The dishwashing debate

'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'

I loaded up his dishwasher… it isn’t mine, you see,

But every Friday morning piles of dishes wait for me.

The night before sees lads at play, and men who like to dine

The dishes are all theirs, of course, the haute cuisine was mine.


I never had a dishwasher, I never had the space…

I just had hordes of teenage gannets mulling round the place.

No matter what I cooked or baked, it went at lightning speed,

I never really knew how many mouths I’d have to feed.


Right from the start their friends would come and knock upon the door,

It started with just one or two, but soon came many more.

They’d smile up, looking hopeful, saying, “Missus, have you baked?”

I’d let them in and feed them, then they’d run off duly caked.


But then they grew, instead of looking up they now looked down,

I’d feed them when they rolled in after nights out on the town.

I’d feed them when ‘she’ broke their hearts, and feed them and their mates…

And washed so many dishes that I’m worth my weight in plates.


But now my oven’s silent, just the dog and me at home,

While they have both grown up and now have kitchens of their own.

But every Thursday morning I still cook a special meal,

And they’ll load up their dishwasher, or leastways that’s the deal.


So every Friday early, long before my son appears,

I’m clearing up his kitchen and the evidence of beers.

It looks like Christmas dinner with the carnage they create

But this time I have luxury…and dishwashers are great.


I never had a dishwasher and now there’s no excuse

It really is unjustified with just one plate in use.

The dog, of course, has volunteered, she’d happily step in…

She’ll even clear the fridge and any food bound for the bin.


I guess, if after years of being wedded to the sink,

If piles of plates and dishes haven’t driven me to drink,

And sanity survived, almost, the menfolk’s appetite

… I could just leave my cup and teaspoon unwashed overnight…


About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
This entry was posted in Humour, Motherhood, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to The dishwashing debate

  1. acflory says:

    lmao – couldn’t live without mine. I just don’t have the soul of a poet. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. barbtaub says:

    And you could leave the bed unmade. And the laundry unwashed.

    But you won’t.


  3. Miriam says:

    What would we do without our dishwashers 🙂 Thanks for the smile

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jenanita01 says:

    never had the room or luxury of a dishwasher, but I can see their merit!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ellenbest24 says:

    I enjoyed this very good. 😇 We have just finished our kitchen remodling and low and behold I haveone! A stainless steel box to hide crockery for two, until a few days latter when it’s full. Not quite in the habbit yet but I am weening myself away from the sink slowly

    Liked by 1 person

  6. stevetanham says:

    Reblogged this on stevetanham and commented:
    Some lovely and pithy humour from Sue…


  7. Cathy says:

    😀 😀 Thanks for the Sunday smile


  8. KL Caley says:

    Haha – fab. I’d be lost without mine. You’ve done well to last through all those times!! Now they’ve invented something to wash the dishes I think they need to find something to bath dogs! Lol KL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. franhunne4u says:

    I am 47 and still do not own a dishwasher. I hated the feeling glasses had after they have been through the dishwasher. I would probably cook more often if I had dishwasher, though. Right now I only take the time on the weekend. Knowing pretty well I have to do some washing up after.


  10. So clever and entertaining and poignant!


  11. I love my dishwasher. Got it shortly after my daughter was born. Who had time to do those awful dishes when the baby took up all my time?
    Now I am single and still love it especially when company comes. Sometimes I use it when I’m in a great cooking mood to clean up the mess afterwards. Dirty dishes grow in my sink like mushrooms in a field. Hate washing them, but I do. :/


  12. How did I forget to tell you I love this poem? Isn’t this the truth? Thanks, Mom. ❤ 😀


  13. Deanie Humphrys-Dunne says:

    Reblogged this on deanieblog.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. sknicholls says:

    That was divine and you are a saint. Loved the poem. My kids had chores that included dishes. My son was to wash the pots and pans, my daughter to load the dishwasher. One night I came home from work and could not find the pots and pans. Not in the sink, the cabinet, the oven. I asked questions and got no answers. A few days later I saw a red mound of fresh clay in the back yard and saw the shovel by the back wall of the shop. Dug, and found the pots and pans. Seriously, he had gone to that much trouble to wash them as if they’d never be replaced.


  15. Pingback: The dishwashing debate | Annette Rochelle Aben

  16. Annette Rochelle Aben says:

    Do you think my tears of laughter will wash all the dishes in my sink? Too flippin funny.


  17. floridaborne says:


    I used to have a dishwasher, but haven’t had one in 23 years. You end up washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, anyway, and a cap full of bleach in the dishwater does the came thing as Cascade. Plus, I’ve never seen a dishwasher with a pot scrubber cycle that actually works. 🙂


  18. Judy Martin says:

    haHA! Brilliant Sue! although we have had a dishwasher for ages we only used to use it on Sundays for some strange reason, not any more though! 🙂


  19. Brilliant, Sue and I fully empathise/sympathise with you.


  20. Donna says:

    I do have a dishwasher but as there is just me to make the mess and clean up I usually wash them. But, it is nice when you get visitors to throw them in the dishwasher. Enjoyed reading this.


  21. Eliza Waters says:

    Dishwashers are most appreciated after parties, when the last thing you want to do after everyone has departed, is face a sink full of dishes.
    We run ours about twice a week as it takes that long to fill it up (just the two of us). But it sure is convenient! I expect when this one goes, we might not replace it (at least until the next party!) 😉


  22. noelleg44 says:

    Wonderful, Sue. So glad to hear you’re keeping busy 😉 We always had kids over for dinner when ours were still at home, Never knew how many would be here – one or two or nine or ten.


  23. franklparker says:

    Loved it, Sue. Reads like Pam Ayres. There’s two of us and a small dishwasher that gets put on on alternate nights (to take advantage of half-price power). We sstill use the sink a lot though for the pots and pans.


    • Sue Vincent says:

      Thanks, Frank. I love comic poetry… and was brought up on Marriot Edgar and Spike Milligan. I don’t aspire to those dizzy heights, but I enjoy playing with rhymes.


  24. macjam47 says:

    Great post Sue. With three of my own sons and multitudes of their friends, there were always dishes and an empty cookie jar as well.


  25. Hemangini says:

    I am an Indian and I have never had a dishwasher but I know what you mean :p Thank God I am not married yet.. lol


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