How not to go viral…

Posted on October 28, 2015 by Sue Vincent

deer day 044My fingertips are frozen blue,
I’m boiled and casting clothing.
Were I a man, it would be ‘flu…
I read reports with loathing
That womankind copes better
Going viral in this manner,
And while my nose gets wetter
I’m afraid I have a spanner
To cast right into this fallacy
Designed by persons nameless…
And promulgated callously…
That man-flu should be blameless.

I have a choice of two, I feel,
On whom to point the finger…
One worked to keep an even keel,
The other didn’t linger
Long enough for me to blame him
(Though with motherly discretion
I don’t think that I need name him –
And the bug made no impression.)

While many writers dream of going viral for a day…
This isn’t how to do it… and that’s all I have to say.

deer day 073I wish to debunk a myth. Men are not less able to cope with flu than women. I know this first hand. One of them gave me this and, of the two most likely candidates, one carried on heroically in spite of it all while the other went out on his bike… Me, I currently hover somewhere between gelid and boiled, unable to get either brain or extremities warmed up and moving.

My boss just laughed at my misery as I helped him get ready for that bike ride. He is able to laugh with a modicum of impunity, being also my son. My son, however, may think himself lucky my throat is too swollen to retaliate…

I managed to croak that he should be gentle with me…I’m fragile…  It didn’t work.

Honestly, when you are trying to be thoroughly miserable it helps if people play along…

I had no such luck, either with him or the dog, whose idea of being helpful was to bring me a stream of cold, wet tennis balls to throw. All I want to do is sleep, but there is no chance of that when she needs to go out. So I tap away in an effort to stay awake and encourage blood flow to the fingertips… and if what comes out is below par, for once I have an excuse. My brain’s not working.

The trouble with this whole scenario is that you don’t actually get to enjoy any of the perks… the early nights where you can’t actually sleep, the feet-up time because you have no choice, the cat-nap instead of the housework… there is, as far as I can see, no benefit to being ill when you feel ill.

I have come to the conclusion that we have the whole thing back to front and we should make a point of being nice to ourselves before we have no choice in the matter. So once I’ve stopped aching and feeling sorry for myself, I may take a leaf out of Samuel Goldwyn’s book, put my feet up and say I shall be laid up with intentional flu.

deer day 038Colleen’s #WQW & #Ronovan’s BeWoW.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
This entry was posted in Humour, Photography, Poetry, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

100 Responses to How not to go viral…

  1. Marilyn Armstrong says:
    October 28, 2015 at 05:07

    When I was young, we used to say you should never take time off from work when you are sick. You should go to work sick, because everyone will wish you had stayed home, so when you stay home because you just want some time off, everyone assumes you must be DESPERATELY ILL because look how sick you were when you came to work? I don’t suppose that’s making you feel any better. So. Chicken soup? Feel better.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Darcy says:
    October 28, 2015 at 05:09

    Awww. Get well soon!

    Like

    Reply
  3. soireadthisbooktoday says:
    October 28, 2015 at 05:14

    Chicken Soup, lots of fluids – especially electrolyte drinks (Gatorade) lots of hot tea with a large dollop of honey, stay warm, sleep a lot. High, warm humidity. If you don’t have a humidifier, simmer a pot of water with lemon in and lean over it with a towel over your head. Breath deeply! I love horehound drops for sore throat. I grew horehound in my garden, but didn’t get enough for lozenges – I will plant more next year.
    Feel better!!

    Like

    Reply
  4. Joleene Naylor says:
    October 28, 2015 at 05:15

    Hope you’re feeling better soon! 😀

    Like

    Reply
  5. drewdog2060drewdog2060 says:
    October 28, 2015 at 06:15

    I hope you are soon feeling better Sue. I remember one time at boarding school. Many of the other children had been taken ill with some horrible bug and where laid up in bed. However I did not appear to have contracted it and was told I had to get up and attend lessons which, in point of fact I was quite pleased about, congratulating myself on being one of the few pupils who haden’t become ill. Soon after getting up I was violently ill and joined my peers in bed! Kevin

    Like

    Reply

  6. Pingback: How not to go viral… | oshriradhekrishnabole

  9. Ritu says:
    October 28, 2015 at 08:05

    Oh no Sue! Get well soon… Man flu is the worst!!! 😉

    Like

    Reply
  10. The Hopeful Herbalist says:
    October 28, 2015 at 08:13

    😄 well if that’s your standard of writing when you are ill and claim your brain is not working… I’m quietly impressed. Get well soon 💐

    Like

    Reply
  11. jenanita01 says:
    October 28, 2015 at 09:03

    I seem to be in the same boat, Sue. But have no clue who gave it to me. My brain refuses to work, despite all my efforts and I’m so miserable half the time.
    I keep saying that ‘this too will pass’ but not bloody quick enough yet!

