The dishwashing debate

Posted on March 13, 2016 by Sue Vincent

'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'

I loaded up his dishwasher… it isn’t mine, you see,

But every Friday morning piles of dishes wait for me.

The night before sees lads at play, and men who like to dine

The dishes are all theirs, of course, the haute cuisine was mine.

*

I never had a dishwasher, I never had the space…

I just had hordes of teenage gannets mulling round the place.

No matter what I cooked or baked, it went at lightning speed,

I never really knew how many mouths I’d have to feed.

*

Right from the start their friends would come and knock upon the door,

It started with just one or two, but soon came many more.

They’d smile up, looking hopeful, saying, “Missus, have you baked?”

I’d let them in and feed them, then they’d run off duly caked.

*

But then they grew, instead of looking up they now looked down,

I’d feed them when they rolled in after nights out on the town.

I’d feed them when ‘she’ broke their hearts, and feed them and their mates…

And washed so many dishes that I’m worth my weight in plates.

*

But now my oven’s silent, just the dog and me at home,

While they have both grown up and now have kitchens of their own.

But every Thursday morning I still cook a special meal,

And they’ll load up their dishwasher, or leastways that’s the deal.

*

So every Friday early, long before my son appears,

I’m clearing up his kitchen and the evidence of beers.

It looks like Christmas dinner with the carnage they create

But this time I have luxury…and dishwashers are great.

*

I never had a dishwasher and now there’s no excuse

It really is unjustified with just one plate in use.

The dog, of course, has volunteered, she’d happily step in…

She’ll even clear the fridge and any food bound for the bin.

*

I guess, if after years of being wedded to the sink,

If piles of plates and dishes haven’t driven me to drink,

And sanity survived, almost, the menfolk’s appetite

… I could just leave my cup and teaspoon unwashed overnight…

*

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
This entry was posted in Humour, Motherhood, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to The dishwashing debate

  1. acflory says:
    March 13, 2016 at 05:11

    lmao – couldn’t live without mine. I just don’t have the soul of a poet. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. barbtaub says:
    March 13, 2016 at 06:03

    And you could leave the bed unmade. And the laundry unwashed.

    But you won’t.

    Like

    Reply
  3. Miriam says:
    March 13, 2016 at 06:59

    What would we do without our dishwashers 🙂 Thanks for the smile

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. jenanita01 says:
    March 13, 2016 at 08:28

    never had the room or luxury of a dishwasher, but I can see their merit!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. ellenbest24 says:
    March 13, 2016 at 09:17

    I enjoyed this very good. 😇 We have just finished our kitchen remodling and low and behold I haveone! A stainless steel box to hide crockery for two, until a few days latter when it’s full. Not quite in the habbit yet but I am weening myself away from the sink slowly

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. stevetanham says:
    March 13, 2016 at 09:24

    Reblogged this on stevetanham and commented:
    Some lovely and pithy humour from Sue…

    Like

    Reply
  10. Cathy says:
    March 13, 2016 at 09:37

    😀 😀 Thanks for the Sunday smile

    Like

    Reply
  11. KL Caley says:
    March 13, 2016 at 09:47

    Haha – fab. I’d be lost without mine. You’ve done well to last through all those times!! Now they’ve invented something to wash the dishes I think they need to find something to bath dogs! Lol KL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. franhunne4u says:
    March 13, 2016 at 10:07

    I am 47 and still do not own a dishwasher. I hated the feeling glasses had after they have been through the dishwasher. I would probably cook more often if I had dishwasher, though. Right now I only take the time on the weekend. Knowing pretty well I have to do some washing up after.

    Like

    Reply
  13. stockdalewolfe says:
    March 13, 2016 at 12:49

    So clever and entertaining and poignant!

