Earworm alert: Do not, under any circumstances, sing this to the tune of ‘Food, glorious food’ from Oliver…. Apologies to Lionel Bart…
Flies, ‘orrible, flies,
So bloody persistent!
Flies, god-awful flies…
Fly –killer resistant.
Don’t know where they’re coming from…
Must be the manure
Out there in the farmer’s field
Smells worse than a sewer…
Flies, buzzy black flies…
Keep trying to swat ‘em.
Flies, ruddy great flies
Missed more than I got ‘em.
Landing on my hands and hair
In rapid succession…
Dog’s chasing them everywhere
With mounting aggression….
Flies, terrible flies…
Irksome little bastards
Flies, pestilent flies…
Annoyance well mastered…
Why round my computer screen
Must I needs have ten?
Flies, ‘orrible flies, bothersome flies…
Squirt ‘em again….
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
That was creative. I sang the song–sorry you missed it LOL
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Oh dear… in that case, my apologies for the next few hours 😉
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I find there is one species of pest that I detest more than the rest:
Mosquitos. The little bloodsuckers are ferocious, insatiable, and sneaky little blighters. (That’s the proper Brit word, right? Blighters? 🙂 ) Most flies don’t bite, just land on disgusting stuff before coming to visit. Most female mosquitos do.
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Tell me about it… and they always dine on me!
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Yeah, I seem to be one of the main courses, too.
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And I react very badly…
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Me, too. Cursing, flailing hands and arms at seeming empty air, scratching like a canine. Someone on the outside might think I’ve lost what little mind I have left…
Oh, wait. You meant something different… 😛
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I did… but not that different…not when the reaction sets in 😉
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Poor little devils
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I’m being mobbed …
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They love you.
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Then they are doomed to a tragic romance…
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Beautiful in its own way LOL
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oh yes, flies bite – the notorious black flies of Maine are nasty! Like small hummingbirds! We have large biting black flies here along with the mosquitoes. Ugh. And I am singing Food, Glorious Food in my head now!
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Goodness, I don’t fancy those, Noelle! And…apologies for earworm… 😉
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I’m sorry, but I just could not help myself, Sue.
Great poem. I think I’d rather the flies than the ruddy wasps.
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At least wasps usually come singly….
And sorry about that, Hugh 😉
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Have you never encountered a swarm of two or more of them? I hate doing that awful dance thingy when one ever comes near me. They seem to always come for me. I guess they can sense my fear 😦
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Not wasps, no.. except on picnics 🙂 But there was the incident with the steps, the floaty skirt and the small shrub full of bees… the neighbours got an eyeful as I stripped the skirt in haste to let the little sods out… but I couldn’t sit down for a while 😉
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Sue, you must write a post about this. It’s so funny. Not for you of course, but I can picture the whole thing in my mind.
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I can picture it too… nay, I can feel it 😉
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Your earworm warning came too late, Sue. You’ll be getting a bill from my shrink any moment now. 😉
Love your ode to miserable flies. Depending on the setting, the little buggers – black flies, love bugs, mosquitoes, etc. – seem to seek me out and annoy me.
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They seem to like me too… darned things get everywhere… 😉
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Ha! I loved this!! Be glad they weren’t deer flies/yellow flies. Those are even worse. Minions of Satan, I call ’em, and silent as a stealth bomber. Your first warning is a stabbing, burning pain, followed by the warmth of blood trickling down your (fill in body part here). GAH. Thankfully, deer fly season only lasts about 6 weeks here, then they’re gone. Until next year. 😦 Great poem/song. You are so very good at them!
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You are making me feel rather better about our houseflies… not enough to let them be, but better 😉
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Love this poem – I’m totally with you on the flies. They come in the minute I open a door or window, as if they’ve been waiting for it, and in spite of their multifarious eyes they can never find the way out again. They buzz around me relentlessly while I’m working, then vanish as soon as I produce the swat – I’ve wasted many a summer afternoon playing fly tennis, missing every stroke. And don’t even get me started on mosquitoes! I wouldn’t begrudge them a drop of blood, but why do they have to repay me with poison? Nature is beautiful, but she can be a real bitch at times! 😦
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I am absolutely with you on the mozzies, Annabelle… they want dinner? Fine… Yorkshire folk are reknowned for hospitality. But the great swollen lumps they leave behind is no way to tip the chef 😉
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More Bart Simpson than Lionel Bart but no worse for that…
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Nice 😉
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Ha ha. They are pests when they get so persistent! Now I’m convinced that anything can spark your imagination, Sue. 🙂
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Darned things have been divebombing me all day 🙂
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Noooooo! How could you do this to me Sue? [humming Oliver show tunes…]
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Ooops… sorry about that, Barb 😉
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Yep..if the tune fits !! We hardly ever see the common housefly any more…I’m not complaining. ☺
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I wish I didn’t! 🙂
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HaHaHA! Hilarious, and it went perfectly to the tune too. 🙂
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Have to do something to keep from going nuts with the things…
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I roared my head off reading that! Thanks so much for the laugh. 🙂
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😀
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Now you’ve done it! Ear worms! I constantly get ear worms but mine tend to be advert tunes (like that blummin’ Cillit bang man! ) Now the flies are buzzing cheerfully…where’s that swatter!!
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I don’t have TV, so I’m safe from that 🙂
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Excellent poem but more importantly…where can I get me some of those earphones?
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No idea… but they are rather amusing.
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Do you use those sticky tapes? I remember as a child living with a farm on each side of us and those tapes were always covered! Mom would hand us the flyswatter to practice hand-eye coordination- lol!
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I don’t know if you can get them any more… I haven’t seen them for years. 🙂
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We always got them at the hardware/feed store (or tack shop). I hope pesticides haven’t driven the tape makers out of business! At least the tapes are somewhat ‘green.’
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I’d rather use them than the horrid pesticide sprays. I do just try and put up with them as a rule, but the bad weather seems to have driven so many inside!
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Maybe you can vacuum them out of the windows? Yeah, like three times a day! ;-D
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Done that… they can have the windows, just my PC corner seems to be where they are settling…
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You need one of those Venus fly-traps, or maybe a dozen! 😉
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Go for the dozen 😉
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I was just about to say that you need some of that sticky tape, but I see Eliza beat me to it!
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I haven’t seen the stuff on sale for ages. I suppose I can’t blame them for coming in… it is lousy weather outside!
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That soumds terrible. We used to have horse flies in the country that came to our swimming dock. They waited until you were wet, then struck. I hate any insect that bites. 😦 Good poem. 🙂
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More annoying than anything, Suzanne. But I’ll be glad when they decamp!
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Great poem/lyrics Sue. Australia is the land of the flies. In summer people get covered with little bushflies, they get up nostrils, in ears down the throat and everywhere else. And as for our blowflies, hordes of them can pick up a dead kangaroo from the road side and carry the body metres. And our horse flies are as big as a small bird, they zero in on bushwalkers and sound like an approaching Stuka and they bite.
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I have heard that Australian flies are very friendly.. can’t say I fancy the acquaintance myself 😉
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