar experience with the coaching community — and I am certainly not interested in signing up for coach training or mentoring from a bunch of coaches trained by someone I trained years ago! ::sigh::
xx,
mgh
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PS – Did you find out what’s going on with your subscriptions? 300 lost is MAJOR!!! They need to FIX that post haste!
I just took a screen shot of mine so I can pay attention as well.
xx,
mgh
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Nope… no idea as yet. Doubtless it will all come out eventually.
I don’t mind if they are just those followers who are no more than numbers, but if I’m missing subscriptions, I wonder how many others are too and not noticing? x
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Might be a good idea for a post – or shoot a comment over to the Ape – he posts warnings of that type from time to time already. (Chris the StoryReadingApe). I’m SURE you are not the only one – and I’m sure that some of the dropped, at least are legit readers.
Come to think of it, lately I have had to click “follow” on more than a few blogs I believed I WAS following already. I thought it was my swiss cheese brain, but now I wonder.
xx,
mgh
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There’s a post scheduled for morning, Madelyn. It is worth checking those subscriptions… xx
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Thanks, Sue.
xx,
mgh
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xx
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Holy crap Sue, when it rains, it pours. Almost unbelievable, but wow, I do love your optimism! Thank goodness your work is backed up. I love the cloud! 🙂 ❤
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Not all of it is, Debby, but I hope I can recover what isn’t. ❤
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I hope so. ❤
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So do I… ❤
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I love how you have stated the positives about a week from hell. I hope the flies move on, I really hope Ani finds a new ball and I pray and send healing to you for your ailments. coffee is as coffee does a wonderful job. xxx
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Well…we made it with the ball, so one down… 😉 xx
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Wishes for good luck for the rest. xxx
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I may need it 🙂 xxx
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I got behind on emails so I hope by this time the doctor found something to make you feel better. I have a new laptop and have yet to discover how to back things up on it. I keep discovering new things about it so hopefully, I’ll discover that too. I hope things right themselves for you, All the best, Sue. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. A good many theories, but still at the more tests, no answers stage…which is getting wearing. Xx
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