    Like

    Reply
  12. jenanita01 says:
    October 28, 2015 at 09:03

    Reblogged this on Jaye Marie and commented:
    be better soon, Sue…

    Like

    Reply
  13. Charles Yallowitz says:
    October 28, 2015 at 11:01

    Feel better soon! Very true about people not taking care of themselves or relaxing until it’s kind of too late. Fevers don’t help with focusing on reading or TV or anything. Not to mention you can’t leave the house to enjoy good weather. Humans are such strange creatures. As far as the ‘man flu’ thing goes, that kind of drives me nuts. My wife will treat a cold like an exotic disease that will consume the planet if she leaves the bed. I’ll get the same thing and be running around until breathing takes more effort than blinking. Honestly, both of us sound kind of stupid in those scenarios.

    Like

    Reply
  14. TanGental says:
    October 28, 2015 at 11:10

    You’re ill and you compose that poem? Sorry, but that’s rubbing our (inadequate) noses in it, Sue. This house lives by the stereotype: women have a snuffle, children have a cold and the men have ebola. Loved the Goldwyn quote: my fav is ‘we’ve all passed a lot of water since then…’

    Like

    Reply
  16. edwinasepisodes says:
    October 28, 2015 at 12:02

    Oh I hope you are soon feeling better Sue. I have had that virus lately and it is pretty nasty.

    Like

    Reply
  17. Alethea Kehas says:
    October 28, 2015 at 12:36

    I do hope you are feeling better soon. My Alex is home sick today with a fever. Roasted a chicken the other day, so I’ll be making soup. Wish you lived closer and I’d come over with a bowl of it for you ❤

    Like

    Reply
  18. vanbytheriver says:
    October 28, 2015 at 13:07

    Your brain on “sick mode” works really well, Sue. Take care and feel better soon. ☺

    Like

    Reply
  19. Darren Scanlon says:
    October 28, 2015 at 13:17

    “Laid up with intentional flu…” I like the sound of that, Sue. I may try it out but I doubt it would be very successful for me as I watch the dishes piling up in the kitchen and the washing piling up…you get the picture. Nice idea though.

    Get well soon!

    Like

    Reply
  20. D. Wallace Peach says:
    October 28, 2015 at 15:19

    I hope you feel better soon, Sue. Our bodies have a way of forcing rest on us if we haven’t been paying enough attention. And men are less able to cope with flu – my husband is a perfect example of flu-helplessness. 😀

    Like

    Reply
  21. socialbridge says:
    October 28, 2015 at 22:45

    Hope you’re feeling more like yourself, Sue. All I could think of reading this was : Sons and Mothers!!!

    Like

    Reply
  22. dgkaye says:
    October 29, 2015 at 01:09

    Get well soon Sue, and in the meantime, feet up, tea and broth, and happy reading. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  23. Eliza Waters says:
    October 29, 2015 at 01:43

    Oh, dear, I hope this passes quickly! Be well!

    Like

    Reply
  24. Widdershins says:
    October 29, 2015 at 01:46

    May all your viruses (viri?) be short-lived ones. Take care. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  25. reocochran says:
    October 29, 2015 at 02:53

    Hope you are healing and feeling much better, Sue. ♡

    Like

    Reply
  26. Ali Isaac says:
    October 29, 2015 at 08:33

    Oh no! Hope youre better soon. Xxx

    Like

    Reply
  27. Suzanne Joshi says:
    October 29, 2015 at 08:52

    Hope you get well soon, Sue. I know how you feel. I not only can’t afford to get sick, I have to be sure to keep it to myself if I do. My husband is 85 and already down with a broken hip, and his caregiver needs to take care of him. I couldn’t stand the guilt.

    Like

    Reply
  28. Silver Threading says:
    October 29, 2015 at 19:10

    Wow… if this is your writing when you don’t feel well! Sue, you are simply amazing. I loved your prose. The words made me smile. Darn men. They get everything easier don’t they? LOL! ❤

    Like

    Reply

  29. Pingback: Writer’s Quote Wednesday Weekly Wrap-Up from 10/28/15 | Silver Threading

  30. Pingback: Writer’s Quote Wednesday Weekly Wrap-Up from 11/04/15 | Silver Threading

  31. dorne whale says:
    November 10, 2015 at 16:19

    Hope you feel better soon Sue. Don’t want to be gloomy, but I’ve had this stupid thing for about a month now. It goes and then comes back and then goes again…and so on. It gives value for money! It’s woman flu!

    Like

    Reply
  32. Marje @ Kyrosmagica says:
    November 10, 2015 at 20:47

    Hope you’re feeling fighting fight soon Sue, and do put your feet up when you’re well again a bit of pampering never goes amiss.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to socialbridge Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.