    Like

    Reply
  14. Let's CUT the Crap! says:
    March 13, 2016 at 13:06

    I love my dishwasher. Got it shortly after my daughter was born. Who had time to do those awful dishes when the baby took up all my time?
    Now I am single and still love it especially when company comes. Sometimes I use it when I’m in a great cooking mood to clean up the mess afterwards. Dirty dishes grow in my sink like mushrooms in a field. Hate washing them, but I do. :/

    Like

    Reply
  15. Let's CUT the Crap! says:
    March 13, 2016 at 13:08

    How did I forget to tell you I love this poem? Isn’t this the truth? Thanks, Mom. ❤ 😀

    Like

    Reply
  16. Deanie Humphrys-Dunne says:
    March 13, 2016 at 14:10

    Reblogged this on deanieblog.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  17. sknicholls says:
    March 13, 2016 at 14:36

    That was divine and you are a saint. Loved the poem. My kids had chores that included dishes. My son was to wash the pots and pans, my daughter to load the dishwasher. One night I came home from work and could not find the pots and pans. Not in the sink, the cabinet, the oven. I asked questions and got no answers. A few days later I saw a red mound of fresh clay in the back yard and saw the shovel by the back wall of the shop. Dug, and found the pots and pans. Seriously, he had gone to that much trouble to wash them as if they’d never be replaced.

    Like

    Reply

  18. Pingback: The dishwashing debate | Annette Rochelle Aben

  19. Annette Rochelle Aben says:
    March 13, 2016 at 15:05

    Do you think my tears of laughter will wash all the dishes in my sink? Too flippin funny.

    Like

    Reply
  20. floridaborne says:
    March 13, 2016 at 15:39

    Funny!

    I used to have a dishwasher, but haven’t had one in 23 years. You end up washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, anyway, and a cap full of bleach in the dishwater does the came thing as Cascade. Plus, I’ve never seen a dishwasher with a pot scrubber cycle that actually works. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  21. Judy Martin says:
    March 13, 2016 at 16:44

    haHA! Brilliant Sue! although we have had a dishwasher for ages we only used to use it on Sundays for some strange reason, not any more though! 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  22. Darren Scanlon says:
    March 13, 2016 at 17:46

    Brilliant, Sue and I fully empathise/sympathise with you.

    Like

    Reply
  23. Donna says:
    March 13, 2016 at 20:24

    I do have a dishwasher but as there is just me to make the mess and clean up I usually wash them. But, it is nice when you get visitors to throw them in the dishwasher. Enjoyed reading this.

    Like

    Reply
  24. Eliza Waters says:
    March 13, 2016 at 20:24

    Dishwashers are most appreciated after parties, when the last thing you want to do after everyone has departed, is face a sink full of dishes.
    We run ours about twice a week as it takes that long to fill it up (just the two of us). But it sure is convenient! I expect when this one goes, we might not replace it (at least until the next party!) 😉

    Like

    Reply
  25. noelleg44 says:
    March 14, 2016 at 13:46

    Wonderful, Sue. So glad to hear you’re keeping busy 😉 We always had kids over for dinner when ours were still at home, Never knew how many would be here – one or two or nine or ten.

    Like

    Reply
  26. franklparker says:
    March 14, 2016 at 16:35

    Loved it, Sue. Reads like Pam Ayres. There’s two of us and a small dishwasher that gets put on on alternate nights (to take advantage of half-price power). We sstill use the sink a lot though for the pots and pans.

    Like

    Reply
    • Sue Vincent says:
      March 14, 2016 at 16:44

      Thanks, Frank. I love comic poetry… and was brought up on Marriot Edgar and Spike Milligan. I don’t aspire to those dizzy heights, but I enjoy playing with rhymes.

      Like

      Reply
  27. macjam47 says:
    March 16, 2016 at 00:03

    Great post Sue. With three of my own sons and multitudes of their friends, there were always dishes and an empty cookie jar as well.

    Like

    Reply
  28. Hemangini says:
    March 20, 2016 at 13:51

    I am an Indian and I have never had a dishwasher but I know what you mean :p Thank God I am not married yet.. lol

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Eliza Waters Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.